Over-the-Top Tips.(Brief Article)

"Excuse me?" I asked. The young lady sitting alone at the bar repeated her insult. "A $1 tip for five drinks? That is so cheap."

"Actually, it was three drinks, for $12, which makes the tip nearly 10 percent," I countered. And wondering why I was defending myself, I asked: "Are you with the Service Industry Secret Service or something?"

Any foreigner in America will sooner or later have an awkward encounter over tips. I'm beginning to think that arrival signs for immigration in this country should read: WELCOME TO AMERICA. PLEASE LEAVE AN ADEQUATE TIP, REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH YOU ENJOY YOUR STAY.

You see, here you tip everyone--and well. Since I've lived in the United States for the past eight years, you'd think I would have figured that out by now. But no, I'm still a cheapskate, it seems, oblivious to the fact that "waitpersons" in this country have to live on their tips. Their salaries, if they're paid at all, are well below minimum wage. So when it comes time to settle a bill, pay attention. These folks need a tip. A real tip, not just the easy 10 to 15 percent!

Actually, 15 percent is the bare minimum these days. If you don't want a screaming waitress in your ear (not to mention a frosty stranger dissing you), better make it 20 percent--or more. I'm serious. An old girlfriend and I used to frequent an Italian restaurant in L.A., where we were always showered with hospitality. Then, one Friday night, after occupying a booth for the better part of an evening and eating almost nothing, I left what seemed like a generous 15 percent. Our waitress stormed up after us, shouting, "Are you for real?" Luckily, the manager smoothed things over. But that, I've since learned, was itself an aberration. Leave a 10 percent tip these days and ...