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* We've all seen Britney Spears grab her goods onstage. But until her anthem to solo sex, "Touch of My Hand," it was tough to picture the ex-Mickey Mouse Clubber double-clicking her own mouse. Nowadays, she's hardly coy when talking about pleasuring her bod. And it seems to be contagious. Listen to Missy Elliott's "Toyz." Hint: She's not rapping about Tickle Me Elmo. Yet even though masturbation seems less taboo, the National Health and Social Life survey reported that 58 percent of women don't indulge. And of those who do, 47 percent feel guilty. It's ridiculous, insists Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of Everything You Know About Love and Sex Is Wrong. "Masturbation prepares you for great sex, since you learn what you like and can teach a partner," she says. Every Cosmo girl should know how to wow herself. Here, a helping hand.
SOLO STEP 1
Get Into the M Mind-Set
It takes more than a five-second lip-lock to get you in the mood for sex with him. Same holds true for a DIY session. To light your libido, create an atmosphere for arousal: a haven sans distractions where you can say to hell with inhibition. Lock the door so no one bursts in. Disconnect your phone(s). Add ambience with candles and slow jams.
Next, tune in to your head space. "If you're watching CNN and trying to masturbate, it's going to take a while," says Rachel Venning, cofounder of the sex boutique Toys in Babeland and coauthor of Sex Toys 101. "In order to reach your peak, you need to relax and focus." If it takes a glass of wine to block out your boss (buzz kill!) and transition from work to play, cheers. Once you feel mentally uncluttered, fill your mind with sexy thoughts. Picturing Johnny Depp in a loincloth might help. Or do as Liz *, 28, does. "I have a videotape of Top Gun that I keep set to the volleyball scene," she says. "All that action makes me want to get some."
SOLO STEP 2
Explore Down South