Marriage Partnership articles from March 2003

Marriage Partnership archives from March 2003

A nagging alternative. (From The Editors).(Editorial)
March 22, 2003... Last night a friend and I were talking about how our spouses sometimes just don't seem to be on our wavelength or timeframe. My friend and her husband had been trying to get a bank loan to pay off some debts, but she was frustrated that he was...

Marriage myths. (Letters).(Letter to the Editor)
March 22, 2003... Recently I was trying to understand why my husband and I are having problems and how we can solve them. That's when I read Judy Bodmer's article "Busting the Myths of a Christian Marriage" (Winter 2002). Everything in that article hit home;...

Weighing in. (Letters).(Letter to the Editor)
March 22, 2003... Thank you for the article "Why Can't My Wife Lose Weight?" by Barry Kennedy. For the past couple years my husband has harped about my weight and many times he hasn't been kind or gentle in his comments. I plan to show him this article and...

Faith factors. (Letters).(Letter to the Editor)
March 22, 2003... I agree with the principles Steve and Valerie Bell mention in their article "The Soul Cure." My relationship with God is fundamental to the success of my relationship with my spouse. Over the past nine years of my marriage, I can identify how...

Lustful looks. (Letters).(Letter to the Editor)
March 22, 2003... I appreciated the response the McBurneys gave to "When Is Looking Lust?" in their Real Sex column. However, their recommended statement, "Wow, didn't GOD do well when he designed women?" can be taken too far. Early in my marriage my...

Fantasy crisis. (Letters).(Letter to the Editor)
March 22, 2003... I have a fantasy struggle and have determined, as did Lindsay Roberts in "I Was Addicted to Romance," to renew my mind daily. For years prior to my confession of this problem, I kept it to myself and thought I was a freak. How awesome it would...

Give and take? (couple minutes).(Brief Article)
March 22, 2003... Here's how one husband sums up his marriage: "We have a lot of give and take in our relationship," he joked. "I give... and my wife takes!" We snicker, but that's a sad-but-true picture of too many marriages. What about you? Are you a...

Love without feeling? (Couples Devotional).(Brief Article)
March 22, 2003... It's been more than 15 years since Judy and Len Vander Zee received the awful news that Judy had multiple sclerosis. "Sometimes I feel like a prisoner in my own home," Judy says. "I get jealous when I hear friends complain about how long it...

20 great things to say to your spouse.(Brief Article)
March 22, 2003... * "What's on your mind?" * "Let me just listen." * "Good job." * "I was wrong." * "You're wonderful" * "I appreciate all the things you've done for me all these years." * "I missed you today." * "As always, you...

How to be a Latin lover.(April 23 in Spain)(Brief Article)
March 22, 2003... Here's a tradition for you and your sweetie to start, taken from Spain. Every year on April 23, women in Barcelona pay respect to Spaniard Miguel de Cervantes, author of Don Quixote, by giving their beloved a book. In return, their beloveds...

You said it!
March 22, 2003... "Love doesn't just sit there, tike a stone. It has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new." --Ursula K. Le Guin "A successful marriage requires fatting in rove many times, always with the same person." --Mignon...

All in a day's work. (couple minutes).(quality of a man's work)(Illustration)
March 22, 2003... WHAT 989 WOMEN SAY IS MOST IMPORTANT ABOUT A MAN'S JOB: Provides for a family 25% Has growth Potential 20% Offers perks for her 2% That he enjoys it 43% Benefits Society 10% Source:...

"My favorite marital advice". (couple minutes).
March 22, 2003... "End every day with at least a 20-second kiss. We have--and it really keeps our romance alive, even after a long day when we're both tired. It really works? --Krista Lawson, Saskatchewan, Canada "You two can have cake for dinner if you...

Snapshot.(Sara and Troy Groves)(Interview)
March 22, 2003... When Christian musician Sara Groves and her manager/husband, Troy, married eight years ago, they made a commitment to put their marriage first. That commitment has taught them a lot about how to communicate, what marital advice to accept--and...

