O, The Oprah Magazine articles from August 2006

O, The Oprah Magazine archives from August 2006

We hear you! Readers celebrate well-rounded women and one hunky man, but first, a call to arms (and legs and bellies).(letters)(Letter to the editor)
August 1, 2006... Body Politics Thank you for addressing body hatred in the June issue [above]--both politically, with Eve Ensler's "Belly, Dancing," and spiritually, in the interview with Tara Brach, "What the Body Knows" [by Aimee Lee Ball]. I've often...

Here we go!(Cover story)
August 1, 2006... THIS MONTH WE'RE DISCOVERING the rich rush of pleasure that comes from reconnecting with an old friend. We're feeling the sting of betrayal when a friendship goes south. We're thinking about those good, smart, slightly crazy kindred spirits who...

August.
August 1, 2006... "Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love." --Elie Wiesel "I keep my friends as misers do their treasure, because, of all the things granted us by wisdom, none is greater or better than friendship." --Pietro Aretino ...

Live your best life.(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... "For happiness she required women to walk with. To walk in the city arm in arm with a woman friend (as her mother had with aunts and cousins so many years ago) was just plain essential. Oh! those long walks and intimate talks, better than...

The relationship two-step: it's a dance--move too close, and you get your toes stepped on. Keep people at arm's length, and you might lose contact entirely. Martha Beck on how to set healthy boundaries ... without missing a beat.(advice, etc.)
August 1, 2006... SHAKESPEARE'S ROMANTIC comedies often end with the cast dancing around the stage together. This is to show that after enduring ridiculous confusion, the characters' relationships have settled into normalcy. Elizabethan dramas used dance to...

Dr. Phil: "it's common for people to tie up their self-worth in their careers"; Phillip C. McGraw, PhD, on finding a job you love, breaking a bad habit, and getting more hugs from your husband.(advice, etc.)(Column)
August 1, 2006... Q I'm 35 years old and hold a BA in political science and an MBA. For the past seven years, I've worked at the same company. I hate my job. In fact, I've hated every job I've held since graduating from college. I have no idea what I want to be...

Suze Orman: "like many women, you feel obligated to be supportive"; Why do I feel nervous about my husband's new business? Should my boyfriend take some financial responsibility for my child? How can I repair the damage I did to my daughter's credit?(advice, etc.)
August 1, 2006... Q My 45-year-old husband has resolved to quit his job in January. He spends 70 hours a week in a miserable office and would rather put his energy into a business of his own. His plan is to open a gift-engraving shop. I want him to be happy, but...

Elizabeth Perkins's aha! moment: one girl had all the opportunity in the world. The other didn't. For the actress, it was a call to freedom-and fairness for all.(advice, etc.)
August 1, 2006... I WAS HELPING MY FRIEND PLANT HERBS IN HER BACK-yard garden one perfect, smog-free Los Angeles Wednesday, and I had just patted down the soil around a bunch of basil when I heard the sound of a lawn mower. At the far end of the property, I saw...

Something to think about.
August 1, 2006... Friendship As challenging as it is to get through your daily responsibilities, when you hear yourself telling a friend that you're too busy to see her, what's really happening? This month we're exploring shortages of time and interest. ...

One Nation under dog: how do we love our furry friends? Let us tally up the ways....(O-ZONE)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... 88 Percentage of women who find at least one quality in their dog they'd like to see in their man [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] $18,000 Annual earnings of a part-time dog-walker in New York City 34 Percentage of women who...

ScreenGems: two new movies worth standing in line for.(O-ZONE)( Quinceanera and Half Nelson)(Movie review)
August 1, 2006... * Quinceanera, named after the traditional coming-of-age party for Latin American girls took Sundance's top prize for drama early this year. A finely etched portrait of a Mexican-American family in the gentrifying Echo Park neighborhood of Los...

Little Miss Sunshine.(MUST-SEE LITTLE MOVIE OF THE MONTH)(Movie review)
August 1, 2006... THE ROAD TRIP AND THE DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY, TWO CLASSIC FILM themes, have met before--remember National Lampoon's Vacation? Little Miss Sunshine is not that. This smart dark comedy from directors Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris takes its name...

Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships.(Daniel Goleman)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... "The more close friends women have, the less likely they are to develop physical impairments as they age.... Even after experiencing an enormous blow, like the death of a spouse, women with a close friend and confidante are more likely to...

All about Almodovar.(Pedro Almodovar's)(Table)
August 1, 2006... 2006 MARKS THE 20TH ANNIVERSARY OF SPANISH DIRECTOR Pedro Almodovar's introduction to American audiences. If you haven't yet ventured into the Academy Award winner's singular world of outrageous comedy, soapy plotlines, colorful sets, and even...

Legal ease: need a lawyer? A web site can help you find one who's ready, willing, prescreened, and affordable.(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... EVERY YEAR IN America, about three million women are physically abused by a husband or boyfriend. Only about 24 percent of single mothers receive rightful child support. Divorce, custody, alimony--all of these require legal counsel, yet often...

TiVoThis.(BBC America premieres 'Shakespeare Re-Told')
August 1, 2006... * On August 6, BBC America premieres Shakespeare Re-Told, a series that adapts a handful of the Bard's classics for the 21st century. Macbeth is an ambitious chef at a hot restaurant, Much Ado About Nothing's Beatrice and Benedick are rival...

Talking points: 5 facts about the Human Voice.(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... WHETHER IT'S SULTRY, SINGSONGY, husky, honeyed, thunderous, or mousy, your voice speaks volumes about your mental health, your social status, your upbringing, even your looks. In her new book, The Human Voice, British sociologist and BBC...

Stroke of genius.(What a Concept)(Arts Unbound)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... Twenty weeks into her third pregnancy, fiber artist Catherine Lazen was told she'd be lucky if her child ever spoke or walked: Tests revealed a genetic disorder that would likely result in severe retardation, or worse. Ignoring doctors' advice,...

The Woman's Belly Book.(NUGGET)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... "Be on the lookout for beauty. What do you see, hear, touch, taste, and smell that's beautiful? Is beauty uniform, fixed, straight, angular, flat? Is it textured, variable, smooth, sloping, curved? What makes something beautiful to you? Our...

Short coming.(O-ZONE)(Martin Short: Fame Becomes Me)(Theater review)
August 1, 2006... What do you get when you mix one of the great comedic performers of our time with the brilliant musical team that brought Hairspray to Broadway? Martin Short: Fame Becomes Me, a wacky satire on America's obsession with the personal expose,...

What's playing in Joshua Bell's ear?(Music)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... When he's talking about music, violin virtuoso Joshua Bell sometimes apologizes for not having the right words; in those moments, you can almost hear him longing for his instrument. On his upcoming album, Voice of the Violin (Sony Classical),...

Designing women.(Arlonzia Pettway's designs)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... DURING THE Depression, Arlonzia Pettway's family made quilts to keep the wind from sneaking through the cracks of their mud-and-straw home in Gee's Bend, Alabama. In the 1960s, Pettway sold her handmade quilts for $5 apiece. Now, thanks in part...

Momma Zen.(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... "There are no right answers. But there is a right question. It's the one that rubs up against our self-righteousness, resistance, and fears.... When you ask yourself, 'Why not?' you may find yourself in motion, across a vivid and unpredictable...

Star search.(Gizmo)(Product/service evaluation)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... Now any astronomy rube can identify heavenly bodies with Stephen Hawking-like precision, thanks to Celestron's ingenious (if not terribly pretty) SkyScout ($399). Simply peer through the handheld viewfinder and press a button, and the...

Mail bonding.
August 1, 2006... A flying e-message--great. A gossipy phone chat--bliss. One of these clip-and-send, just-so-you-know-I'm-thinking-of-you postcards? Now, that's friendship. "You give me strength during the mad, bizarre days...." --QUINCYTROUPE "She...

The O list.(a run down on consumer goods)
August 1, 2006... "A few things I think are just great."--OPRAH Ready! Set! Go! "Are you one of those people who have trouble getting out the door in the morning? This extremely smart organizer holds bills that need mailing, keys, grocery lists......

