The Saturday Evening Post articles from July 2008

The Saturday Evening Post archives from July 2008

About these thinking doctors.(Letter to the editor)
July 1, 2008... Re: "How Doctors Think," May/ June 2008: My wife and I belong to an HMO. When my wife got to 70 years old, she had consistent abdominal pain. Our doctor kept giving prescriptions for various pain relief. This went on until she was 80. ...

Mother's wish.(Letter to the editor)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... This is truly from the heart of an 84-year-old mother asking for help for her 100 percent disabled son since 1969. His name is Jack--he is single, was living alone until several floodings of his home in upstate New York. He had to come here to...

The wheel thing.(Letter to the editor)
July 1, 2008... I was delighted with your article "The Wheel Thing." After major knee surgery and repeated office visits, my knee surgeon finally said, "Next time you call me, we're going to replace that knee." My physical therapist, however, had other ideas....

Persevere.(Letter to the editor)
July 1, 2008... Thank you for your article about Margaret A. Johnson, "The Back-To-School Boom," in the March/April 2008 issue. Although older citizens were not encouraged to enter universities or go back to graduate school, in 1977 I decided to return to...

Bar the door.(Letter to the editor)
July 1, 2008... In your March/April issue, you had an excellent article entitled "Protecting Your Home." One area, however, was not covered. Recently when talking with a local police office, I discovered the patio door is a favorite place for burglars to enter...

A great cartoonist remembered.(Ted Key)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] 1912-2008 One night in 1943, cartoonist Ted Key had a dream about a bossy, impertinent maid. In the morning, he drew a cartoon and sent it to The Saturday Evening Post, where it was accepted for publication....

Keep cursive.(Letter to the editor)
July 1, 2008... Regarding the article "Do We Really Need Cursive Writing?." in your 2008 March/April issue on page 34: Absolutely! Some young people can't even read or write in cursive. This doesn't mean they aren't smart. They are extremely smart in...

The cover issue.(Letter to the editor)
July 1, 2008... To your reader's complaint of your covers. Please just turn front cover to back and scotch-tape. Or, just tear it off! Then enjoy all the wonderful information between both covers. The contents far outweigh the covers. I can hardly wait for...

Iverd model.(Letter to the editor)
July 1, 2008... I was told by my father, John R. Dear (retired Lt. Col. USAF), that he had submitted a letter to you regarding Eugene Iverd. I went out and happily found a copy on the newsstand and read his letter with interest. However, he was too "shy" to...

New reader.(Letter to the editor)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Growing up in Philadelphia in the 1950s, of course I was aware of The Saturday Evening Post. I even had a one-line entry in one of the Post's sister Curtis Publishing Company magazines printed at Independence Square, Jack and Jill, in April or...

A streetcar named progress?(Now and Then)
July 1, 2008... Americans have long had a love affair with what the December 30, 1899, issue of the Post called "the going away and getting back habit." In short, we like to travel. But we also like to have some assurance that we will return from whence we...

"Omega" man: dogs are pack animals--like teenagers. They expect a dominant authority.
July 1, 2008... Dogs like to snarl at me. Occasionally, one will even grab my pant cuff and try to drag me wherever dogs take things they want to gnaw. When I was a child and not yet aware dogs hate me, I was bitten a few times while trying to make friends...

Tiger's greatest shot: he and his ailing father had never attended a major. This would be their last opportunity to do something like this together.(Tiger Woods)
July 1, 2008... We knew something was wrong with my father when he started to slur his words. In mid-sentence he would lose his thought and become frustrated. At first we dismissed his confusion as another indignity of old age. We finished his sentences for...

Hands-only CPR: skip the mouth-to-mouth breathing--experts now recommend hands-only CPR for sudden cardiac arrest in adults.(Heart Beat)(cardiopulmonary resuscitation)
July 1, 2008... When someone collapse of sudden cardiac arrest, bystanders and even loved ones are often too scared or unsure of themselves to try to revive them. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] The result: Only one quarter to one third of out-of-hospital...

