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Chat room cheater. (Agony).

Cosmopolitan

| May 01, 2003 | Kurtz, Irma | COPYRIGHT 2003 Hearst Communications, reprinted with permission of Hearst. This material is published under license from the publisher through the Gale Group, Farmington Hills, Michigan.  All inquiries regarding rights should be directed to the Gale Group. (Hide copyright information)Copyright

My fiance and I share an e-mail account. I've logged on to find him using the screen name Hotstud, so I assume he is going into chat rooms. Anonymous cyber sex is fine with me, but I'll be upset if he is meeting people for sex. Should I use a fake name to log on and see what he's up to?

I don't think setting up a fake account is the way to go, Deception by one partner does not justify deception by the other, and it can get ugly, no matter who does it first. In this case, confronting him, as hard as it may be, seems preferable. You two share an e-mail account and he apparently made no real effort to hide his adventures in cyber space, so it could be that he wants you to know about them. Why? Perhaps he feels guilty and, like many guys, lacks the nerve for confrontation and wants you to initiate the conversation. If you opt for the straightforward approach, be brave and brace yourself to hear things you might not want to. For example, he may want more frequent and spicier sex with you. If your sex life has lost ...

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