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Relationship wrecker.(Ask Cosmo Anything)(Letter to the Editor)

Cosmopolitan

| October 01, 2003 | Kurtz, Irma | COPYRIGHT 2003 Hearst Communications, reprinted with permission of Hearst. This material is published under license from the publisher through the Gale Group, Farmington Hills, Michigan.  All inquiries regarding rights should be directed to the Gale Group. (Hide copyright information)Copyright

[GUY QUESTION]

I always end up going for girls who have boyfriends, and I'll do everything in my power to break them up. But I lose interest in the girl as soon as I win her over, and I end up dumping her soon afterward. I really want to be in a long-term relationship, but this has become a pattern with me. How can I stop the cycle and find a relationship that lasts?

The problem is, you're not making love, you're making war. Your drive is not sexual ... it's competitive. Naturally, your interest in the woman doesn't last after the battle is won, because you're hungry for the next victory. But thankfully, you are beginning to come to your senses. At last you want to change your pattern and find a partner, not just a trophy. Start by recognizing that your problem is not with women but with men. With every conquest, you hope to prove yourself a ...

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