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About a month ago, my boyfriend and I acted out a rape fantasy of mine. Even though we had mapped it all out, I freaked. I yelled at him to stop, but he thought it was part of the game and kept going. Afterward, he felt terrible. But now I've lost interest in having sex with him. What can we do to fix this?
Any couple who decides to risk acting out a fantasy with pronounced S and M elements must first agree on a word or gesture that means stop. It could be as simple as just saying the word blue. But unfortunately, you didn't do that and are now forced to deal with the consequences. Rape is a crime, but strangely enough, it's also a somewhat common female fantasy. Rape is about surrendering control, and that is what you did by agreement. It's understandable that you resent him for going through with it when you were so frightened. ...