Look what we found! What's the big deal for fall? High, chunky heels (excellent for striding your way through life) and large, handsome carryalls.(Buyers guide)
August 1, 2006... Walking Tall Sturdy soles and rounder, slightly retro toes help you add height without sacrificing comfort. From left: Snake stacks up persuasively, MICHAEL Michael Kors, $129. Bow-tied suede sports a cushiony Nike Air insole, Cole Haan,...

Jewelry with soul: maybe these talismans can't really bless and keep you--but they might make you feel safer, stronger, more in tune with yourself. Not bad for a trinket.(Buyers guide)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... Not-to-Worry Beads Give us this day our guardian angel jewelry, inspired by Native American and Eastern traditions. 1 Buddhist prayer beads and Christian religious medal make a bracelet that blends East and West. Miracle Icons by Mary...

Look what we found! Sweet-scented bath fizzes, a deliciously nutty way to soften your skin, a fragrance worth fighting for, and more ... Here's what O's beauty editors--Valerie Monroe and Jenny Bailly--fell in love with this month.(beauty)(Product/service evaluation)
August 1, 2006... TELL THE TRUTH: Have you ever been tempted to throw a couple of scoops of Ice cream into a steaming bath? No? Wow, that's a relief; neither had we. But now that we've done it--not with real ice cream, of course, but with these Me! Bath Ice...

Ask Val: you've got issues? Our beauty director, Valerie Monroe, has answers.(beauty)
August 1, 2006... Q | Have you heard of eyelash extensions? Are they worth a try? [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Yes. And maybe. They're silk or synthetic lashes that are individually glued to your natural ones to make them look more lush. Because they require...

Help! It's 95[degrees], and I'm sweating like a hog ... and other sighs of summer. Jenny Bailly finds solutions to the seven stickiest beauty problems of the season.
August 1, 2006... 1) As soon as I step outside, my hair triples in size. "When hair is dehydrated--which coarse or curly hair often is--it will attract water in the air and begin to swell," explains renowned curl expert Ouidad, of the Oui-dad Salon in New...

The whole truth about whole grains: they're filling, satisfying, cholesterol-lowering, diabetes-reducing, possibly even cancer-preventing--and 20 percent of us aren't eating them at all. Miriam Nelson, PHD, separates the wheat from the chaff--and shows how to add beautiful whole grains to your diet simply and deliciously.(body wise)
August 1, 2006... WAKE UP AND TASTE the good news. With the latest swing of the diet pendulum, the ban on carbs has ended: Carbohydrates are okay again, as long as they're whole grains. But--and hold it right there if you're imagining dense, leaden feed that...

Frozen desserts--the real scoop.
August 1, 2006... CONE. CUP. STRAIGHT UP AND out of the carton. In the hot, sticky days of summer, dieting resolve tends to wilt, especially when the Good Humor truck comes around playing its Pavlovian jingle. But some iced treats are less fattening than...

Lose fat, do good.(body wise)
August 1, 2006... When Katherine Chok, a court reporter from San Jose, California, signed up to run in the 2005 California International Marathon on behalf of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS), she thought it would be a worthy way to lose weight before her...

First-class medicine.(care and treatment of sick persons)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... IT'S AWFUL WHEN SICKNESS STRIKES in the middle of the night and you have no way to talk to your doctor. But what if she has given you her home number, with carte blanche to use it? And what if, when you call, she comes right over, orders a...

The way to eat: David L. Katz, MD, sorts out the healthy, the harmful, and the hype.(body wise)(Column)
August 1, 2006... Q | Is it true that nonstick Teflon-coated pans pass on cancer-causing toxins to the foods cooked in them--and to us? --BOB STEVENS, Silver Spring, Maryland Teflon degrades at temperatures above 500[degrees]--and pans can easily get...

America's next great diet craze: will it be the eat-every-three-hours diet? The starve-every-other-day diet? The no-wheat-no-dairy diet? Before you buy another book or throw out half your groceries, Kristyn Kusek Lewis rates the six hottest contenders. There's at least one in here for you.(body wise)
August 1, 2006... EVER SINCE IRWIN Stillman, MD, published his starch-banning The Doctor's Quick Weight Loss Diet in the 1960s, popular diet plans have played musical food groups: no carbs, more protein, low fat, high carbs.... Today, having been there and done...