Search quirks.(Comic)(Cartoon)
July 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] "I've just accessed your school records. You have a lot of nerve complaining about my grades." [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] "He's been bred to hunt down remotes." [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] "He handles...

Ingrid: Ingrid Bergman, A Personal Biography.(Book review)
July 1, 2008... Ingrid: Ingrid Bergman, A Personal Biography by Charlotte Chandler, 334 pages, Applause Theatre & Cinema Books, $16.95 [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] When filmmaker David O. Selz nick first met Ingrid Bergman, he asked her to take off her...

I Thought We Were Making Movies, Not History.(Book review)
July 1, 2008... I Thought We Were Making Movies, Not History by Walter Mirisch, 449 pages, The University of Wisconsin Press, $29.95 [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] To the public mind, Hollywood producers are for the most part nondescript characters,...

Wasp smackdown: some insects you can work with, but wasps, never.
July 1, 2008... I have always gotten along well with insects due to a mutual understanding: They stay outside the house and I let them live. They come inside the house and, well, it's not pretty. A swarm of wasps tested this understanding by building a...

Go to go.(Living Well: LOOK GOOD, FEEL GOOD)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... When planning your next trip for business or pleasure, consider the following items as selected by Post editors. 1. The Doze Alert device from ActiveForever warns drowsy drivers that they need to stop and rest. Worn over the ear, it makes a...

Planting happiness.(Living Well: LOOK GOOD, FEEL GOOD)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Illinois horticulturist Tony Fulmer offers his top picks for houseplants to make us happier--and healthier, too: 1) Plants release up to 97 percent of the water we provide them, thus increasing the humidity in dry homes. Schefflera is...

Brighten your smile.(Living Well: LOOK GOOD, FEEL GOOD)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Natural teeth whiteners may be as close as the local produce market. Dr. Elisa Mello, a cosmetic and restorative dentist based in New York, suggests the following foods to help scrub away stains and brighten teeth....

Website of the month.(Living Well: LOOK GOOD, FEEL GOOD)(CaringBridge.com)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... At CaringBridge.com, users create online journal and photo entries to update friends and family about loved ones coping with a serious injury or illness. The nonprofit site also features interactive message boards. Funded by donations, the...

Amazing omega-3s: restoring dietary essential fatty acids will dramatically improve mental and physical health around the world.(Interview)
July 1, 2008... In their laboratory at the University of Minnesota in the late 1920s, researchers George and Mildred Burr made a discovery whose health impact is only now reverberating around the world. Working with rats, the Burrs encountered a new deficiency...

Back pain: exercising your options: exercises that stretch and strengthen the muscles of your abdomen and spine can help prevent debilitating and painful back problems.
July 1, 2008... Whether dull and constant or sudden and sharp, low-back pain affects eight out of ten Americans at some point during their lives, according to the National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal and Skin Diseases. As millions know, back...

Flowers for all occasions.
July 1, 2008... Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities.--FRANK LLOYD WRIGHT [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] "What are those for?" my husband, Dan, asks as I walk in the kitchen with a bunch of tulips. "For me." ...

Healing humor: research is showing that laughter is good medicine.
July 1, 2008... It was a remarkable case, a generation or so ago. Norman Cousins, the editor and researcher, found laughter to be a cure for a serious disease he had contracted. Cousins was editor of the Saturday Review of Literature. He was diagnosed in...

Broccoli: reversing aging immune systems.(Food in the News)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Cruciferous vegetables help prevent cancer, and scientists are learning more about how they work. When UCLA researchers treated older mice With sulforaphane, the chemical found in cruciferous vegetables, their immune response increased to the...

Tomatoes: ripe with benefits.(Food in the News)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Trying to lower your LDL cholesterol? You might consider switching to tomato juice at breakfast. In a recent study, Finnish subjects reduced their LDL cholesterol level by 12.9 percent by adding 13.5 ounces of tomato juice and one ounce of...

