The Saddam Hussein contract.

(From The Korea Herald)

So far no weapons of mass destruction have been found, which, of course, is the main reason we invaded Iraq. A runner-up reason is that we wanted to destroy Saddam Hussein. I don't know if he is dead or not, but a guess is that it cost $75 billion to knock him off. I thought this was cheap until I ran into Ungaro Piccolo, the godfather of the Rizzotto family. He was walking down the street in his bathrobe and I invited him into Starbucks for a cup of coffee. He said, "You paid too much to send Hussein to the fishes.'' "Seventy-five billion dollars is not an expensive price to pay to eliminate the cruelest and most brutal dictator in the world.'' "The Rizzotto family could have done it for one billion, plus the cost of cement shoes when we dumped him into the Tigris.'' "Why didn't you tell the White House about that?'' Rizzotto said, "We bid on the job but we demanded certain things.'' "Like what?'' "We asked for the loan shark rights to Basra and the looting rights to Baghdad.'' "That isn't asking for much. If you had gotten the contract, how would you have accomplished the mission?'' "I would have gotten two of my most trusted capos. We knew that Saddam had lunch in a restaurant before he went into his bunker.'' "And would you have shot him right on the street?'' "No, ...