All woman wanted was a friend.

Byline: Ken Garfield

CHARLOTTE, N.C. _ In her time of need, the e-mailer wasn't interested in where the church stood on gays in the pews, women on the pulpit or any of the other big issues of the day.

She just wanted a friend to lean on. And she didn't find one in church.

"We have lived in Charlotte for 17 years and for the last 16 of those have been members of one of the largest traditional churches in SE Charlotte with over 4,000 members," she wrote to me recently. "I have never wanted to attend a church this large, but all the churches were large when we came here, and they are even larger today."

The e-mailer continued:

"We mostly have good memories, and certainly I will never forget what an outstanding Rector we had. However, about 3years ago, for the first time, I did not attend church for 5-6 months due to a medical problem, which eventually turned into some emotional issues. As is usually the case, my husband did not go when I didn't. My absence turned into 2years, a first for me. During that time, I did not get a single call from anyone at the church to find out why we were not there.

"We did periodically get notices in the mail about our pledge (which we paid). As I sit here today, I don't think there is a single person in that church that ever knew we were not there for two years, including the staff.