Alzheimer's: another reason to avoid soft drinks.(Food in the News)(Case study)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... To study the possible effects of consuming high-sugar soft drinks, researchers with the American Society for Biochemistry and Molecular Biology fed a 10 percent sugar-water solution to mice. After 25 weeks, the sugar-fed mice, bred to develop...

Fish or Fish Oil Capsules?(Omega-3 Update)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Q. Which is better for getting your omega-3 fatty acids: eating oily fish (i.e., salmon and albacore tuna) or taking fish oil capsules? To help find out, researchers at Kansas City's Saint Luke's Mid America Heart Institute asked subjects...

Food for mood.(Omega-3 Update)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Eating fish might improve your personality. University of Pittsburgh researchers found that people with low blood levels of omega-3 polyunsaturated acids were more likely to report symptoms of moderate depression,...

Deal or no deal? Around the country, workers are facing tough decisions. If your company offers a buyout, what do you need to know before making the decision?
July 1, 2008... Joyce Stone, 58, believes she made the right decision when General Motors offered her a bonus late last year to retire after 30 years employment as an electrician at its Marion, Indiana, plant: She took a lump sum, keeping full retirement and...

Are we retiring people too early? In an excerpt from a 1959 Saturday Evening Post article, the writer challenges retirement at 65 and accurately forecasts problems with pension plan funding.(Excerpt)
July 1, 2008... Perhaps the most important factor to complicate the basic idea of compulsory retirement at 60 or 65 is a comparatively recent phenomenon--the exploding population of oldsters. During the past half century a hidden revolution--considered more...

Mornings with Meredith: replacing Katie Couric as Matt Lauer's sidekick on the Today show was a risky career move for veteran journalist Meredith Vieira. Would the public accept her? Would the ratings hold? Would she ever get used to the 3:00 a.m. wake-up call?(Interview)(Cover story)
July 1, 2008... Meredith Vieira's alarm clock, strategically placed on husband Richard's side of the bed, blasts forth at 2:30 a.m. She allows herself thirty minutes of extra doze time before reluctantly padding downstairs to where Jasper, Felipe, and Sweet...

Calcium score and plaque buildup.(Heart Health: Ask Dr Zipes: A noted cardiologist answers your questions)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Q: Recently, my calcium score was around 630, and my left anterior descending artery was 50 to 70 percent blocked. A thallium stress test was normal, so my doctor is taking a wait-and-see attitude. What might be done further, and what is the...

Not all cardiomyopathies are inherited.(Heart Health: Ask Dr. Zipes: A noted cardiologist answers your questions)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Q: All who knew my husband thought he was in great health. But, at age 63, my husband died suddenly while hunting. The cause of death was probable ventricular cardiac arrhythmia, secondary to idiopathic dilated cardiomyopathy. Now I'm waiting...

Good BP control may help.(Heart Health: Ask Dr. Zipes: A noted cardiologist answers your questions)(blood pressure)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Q: I had a heart attack in 2006 after many years of taking meds for high blood pressure. I'm now 76 and my doctor recently told me I had a "thick heart." Can you tell me what this means? How dangerous is it, and what does it portend for the...

On ear creases and heart disease.(Heart Health: Ask Dr. Zipes: A noted cardiologist answers your questions)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Q: Is there any relationship between a crease in the earlobe and heart disease? The relationship between earlobe crease and heart disease, primarily coronary disease (heart attacks), was first suggested more than thirty years ago and has...

Chest pressure could be angina.(Heart Health: Ask Dr. Zipes: A noted cardiologist answers your questions)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Q: Every few days to two or three weeks I feel pressure (not pain) in my chest. At the same time, my lower jaw and neck aches. The episodes occur when I am sitting or lying in bed. I have mild CHF and A-fib. I've taken antihypertensives for...

