This Is Your Brain on Cars.(Column)

Byline: Rich Ceppos

News flash! Medical science has finally provided irrefutable clinical proof that being a car enthusiast addles your brain and causes serious physiological side effects. In a recent study conducted at Ulm University in Germany and sponsored by DaimlerChrysler, men who were "highly interested in cars'' were shown photos of all types of automobiles while their brain activity was monitored in a Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) scanner.

The result: Images of sports cars were shown to activate the male brain's pleasure center in the same manner as chocolate, cocaine and sex.

Well, duh!

This incredible revelation came to light in a recent story in one of our sister publications, the industry trade paper Automotive News Europe. It chronicled how the emerging science called neuromarketing hopes to unlock the secrets of how consumers make emotional connections to things and what makes them buy those things-in this case, automobiles.

But please, let us not overlook the true scientific value of this investigation. We already knew what your brain looked like on drugs. Now, finally, we know what it looks like on cars. Much the same, it turns out.

And how about that sexual connection? So now we also know that, when a driver utters, say, an off-color cliche about a sports car, such as, "It's as much fun as you can have with your clothes on,'' it's the addiction speaking, not the person. Show these folks some understanding; there's no known cure. You might want to give them a big, fat chocolate bar while you're at it, just to prove you care.