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1 Licking your finger and grooming his eyebrows in public
2 Saying his ex, with whom he's still friendly, resembles Anna Nicole Smith after a breast reduction ... and a lobotomy
3 While at the same time, reminding him that your ex is now a hedge-fund manager with a house in Mustique
4 Discussing the size and merits of your engaged girlfriends' rings behind their a backs, with commentary such as "Now, Tony really ponied up for Erica's rock!"
5 Affectionately mocking him in front of your mutual friends ("Mike gets sooo mad when I criticize his driving, but three moving violations in six months speaks for itself, right?")
6 Subscribing ...