Claws for rejoicing: if you think you can't improve on a fresh, steamed-to-perfection Maine lobster, try chef Jody Williams's light, zingy, Italian-accented version. Bellissimo! Lise Funderburg ciaos down.(great food)
August 1, 2006... IN THE MERCURIAL WORLD OF restaurants, where most new ventures don't last more than a couple of years, only one thing endures: great cooking. Jody Williams, executive chef at Gusto, a popular 85-seat trattoria in Manhattan's West Village, has...

Silence visible.(reading room)(photography of Lorna Simpson)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... What are you looking at? In the case of Lorna Simpson's intense, enigmatic photographs, as well as her film and video installations, you can never be quite sure. Lorna Simpson (Abrams) is a midcareer celebration of this innovative artist who...

Your castle or mine? Old and new worlds collide in Jennifer Egan's chilling and elegant novel.
August 1, 2006... A HARROWING MOment arrives near the end of The Keep (Knopf), Jennifer Egan's newest novel, when the tale transforms its shape from highly entertaining melodrama to potent allegory. Egan has maneuvered most of her major characters into the...

Happy hours: a sad/funny, gin-coherent memoir of family life.(Lee Montgomery's The Things Between Us: A Memoir)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... When Mumzy demands her first "Gin Minty" of the day at 8:45 A.M. (a raised three fingers indicating "the number of ounces of gin she wants in her drink") and Big Dad is being eaten away by stomach cancer, you know you're not in for an uplifting...

Beloved country: The Syringa Tree grows into a gorgeous, hopeful, heartrending novel.(The Syringa Tree)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... IN 2001 WRITER-ACTRESS PAMela Gien brought 1960s South Africa--its tensions and cruelties and miraculous beauty--to the stage in her Obie Award-winning play, The Syringa Tree (Random House). Now, in a novel of the same name, she has widened the...

Assignments and assignations: Dorothy Gallagher cut quite a swath through New York's literary-bohemian scene and has the breezy memoir to prove it.(The Things Between Us: A Memoir)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... It is not difficult to understand the appeal of Dorothy Gallagher's new memoir, Strangers in the House: Life Stories (Random House). She is one of those rare people who lead active lives, engaged, alert, slightly reckless and unsettled, open to...

Alice's alias: the provocative biography of a woman writer who found her true calling as a man.(Alice Bradley Sheldon's James Tiptree Jr.,)(James Tiptree Jr., )
August 1, 2006... SOONER OR LATER, EVERY (OR NEARLY every) woman writer has probably wondered how differently her work would be received if she published it under a man's name. Alice Bradley Sheldon found out in the late 1960s when, under the pseudonym James...

BibliO: how to hunt a ghost, salvage a marriage, unravel a riddle, and wrestle with sheep.(reading room )(Brief article)(Book review)
August 1, 2006... * Arcane mysteries, anyone? During the late 19th century, philosopher William James was a guiding spirit of the Society for Psychical Research, a group out to make a scientific case for the afterlife. Charles L. Dodgson (a.k.a. Lewis Carroll)...

Books that made a difference to Lili Taylor: the Factotum star looks for depth, light, and utter eureka!(reading room)
August 1, 2006... RECENTLY, I CAME across a quote by Hannah Arendt, the political theorist and refugee: "Totalitarianism is never content to rule by external means... [it] has discovered a means of dominating and terrorizing human beings from within." From this...

The kindness of strangers (the rudeness of spouses): at work your spouse is the soul of consideraton. At night it's all you can do to get him to be civil. And, sometimes, you're the bad guy. Therapist Terrence Real on how to make home a nicer place to come home to.(connections)
August 1, 2006... A COUPLE I'LL CALL TED AND ANNE WERE attending a workshop I was giving on relationship skills. They were there because they quarreled constantly, they said--just that week they had argued bitterly over driving the kids to school. As best I...

