Letter From New Jersey: Filling Every Seat in the Minivan.(Letter to the Editor)

Not everyone was as overjoyed as my husband and I when we conceived our third child. My mother, for one, thought we were insane: "You already have a healthy girl and boy; why do you need another baby?" My New York City colleagues--living in cramped apartments and paying private-school tuition--were similarly flummoxed: "But where will you put it?"

But in the New Jersey suburb where I live, nobody batted an eye. We live in a family-friendly town, where crossing guards watch over kids on their way to and from the excellent public schools. Our house, a rambling Victorian, had a spare bedroom, and we already owned a minivan. Even the swing set in the backyard had space for three swings. So why not fill them all?

Out in the leafy land of the Ford Expedition and the McMansion, it seems like hardly anyone has just two kids anymore. A quick scan of my friends and neighbors reveals too many families to count with three kids, at least five with four kids, two with five and the odd few with a half dozen or more.

Statistics do not bear me out. According to the latest U.S. Census, the average number of children per family has been dropping for decades, down now to about 1.83. But you'd never know it where I live. Everyone drives an SUV or minivan, which makes parking hazardous but carpooling a dream. The elementary-school population is growing so fast that they keep hiring teachers. And competition for spots in some YMCA swim classes is so fierce that parents line up hours in advance on sign-up day.

Why are we having so many kids? Some couples are eager to replicate their own happy childhoods; many of my peers grew up with four or even five siblings, and by those standards are actually having smaller families. A few admit to the morbid notion of having more than two as an insurance policy: God forbid something ...