THE WEIRD AND THE WONDERFUL; Nissan's Quest for the perfect minivan.(Auto File)(Product/Service Evaluation)

When we were kids we didn't have no dad-blumbed DVD players with infrared headphones at all seating positions! Didn't have no ding-gummit collapsible captain's chairs with faux-reptilian tree bark upholstery! And we managed to get along fine without our own longitudinally aligned personal sunroof, dog blast it! We sat in the rear-facing jumpseat of a monstrously huge and inefficient station wagon breathing toxic exhaust fumes and we liked it!

Yes, the Nissan Quest has two optional DVD screens for the two rows of seats in the back; its own version of the SkyView Maxima sunroofs, each with its own retractable sun shade; and yes, the interior has funky, strange upholstery that would look more at home on the bar stools of an East German existentialist's basement espresso bar. But any kid who complains about riding in a Quest should be made to get a job.

The parents can't really complain, at least not about driving the Quest. It shares a platform with the semi-sporty Altima and Maxima sedans, prompting many owners and testers to call it "car-like'' and Nissan to call it "the Z of minivans.''

The powertrain certainly is car-like. All three Quest trim levels come with the 240-hp 3.5-liter V6 shared in one form or another with the Altima and Maxima. S and SL Quests get a four-speed automatic while our SE got a nice, smooth five-speed auto. The more powerful V6 in the Altima and Maxima versions of the FF-L platform gets those smaller, lighter cars from 0 to 60 mph in about 6.3 seconds each while the almost 4200-pound Quest takes 8.41 seconds.

It still outperformed the 10-second-plus Chrysler minivans we tested at their debuts, and was even faster than the non-minivan Chrysler Pacifica by almost a second and a half. The Quest's 0-to-60 time was also within a half-second up or down of published times for the best of the competition.

With independent suspension all around-no leaf springs and solid beams here-the Quest sailed through our slalom at a very minivan-like 39.2 mph. It ...