Marriage Partnership articles from September 2003

Marriage Partnership archives from September 2003

A living legacy.(secrets of long marriages)(Brief Article)(Editorial)
September 22, 2003... A few years before my husband, Scott, and I were married, I was visiting my grandparents. My grandfather had to work that Saturday morning and would be leaving around 6 A.M. For some odd reason--call it providence?--I awoke early. I got up to...

Mythical marriages?(Letters)(Letter to the Editor)
September 22, 2003... "Will Your Romance Last?" (Summer 2003) was wonderful. Too many of us have these mythical ideas of what a marriage should be. We're all caught up in some kind of fairy tale that isn't real and have no balance in our relationships. Audrey...

Nimwitted men? Not!(Letters)(Letter to the Editor)
September 22, 2003... Here's how the McBurneys ("Real Sex") counseled a woman with a "hygiene-challenged" husband: "Say, 'Darling, I have a problem I can't seem to solve and I really need your help.' That usually appeals to a man's need to be a fixer of things not...

Outside the box.(Letters)(Letter to the Editor)
September 22, 2003... For busy couples, "Devotions in Disguise" was a great example of creatively thinking outside the box to experience what God has promised us. Reading how other couples have grown spiritually encourages us that we can do the same. Wynona...

Wives at war.(Letters)(Letter to the Editor)
September 22, 2003... The article "Separated by War" seemed geared to the wives left behind. I'm a wife who was sent, and it was the longest I've been away from my family. I'm proud of being an Army soldier, but the pangs of loneliness ached. My husband suddenly...

Hope for the weary.(Letters)(Letter to the Editor)
September 22, 2003... What courage it took Amanda Rankin to tell her story ("I Wanted to Kill Him"). I went through a depression 20 years ago after a drop in income, and I even contemplated suicide. But a counselor worked with my husband and me, and we fell in love...

Speak up, men!(Letters)(Letter to the Editor)
September 22, 2003... I've read all of your articles from 1996 to 2003. I found that of the 44 articles dealing with questions from readers, 30 questions were from women and 14 from men. My interpretation is simply that men aren't talking enough. If men make up 50...

The happy facts.(Couple Minutes)(positive impacts of marriage)(Brief Article)
September 22, 2003... So you think marriage is a pretty good deal? You're right--and the numbers agree. According to the Chicago Sun-Times: * Married people are healthier. Married men drink less, smoke less, drive drunk less, and speed less than single men of...

Silent sins: the pride of your heart has deceived you ... (Obadiah 3).(Couples Devotional)(Brief Article)
September 22, 2003... Your wife came home early from work with the flu. By bedtime, she seemed to be feeling better, but in the middle of the night you hear her in the bathroom. You know if you lie quietly, she'll think you're asleep. What's the harm in staying in...

You said it!(Couple Minutes)(marriage)(Brief Article)
September 22, 2003... "Stay healthy and stay married. And other than having a guy come over the top of a hill and hit me with a van, I've been able to do both." --Stephen King, horror writer, on how he stays productive "Marriage is one long conversation,...

Light your fires.(Couple Minutes)(candles)(Brief Article)
September 22, 2003... It's no secret that candles add to a romantic atmosphere. Next time you light up, follow these tips: * Put your candles in the fridge for a few hours. They'll burn more slowly and evenly. * Nix wax drip by soaking your candles in salty...

Getting in tune.(Couple Minutes)(Aaron Eddy)(Brief Article)
September 22, 2003... Steven Curtis Chapman (page 36) isn't the only Christian musician writing songs about marriage. Aaron Eddy, a smooth-voiced choir veteran and worship leader in Evanston, Illinois, has put together a CD called I Love You... Always. Aaron says...

MarriagePartnership.com surveys: out of love?(Couple Minutes)(Brief Article)
September 22, 2003... In a recent MP online survey, here's how almost 1,700 people responded to the question, "Have you ever experienced a season in your marriage when love ran dry?": Yes, I'm in one now 30% Yes, it lasted about a week 4% Yes, it...

Snapshot.(Couple Minutes)(Damaris Quarles, Shelton Quarles)(Interview)
September 22, 2003... Damaris Quarles isn't impressed that her husband is a football star. What she likes about Shelton, middle linebacker for the Super Bowl Champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers, is his commitment to Christ--and his sensitivity. Married for three years,...

Saving time.(Couple Minutes)(how to save money)(Brief Article)
September 22, 2003... Seven ways to save money now. 1. Talk cheap. If your bank charges you to speak with a live teller, find a bank that doesn't. 2. Cushion the blow. Try to keep at least three months' living expenses on hand so you won't rack up credit...

