Men admit to their dirtiest deeds and most shameless scams ever.(Guy Confessions)

acid trip

"I was chatting with a few of my male coworkers about my crazy college clays and all the dumb stufferd pulled when I was younger. One of the girls who worked on my floor came in to get me to sign something. I felt bad that she'd walked in while everyone was slacking off in my office and she was hard at work, so I tried to include her in the conversation by jokingly saying 'Amy, want to take some acid after work?' She got a disgusted look on her face and stormed off. The next day, Amy came into my office and said that she couldn't believe how inappropriate I had been the day before. I was totally baffled and asked her what she meant. She said, 'You asked me if I wanted to shake my ass after world' She didn't believe me when I tried to explain what I'd really said, and she's hated me ever since."--Russell, 34

76% OF MEN HAVE BEEN FALSELY ACCUSED OF FLIRTING.--COSMO WEB POLL

a ring thing

"I sit in a cubicle next to this obnoxious coworker, Wendy, who listens to the radio really loudly all day long. I asked her to turn it off, because I couldn't concentrate with Enrique Iglesias constantly blaring in my ear. She said she would, but a few days later, it was back on and more deafening than ever. I didn't want to go to my boss about it, but I had to. She, too, asked Wendy to shut off her music, and she did ... for about two days. Finally, Wendy programmed her cell phone to play 'Oops! ... I Did It Again' every time it rang, just to piss me off. So one day when she left for lunch and forgot to take her cell with her, I threw it out the window. She never figured out what happened to it."--Jack, 32

the final cut

"My dad's girlfriend and her son, Karl, who's my age, moved in with us last year. I had to share a room with Karl, and we didn't get along at all. Soon after the merger, some of my CDs, DVDs, and clothes started to disappear. One night, I actually caught Karl stealing my new baseball hat, but I decided not to say anything. Since he was really proud of his long ponytail--because he thought it helped him get girls--I had a better idea about how to get back at him. The next morning, while he was fast asleep after a long night of partying, I cut off his precious ponytail. While I was at it, I got carried away and snipped off as much of the rest of his hair as I could without waking him. He was furious when he woke up. I just told him he could use my hat to cover up his ugly new do."--Will, 20