Reader has good prognosis.(Heart Health: Ask Dr. Zipes: A noted cardiologist answers your questions)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Q: I am 60 years old and get chest pains all the time. No heart problems showed up on EKGs, echocardiograms, stress tests, or an angiogram. My BP runs 150/90 at the doctor's office and lower at home. I have acid reflux. Any advice will be...

Update on medical thriller.(Heart Health: Ask Dr. Zipes: A noted cardiologist answers your questions)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Q: In a previous article, you mention the heroine in your medical thriller, Francine. Can you tell me the title of the book? I read a story several years ago called "Stolen Hearts" that was certainly a thriller. I would love to purchase copies...

Pulmonary hypertension.(Heart Health: Ask Dr. Zipes: A noted cardiologist answers your questions)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Q: Can you please give me some information about pulmonary hypertension? What are the symptoms and treatment options? Pulmonary hypertension refers to a disease entity characterized by increased blood pressure in the pulmonary arteries to...

Surviving SCA at home. (Saving time saves lives: Update on early-defibrillation programs and emerging technology.(cardiac arrest)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Surviving SCA at Home: Results from the international Home Automatic External Defibrillator Trial (HAT) suggest that AEDs and CPR are equally helpful for treating victims who are stricken by cardiac arrest at home. Two factors may help explain...

Policy news.(Saving time saves lives: Update on early-defibrillation programs and emerging technology)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Policy News: A new AHA report identifies critical gaps in current data systems related to cardiac arrests that occur outside of the hospital and recommends ways to address the problem. High priority initiatives include classifying these events...

Reinventing date night: to keep the home fires burning, explore novel ways to reignite the excitement and passion of your early courtship.
July 1, 2008... Long-married couples often schedule a weekly "date night"--a regular evening out with friends or at a favorite restaurant to strengthen their marital bond. But brain and behavior researchers say many couples are going about date night all...

Spearheading the longevity revolution: sounding a call to action, a renowned expert on aging examines the health, economic, and social challenges and opportunities of growing older in today's society.(Robert Butler's 'The Longevity Revolution: The Benefits & Challenges of Living a Long Life')(Interview)
July 1, 2008... As people live longer than ever, tough questions surface about the impact of aging on our population as a whole. Can we afford old age? How can we make the extra years productive personally and rewarding for society? Will Social Security and...

Beyond my wildest dreams! Be kind to your poverty-stricken friends; you never know when they might hit the lottery jackpot.
July 1, 2008... I just read about a truck driver who hit the lottery for $250 million. Whooopee! No more fighting traffic. No more trying to stay awake on those overnight hauls. No more driving through rain, sleet and snow to meet delivery deadlines. ...

Don't try this at home! Post cover illustrators were authorities on what not to do in just about any situation.(THE AMERICAN ILLUSTRATORS HALL OF FAME)
July 1, 2008... Benjamin Franklin said, "The most exquisite folly is made from wisdom spun too fine." We're not sure what that means, but we suspect it has something to do with our present theme. Post illustrators had an eye for the good idea gone too far,...

Psoriasis: more than skin deep: for the seven million Americans living with psoriasis, new hope is emerging as research findings turn into medical advances.(Interview)
July 1, 2008... For decades, researchers have known that psoriasis--a chronic skin condition characterized by thick, red, scaly plaques that itch and bleed--can significantly affect overall quality of life. Now, dermatologists are finding a link between...

The great flag: the colossal symbol could inspire and bond people in special ways; its Phoenix-like story is one of joy and sadness.
July 1, 2008... As the 52 newly freed Iran hostages flew into Andrews Air Force Base in 1981, their pilot made a special "fly-by" so they could gaze down upon a welcome sight, a huge flag unfurled alongside the runway below to greet them. The Great American...

A man and his vision: J. Lloyd "Coach" Tomer has a dream--to build his company, YTB, into more than just the world's largest travel agency.(Biography)
July 1, 2008... Although J. Lloyd Tomer may be the chairman of the board to a publicly traded company, you wouldn't know it upon meeting him for the first time. Underneath the easygoing demeanor, he harbors a powerful vision to change the world. And it all...