Tandem teamwork.(That Thing We Do; cycling)(Brief Article)
September 22, 2003... My pores drip with sweat and a breeze cools my cheeks as I pedal up the hill. A tall middle-aged gentleman says to my husband on the front of our tandem bicycle, "Hey, she's not pedaling." Both Randall and I laugh politely, but I want to...

Zip it!(Couple Minutes)(Ogden Nash - quotation)(Brief Article)
September 22, 2003... To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up. --Ogden Nash, American writer (1902-1971)

The power of porn.(Couple Minutes)
September 22, 2003... Many MP readers responded to our recent article, "The Appeal of Porn: Why Men Get Hooked," by Louis McBurney (Fall 2002). The article (www.christianitytoday.com/ mp/2002/003/10.54.html) included a sidebar titled, "What Wives Can Do," by Melissa...

Divorce-proof your marriage.(Between the Covers)(Gary and Barbara Rosberg, marriage counselors)(Interview)
September 22, 2003... Three years ago, Gary and Barbara Rosberg were leading a marriage conference in California. During a break, Gary had a thought he's convinced came straight from God: What if God is calling us to help divorce-proof America? Gary and Barbara...

Snore no more.(Couple Minutes)(SnoreStopper)(Brief Article)
September 22, 2003... So, you think you've tried everything to get your spouse to quit snoring--including shoving him off the edge of the bed? Now there may be help: the SnoreStopper. This device, which looks like an overgrown wristwatch, uses "natural biofeedback...

News flash: kissing is good!(Couple Minutes)(Brief Article)
September 22, 2003... From the as-if-you-didn't-already-know department: James G. Pfaus, Ph.D., an associate professor at the Center for Studies in Behavioral Neurobiology at Concordia University in Montreal, has done some serious scientific research on the art...

Sharpen your marriage skills!(Couple Minutes)
September 22, 2003... Check out the Smalley Relationship Center's fall simulcast seminar, Love Romance, & Sex... It's All God's Idea! on October 24-25. You can hear great speakers including Gary & Greg Smalley, Dr. Kevin Leman, Dr. Clifford & Joyce Penner, and...

I was a sports widow: I didn't realize how much I'd compete with football for my husband's attention!(Starting out: what I wish someone had told me)
September 22, 2003... We interrupt this marriage to bring you football season." This is the quote monogrammed on a pillow my mom gave me six months into my marriage. Having lived with a chronic golfer her whole married life, she knew what I was going to learn being...

He isn't a Christian.(Couple Counsel)
September 22, 2003... Q. My husband and I weren't Christians when we married. But I'm a Christian now, and he isn't. He doesn't like that I believe in God. We seem to butt heads all the time and our marriage is tense. I'd love for my husband to accept Jesus. What...

My husband has lost interest.(Couple Counsel)
September 22, 2003... Q. My husband and I just celebrated our first anniversary--but the honeymoon ended long ago. He's so detached. He doesn't want to talk, we spend most of our time doing separate things, we argue more than ever, and he's lost interest in me...

Second place to her father?(Couple Counsel)
September 22, 2003... Q. My wife's 92-year-old father moved in with us three years ago after his wife died. While it's a blessing for my father-in-law and my wife, I'm struggling. My selfish side sees me as second place to her father. We have little private time and...

Is separation okay?(Couple Counsel)
September 22, 2003... Q. My wife and I are struggling with our marriage and we're just about ready to call it quits. We're both Christians and we know God hates divorce. But is there ever a time when separation is okay? A. First, ask yourself what you want to...

Unsettled spats: when their arguments were going nowhere, Keith and Cheryl Gatling knew they needed to find a way to resolve their squabbles.(Work it out: real couples, real solutions)
September 22, 2003... Keith's Side: I'm Slow to Respond Whenever Cheryl and I would disagree about something, she'd insist on talking it out. But when she talked she gave me too much information to process and respond to at one time. I'm an analytical kind of...

Kissing your family goodbye: what it really means to "leave and cleave".(Soul to soul: where faith and marriage meet)
September 22, 2003... I can still see the look on Marian's face. Her husband, Dan, had recently left her for another woman, and she was trying to understand what had happened and what to do next. As Marian's counselor, I asked about her husband's family history....

Go ahead. Get closer ... With these 8 easy habits of the heart.
September 22, 2003... Every married couple has their little habits. Maybe it's eating cereal together in front of the late TV news. Or reading the paper on the front porch on Saturday mornings. Or ordering Chinese food every New Year's Eve. Every day, every...

