Playing the Name Game.(naming the car models)

Byline: Dutch Mandel

Parents wrestle over naming their offspring as financial institutions do over football stadiums. Does the choice work with the last name? Will it best represent just who the child is as that child grows up-or present the parent's vision of who that child should be-or will it over-promise and under-deliver? Is it euphonic? Is it tough? For our boys we opted to go with three strong nicknames (after saddling them with the obligatory grandfathers' handles), so that Clay, Matt and Jake will always give pause to a bully cocked for a fight. Can't you hear it: "Oh [fill in name here], uh? Well, okay, just don't look at me like that again!''

Everything's in a name. Ask Ford, which hired American poet Marianne Moore in 1955 to create names for a car that "flashes a dramatically desirable picture in people's minds.'' Oh, they flashed, and then-thankfully-died out like a supernova. Names like: "Thunder Crester,'' "The Resilient Bullet,'' "Mongoose Civique,'' "Andante con Moto,'' "Anticipator'' and our personal favorite, "Utopian Turtletop.''

(We're here to say, however, that the Blue Oval Boys missed a chance with the current sport/utility vehicle lineup. Moore also had suggested "Varsity Stroke'' and "Intelligent Whale,'' both of which, in our humble opinion, handily beat out the current "E-named'' path down which the company has trundled.)

Ford is not alone in its search for the ideal name. Car companies, like other consumer product firms, spend hundreds of millions of dollars with folks who conjure up names for stuff. Each name must resonate with consumers as well as within the culture. Now we don't profess to be name gurus here, but guidelines have to work across all boundaries. For example, like our boys' nicknames, truck names must be tough, and for the same reason: If you're taking on the competition in a testosterone-filled arena, do ...