The DNA age: technology is ushering in new tools to break the genetic code, but can it help you outsmart your destiny?(Deoxyribonucleic acid)
July 1, 2008... The exploration of the human genome has long been relegated to elite scientists in research laboratories. But that is about to change. An infant industry is capitalizing on the plunging cost of genetic testing technology to offer any individual...

Great expectations.(Cartoon)
July 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] "I've only got about 16k of memory left." [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] "The good news is that you're a fixer-upper." [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] "The book How to Lose 50 Pounds in a Week is in our fiction...

What to do when your contractor lets you down: don't panic. There are a number of ways that a homeowner can resolve a dispute.
July 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Gary bought a new home, but he wanted an addition and a garage built before he moved in. He found Allan's name in the local newspaper. Allan seemed knowledgeable, and bid the work at 40 percent less than the other...

Where in the world.(historic sites)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Where else can you find pictures of charming old houses, gigantic footwear, and the ruins of an ancient civilization on one page? The answers to the questions below are on page 95. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] 1. This huge concrete set of...

Can you name this picture?(limerick contest)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] ... contest: The Saturday Evening Post will award $100 to the author of the winning limerick for this picture. Your limerick must contain exactly five lines. Send your entry on a postcard. Entries will not be...

Where do you think you are?(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATIONS OMITTED] East, West, North, or South, each of the areas above appears on the map of a single state or province. Can you identify these locations? If you find the game too easy (but you won't), try to guess this issue's...

You be the judge.(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Jim, angry because frail widow Abigail drove his cattle off her land, put his husky young wife up to beating her. The wife obliged by breaking a stick over Abigail. Jim, standing by unconcernedly, warned a neighbor...

The perfect squelch.(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] The tourist group had just left Texas and entered Mexico when a stop was made for dinner. As always, Mr. Hardentop, a born menu analyzer, fussed endlessly over the choice of food. While others in the group sat in...

Glaucoma and central corneal thickness.(MEDICAL MAILBOX)
July 1, 2008... Dear Dr. SerVaas, I was diagnosed with glaucoma about three years ago at age 65. Only last month was my corneal thickness measured. It was discovered to be thin, which necessitated adding four points to my eye pressure for a more accurate...

Blood donation.(MEDICAL MAILBOX)
July 1, 2008... Dear Dr. SerVaas, After I gave blood at a local drive, I received a letter saying that they had "identified a red cell antibody called anti-big-K (Kell)." The letter added that having the antibody had no bearing on my health, but may be...

Seeing flashes after eye surgery.(MEDICAL MAILBOX)
July 1, 2008... Dear Dr. SerVaas, After cataract surgery on both eyes, I began to see flashes of light with the left eye, usually only once every day or two. My ophthalmologist could not find any problem with the retina, and since his exam I only see much...

Lichen sclerosus.(MEDICAL MAILBOX)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Dear Dr. SerVaas, I have consulted several gynecologists regarding a problem called lichen sclerosus. I have also had a biopsy done due to constant vulvar burning. Pills and creams do not seem to work. I would appreciate any information on...

Help for pelvic floor problems.(MEDICAL MAILBOX)
July 1, 2008... Dear Dr. SerVaas, I have a pelvic floor muscle injury that occurred in January of 2006. I continue with my struggle to locate a physician who understands my particular injury. My hope is that you or one of your many readers will know of a...

She needs help for heel pain.(MEDICAL MAILBOX)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Dear Dr. SerVaas, I have had heel spurs for two years. Cortisone shots, ultrasound treatment, and arch supports have offered little or no relief from the pain. I have also used heel lifts, cold gel, and every imaginable exercise for...

HDL and Omega-3s: the "good" fats.(MEDICAL MAILBOX)(high density lipoprotein)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Dear Dr. SerVaas, In the Jan./Feb. 2008 copy of The Saturday Evening Post, you wrote about fish oil supplements and triglycerides. I was wondering what omega-3s do for HDL cholesterol. Is there anything that will raise the HDL besides...