Married without children: as our pregnancy tests kept coming up negative, the joy of sex faded, turning it into a mere quest for procreation. Would we ever find that passion again?
September 22, 2003... The sex life of an infertile couple sometimes seems as if it's a matter of public interest. At least that was our experience. Sonja and I had been married for five years and had children, an immediate red flag to nosy people we met at church....

Happily even after ... Decade after decade these four couples are still going strong. Here's why.
September 22, 2003... "She Was Always My Anchor" Ted and Barbara Boyd Married: April 11, 1953 Hometown: Indianapolis Children: 1 daughter, 2 sons Grandchildren: 15 Ted Boyd wanted to make a lasting first impression on Barbara. They were...

When marriage feels like war! The greatest joys in our marriage don't come without a fight.
September 22, 2003... The war started long before Mary Beth and I met. I grew up in a home buzzing with open, honest, spill-your-guts conversations. And when there was an argument, we talked it out--even yelled it out--fill, by golly, we reached a resolution......

7 great dates for less than $20.
September 22, 2003... 1 Take a trip to the bookstore. This is a date for the outdoorsman or interior decorator, cook or computer buff. Whatever your interest, you'll find it here. If you didn't get to the beach this year, head to the travel section and dream....

Put a lid on it! Listen up, guys, to this little-known secret: marital harmony starts in the bathroom.
September 22, 2003... It's often said a man is the ruler of his domain, lord of his castle. And for the single man, that's true. The toilet seat can always stay up, laundry day is based on the underarm sniff test, and eating ravioli directly from the can is simply...

Redefining romance: when the candlelight dinners are replaced by soccer games and Cub scout meetings, just where does the flame come from?
September 22, 2003... When David and I married 11 years ago, he was looking forwards to years of candlelight dinners and romantic restaurants. Well, he was half-right. We've had a few candlelight dinners all right, but mostly they consisted of hot dogs and...

It's the little things that count: nobody notices those behind-the-scenes good deeds of unsung spouses--until now.
September 22, 2003... The ring of evil green lights glimmered through midnight blackness from the ceiling of the hotel room. I held my breath, not daring to move a muscle. One minute. Two. An hour. An eternity. Finally, I could bear it no I gently nudged my...

Don't say you're sorry: surprise! "Sorry" may not be the best way to end an argument.
September 22, 2003... Arguments were an everyday occurrence in Mark Baxter's * marriage. Out of frustration he came to me for marital counseling because he'd hit a brick wall trying to communicate with his wife, Jill. "I don't get it," he complained. "Even when...

When your sex drives don't match.
September 22, 2003... As a marriage therapist for two decades, I've seen what happens to marriages when one spouse has little or no desire for sex the other yearns for it desperately. Take a look at this letter I received. Dear Michele: Please...

The ripple effect: we were drowning in anger and stress until we began swimming.
September 22, 2003... Our house should have been quarantined. We were getting sick of each other, and I mean that literally. Our stress level had made us all physically ill. Because of changes in our finances and lifestyle, our marriage disintegrated. Even...

Massaging the truth: my husband said his trips to massage parlors were innocent, but I wasn't buying it.(Back from the brink: true story of how a marriage was saved)
September 22, 2003... When my husband, Bob *, started working late, going in on weekends, and staying in Manhattan overnight to avoid his 90-minute commute, I became frustrated with how little time we had together. He was always too tired to do things with me, or to...

Does age affect sex?(Real Sex)(Brief Article)
September 22, 2003... Q. My husband and I have been married 16 years and we have a good marriage. But since my husband turned 40, his lovemaking has really slowed down. Is this common? A. A sexual slowdown is common in males. It may come sooner or later and may...

She's overweight.(Real Sex)(Brief Article)
September 22, 2003... Q. My wife has gained 25 pounds since we've been married. I don't get as excited just looking at her as before, and find myself not making advances. I also compare her to other, thinner women. My wife's aware of my feelings, and is trying to...

I had an affair.(Real Sex)
September 22, 2003... Q. It happened more than two years ago. It was a one-night thing and I confessed everything to my husband. I know I hurt his self-worth and sexuality. But he's still unable to forgive me. To be honest I'm not sure why I allowed the affair to...

My husband is disabled.(Real Sex)(Brief Article)
September 22, 2003... Q. My husband was disabled in a bad accident and now he's in constant pain. So we haven't had sex in a long time. I love my husband and want to turn him on. I've exhausted every option: dressing up, taking a vacation, marriage counseling,...

I believe in you! Those magic words work wonders--especially in the marathon of marriage.(Ever after: marriage for a lifetime)
September 22, 2003... I've hit the wall! That was my first thought when I felt an intense tingling throughout my body. Not now! I thought. I've still got eight miles to go! I was running my first marathon, and I was determined to finish. But at the 18-mile...