Acting out. (last word).

Do you ever feel caught between those who think homosexuality isn't as bad as hooking up with a dog and those who think it's actually worse? Well, buck up, baby; time is on our side. Whether or not the Supreme Court overturns the Texas sodomy law, there's a growing consensus that even pansies are entitled to some privacy. The American people finally seem willing to let us go to hell rather than jail. That's some kind of progress. Just don't call it freedom.

Great battles against violence and discrimination lie ahead, but they won't be about the way we have sex (as long as we keep it behind closed doors). The cutting-edge issue in gay rights will be the way we present gender. If that sounds like a page from the queer-theory cookbook, think about what makes someone look gay. If two women wheeling a baby seem like lesbian parents, it's not the stroller that outs them. It's the way they hold their bodies, use makeup, and wear their hair. As subtle as their style may be, it sets them apart from the norms of femininity--and that shows. You don't have to be a tranny to deviate from the rules of the gender game. You only have to act gay.

Gender flexibility is the signature of gay style. However we do male and female, it's rarely right on the mark. Back in the phobe-zapping liberation days, the idea was to flaunt our deviance. Now, in the age of assimilation, a new strategy has emerged. It holds that, except for a "small minority" of drag queens and such, gay people are normal in their presentation--or would be if they weren't held back by insecurity. Embrace your gender, say the normalists, and you'll discover your true nature, which is to enjoy being a girl or guy. I know how thrilling realness can be, but I sure don't think it's natural.

Before you scream "Speak for yourself" think about the way you behave when you're out with gay friends. Is that how you act in straight society? If there's a difference, it's because you know what it takes to get across, and you're able to ...