Gesundheit.(MEDICAL MAILBOX)(runny nose)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Dear Dr. SerVaas, My nose runs whenever I eat. Also, I sneeze at least five but no more than nine times in a row. I've never found an explanation. Will you help me? Donn Ashcroft Fremont, Michigan We suspect that our genes...

Check labels for vitamin K.(MEDICAL MAILBOX)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Dear Dr. SerVaas, In answer to Alan Timm's inquiry in the March/April issue about multivitamins without K, I have a suggestion. Go to a health food/supplement store and explain your needs. Ask about the prices. These products come in a...

Tart and tangy.(MEDICAL MAILBOX)(effect of sour foods on heart patients)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Dear Dr. SerVaas, I've enjoyed things that tasted sour since I was a kid. Now I'm 86 years old and come and go as I please. My wife has a fit when I drink pickle juice left in the jar. Is there anything that is not good for me in pickles...

Hard to swallow.(MEDICAL MAILBOX)(achalasia)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Dear Dr. SerVaas, For years I was told I had acid reflux, but a recent motility study showed that my esophagus is not working. Two prescribed medicines provided no relief. The one thing that does help is to lay down flat shortly after the...

Microwave cooking preserves nutrients.(MEDICAL MAILBOX)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Dear Dr. SerVaas, Recently, I heard brief remarks on television cooking shows to the effect that heating foods in a microwave oven destroys much of the food's nutritional value. I am trying to find someone who will research the facts and...

Persistent perspiration.(MEDICAL MAILBOX)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Dear Dr. SerVaas, For the past five or six years, my mother has had sweating episodes during which she perspires across her upper back, shoulders, chest, and the crooks of her arms. She becomes chilled and quite uncomfortable. The problem...

From the pharmacy.
July 1, 2008... * Some Tablets Contain Lactose: To B.B. from Tacoma, Washington: About twenty percent of prescription drugs and six percent of over-the-counter drugs have lactose in the tablets. Very small amounts of lactose are used in the drugs, and they...

Shelling it out.(POST SCRIPTS)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Since the lobster is fertile only every other year, if the female says to her mate, "I've got a headache, my dear," it teaches us a significant lesson about why the price is so high at the delicatessen.

Age-old advice.(POST SCRIPTS)
July 1, 2008... The best advice I have As years begin to mount: Do not count your years, Just try to make them count.

The nitty-gritty.(POST SCRIPTS)(Poem)
July 1, 2008... The nitty-gritty There are few foods that I don't like, though there are some that don't like me. Corn grits inspire my hunger strike, and other diners should agree. All through the South, this...

Weather or not?(POST SCRIPTS)(Poem)
July 1, 2008... The barometric pressures and The wind's precise velocity, Along with atmospheric changes, Are given with precocity. To details of occluded fronts, I listen to my sorrow; When all I'm desperate to know Is,...

All worked out.(POST SCRIPTS)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... I've always had trouble keeping a job. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. Then I worked as a lumberjack, but couldn't hack it--so they gave me the axe. I tried to work at a...

Working out some issues.(POST SCRIPTS)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... "Exercise to stay in shape" Is advice that I'm really In doubt of The reason I'm here Should be perfectly clear... I've a shape that I want to work out of.

Three little words.(POST SCRIPTS)
July 1, 2008... After rubbing my wife's back, I can now say it is easy to describe forty years of marriage in three words: "Intimate to Liniment!"

Something fishy.(POST SCRIPTS)(Short story)
July 1, 2008... A young boy went fishing for the first time with his grandfather. "What's that wire on your pole for, Grandpa?" Grandpa thought he would have a little fun with the boy. "That's my telephone line that I use to call the fish," he...

Crime and punishment.(POST SCRIPTS)(Brief article)
July 1, 2008... Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim? Defendant: No, I did not. Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury? Defendant: Yes, I do. And they're a lot better than the penalty for murder. --Phil Jackson