Lisa Kogan tells all: her daughter was turning 3--so she set out to throw the party of a lifetime. In her dreams! Our columnist shoots for the stars and settles for spilled apple juice.(connections)
August 1, 2006... WIIEN MY DAUGHTER, JULIA, TURNED I on a rainy night in April, her grandfather bought her a chocolate cupcake from the A & P, which she dutifully mashed into her forehead as I sang "Happy Birthday to You" and her grandmother stood by with a...

Every move you make: your friend didn't say a word. She didn't have to. Her eyes told you everything. So did the tilt of her head and that fierce little nod. Deborah Tannen on how to read--and speak--body language.
August 1, 2006... "I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!" A MOTHER PROTESTS, WHEN HER DAUGHter accuses her of being critical. "Yeah," the daughter protests in turn, "but you had that look." * Facial expression is one of many nonverbal communication channels Allan and Barbara...

Friends to the end: her best friend was hooked up to machines, fighting for her life. Christy K. Mack had no idea what to do or say--until, somehow, she did.(connections)
August 1, 2006... ONE SUNNY SUMMER DAY SIX YEARS ago, my friend Susan turned to me and said, "Christy, you're going to take me there." She'd just been told she had leukemia, and she and her daughter had come to my house to talk. Sitting in my garden, the three...

Oprah and Gayle, uncensored: after 30 years of four-times-a-day phone calls, Oprah and Gayle sit down for a nice, long, startlingly honest chat--about their friendship, those tabloid rumors (who could forget that night in the Bahamas? Not the bellboy), what Oprah really thought at Gayle's wedding, and why they are still "more or less the same people." Lisa Kogan listens in.(BEST FRIENDS)(Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King)(Interview)
August 1, 2006... When the photographer begins clicking away, Oprah Winfrey and her best friend, Gayle King, will be impeccably cooperative. They'll pose, they'll percolate, they'll shine. They've been shot before. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] [ILLUSTRATION...

"I can't believe she did that!" Amazing acts of loyalty! Stinging insensitivity! Breathtaking kindness! Six writers put their fingers on the most stunning thing a friend ever did for (or to) them.
August 1, 2006... MELISSA BANK The Vicious Circle IN SEVENTH GRADE, I LEFT public school, and when I returned in eighth, all the girls who'd been my friends dropped me--Jill, Bella, JoAnn, Danna. I couldn't figure it out. I kept looking at them, like,...

Lucy and Ethel, behind the scenes: onscreen the two stars would take a pie in the face for each other any day. And off? Madelyn Pugh Davis, who helped create TV's daffiest duo, spills the beans.
August 1, 2006... THE FIRST TIME LUCILLE BALL MET Vivian Vance, at a script reading for I Love Lucy, she wasn't sure she was right for the role of Ethel Mertz. "You're too attractive," Lucy said. "I want a dumpy landlady wearing an old terry cloth robe and fuzzy...

Friend, interrupted: your parents move. You change schools. Your best friend gets lost in the shuffle. If you met her now--would you still like her? Patricia Volk goes in search of her long-lost soul mate.(personal narrative)
August 1, 2006... "KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ANITA?" I ask when I run into anyone from P.S. 9. Anita Lazar and I were best friends in elementary school. Then the summer after sixth-grade, I left our apartment in New York for camp, and when I came home, it was to a...

Kate's friends: they lost her when she was far too young. Then they found a way to keep her opinionated, funny, joyous spirit adventuring around the world. Amanda Robb reports.
August 1, 2006... KATE COMISKEY HAD AN EPILEPTIC DOG, A WICKED PINGPong game, a haircut she hated, students she adored, a boyfriend who was making her slightly crazy, and a loyal bunch of friends she'd been collecting all her life--which ended on November 9,...

How to help a friend ... whatever's troubling her, you want to make it better. But how? On the next pages, Jancee Dunn and Lesley Dormen round up the smartest, kindest advice on a range of situations. But first, Nancy Comiskey walks us through what is said to be the toughest challenge of all.
August 1, 2006... "IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO, JUST LET ME KNOW." Surely you've said that to someone going through a rough time; we all have. It's the sort of well-worn, well-meaning phrase that we utter reflexively before hanging up the phone, anxious to do...

Friends don't let friends ... go out in those Dame Edna glasses ... that alien haircolor ... those stripes! Okay, sometimes they do. When is telling the truth a favor and when should you just zip it? O's beauty director, Valerie Monroe, sorts it out.
August 1, 2006... IT WAS MY FIRST (AND COME TO THINK of it, last) time as a guest on the Oprah show. Put yourself in my place. Would you be nervous? Even if you knew Oprah a little and she had always been unfailingly kind and supportive? I'll answer for you:...

Jean crimes & misdemeanors: O solves the mystery of good fit; Baggy. Skintight. So low on the hips, it's illegal. With denim offenses on the rise, our rehab team stepped in, getting six women to stop punishing their bodies with the wrong pairs. An eight-page guide to nabbing the jeans of your dreams (when you do, buy two).
August 1, 2006... Veronica Frazier Sales associate [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] age 56 BEFORE When jeans fit Veronica's hips, they usually squeeze her waist--which is why she took scissors to...

Read 'em and eat: over eight years and 50-50!--cookbooks, the women of the Boiling Point club have been bonding over bearnaises, guffawing over ganoushes, and, in general, having a blast. Kelly Alexander reports on an unbeatable recipe for friendship.(Buyers guide)
August 1, 2006... SOME BOOK CLUBS PICK ONLY HISTORICAL NOVELS, others work bravely through the classics, and still others unrepentantly indulge in self-gratifying chick lit. The Boiling Point, a group of seven women based in the Washington, D.C., area, has taken...

Breathing space.
August 1, 2006... Slip into the warm waters of Philipsburg, St. Martin, and listen for the sea's murmurings under a boundless sapphire sky. PHOTOGRAPH BY MACDUFF EVERTON

The Laci effect: as horrible as it was, the killing of Laci Peterson wasn't a freak crime. It turns out that a leading cause of injury-related death among pregnant women today is murder. Who would want to harm an expectant young woman? And why? David France investigates.
August 1, 2006... The day of the sonogram was a big turning point for Lisa Underwood. Any apprehension the 34-year-old single mother felt about having a second child vanished when she saw her future daughter squirming on the screen. "We were both in love...

The belt way: get a better shape in seconds with the chic new cinches.(fashion)(Buyers guide)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... Breathe easy in an elasticized cinch that stretches to fit smoothly over hips. ALDO, $18; aldoshoes.com. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Narrow escape from safe and boring clothes: a wild animal-print belt. ANN TAYLOR, $42; 800-342-5266. ...

Never let them see you shine: when it's hot and sticky--and you want to look cool and unsticky--these oil-blotting beauty products will go to the matte for you.(beauty products)(Buyers guide)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... YOU'VE ALREADY TRADED sneakers for flip-flops and turtlenecks for tank tops, but you also need to rotate your beauty products this time of year, says Ranella Hirsch, MD, a dermatologist in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and vice president of the...

Read 'Em and eat: the boiling point club's greatest hits: curried sea scallops, ginger-zinged shrimp, fluffy rice, colorful salads, a dreamy peach pie ... (for story, see page 218).
August 1, 2006... Fresh Corn Salad Adapted from The Barefoot Contessa Cookbook (Clarkson Potter), by Ina Garten To avoid scattering kernels all over your kitchen, cut the cobs in the sink--cleanup is a breeze. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] 8 ears...

Shop guide (all prices are approximate).(Buyers guide)
August 1, 2006... COVER/HERE WE GO Catherine Malandrino cardigan, $345; 212-929-8710. !IT Jeans, $68; 213-747-2272. Graff hoops; 212-355-9292. Franck Muller watch; 212-463-8898. Bottega Veneta bracelet; 877-362-1715. Ionescu ring, Bergdorf Goodman, NYC;...

What I know for sure.(friendship)
August 1, 2006... I THOUGHT I KNEW A LOT about friendship until 1 spent 11 days traveling across the country in a Chevy Impala with my best friend, Gayle King. We've been close since she was 21 and I was 22, and have been through a lot together: my previous bad...