Does togetherness equal happiness? (couple minutes).(Brief Article)
March 22, 2003... Not according to a recent University of Pennsylvania study. In fact, the research suggests that spending more time together might be bad for your marriage. "It's an absolute surprise," says U of Penn sociologist Constance Gager, who headed the...

A Christian porn site? (couple minutes).(www.xxxchurch.com.)(Brief Article)
March 22, 2003... If you or your spouse are addicted to Internet pornography--or just dabble in it--but want to quit, check out www.xxxchurch.com. This year-old Christian Web ministry, that receives more than 40,000 hits per week, is specifically set up to offer...

Marriage rocks! (couple minutes).(Bono speaks out)(Brief Article)
March 22, 2003... How does a world-famous rock star stay faithfully married for almost a quarter century? That's just what Larry King asked Bono, a Christian and the lead singer of the supergroup U2, on CNN's "Larry King Weekend." A snippet from that transcript:...

You are what you eat? (couple minutes).(Brief Article)
March 22, 2003... Want a unique way to figure out your spouse's personality? Watch his snack choices. Dr. Alan Hirsch, a neurologist at the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago administered psychological tests to 800 people, then asked them...

My husband isn't honest. (Couple Counsel).
March 22, 2003... Q. My husband fibs. It's mostly over stupid little things such as leaving the cap off the milk. He's a good man and I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt me or lie about something major. But these little lies drive me crazy and I'm having...

Attracted to another man. (Couple Counsel).
March 22, 2003... Q. My husband and I have been married for six years. While I really love him and am still attracted to him, I'm also attracted to another man. I know they always say the grass is greener on the other side, but is something wrong with me? I've...

Unequal family time. (Couple Counsel).
March 22, 2003... Q. My husband goes out of his way to spend time with his family--he even admits he'll stop everything to be with them. He's taken off work to do things with them. Plus they attend our church, so often we see them up to three times a week! But...

Food fight! When Marcus and Janet argued about how she bought groceries, she hit him with a box of corn flakes. They realized it was time to find a more peaceful solution. (Work It Out).
March 22, 2003... Janet's Side: Marcus and I are about as opposite as two people can be. In 21 years of marriage we've rarely shared the same opinion on, well, just about anything. Most of our differences are minor and just a matter of taste, or the lack...

Marriage is like a church: at least that's how God designed it. (Soul To Soul).
March 22, 2003... Robert Frost made a fascinating statement about family life in his poem, "Death of a Hired Hand." When an old hired hand returns to the farmer's house to die, the farmer resents the intrusion, but takes him in because home, for him, is the...

Making a connection: 7 doable ideas for couples on the run.
March 22, 2003... Life isn't always predictable," an old proverb says. I think I'd change that to "Life is never predictable--except for all the things you have to do." If we could take a few things out of the equation--such as work, finances, church or...

Turn off & tune in: your TV habits affect your marriage ... for better or for worse.
March 22, 2003... Another Thursday night gone, I thought, then sighed as I collapsed into bed. My husband, Keith, came in to the bedroom, wanting to talk, but I brushed him off to be alone with my melancholy thoughts. Frustrated, Keith huffed out of the room....

Downsized! A survival guide for when life throws you for a loop.
March 22, 2003... Spaghetti boiled over and the steam scorched my hand. My children fought over a cheap restaurant toy while the cat meowed for attention. I glared at my son as he lectured me about kitchen safety, then I shooed the kids into the living room, and...

Good, clean fun! You and your spouse can make spring cleaning less of a drag.
March 22, 2003... Decades ago, spring cleaning was a serious task. The home-maker, adorned in her housedress, apron, and feather duster--think June Cleaver, and you've got the picture--would clean and reorder the house from top to bottom, shaking out every rug,...

Walking with purpose.(one couple's prayerwalks)
March 22, 2003... FOR MONTHS IN THE EARLY YEARS of our marriage, mornings at our house were a blur of busyness. My husband, Charles, and I would jump out of bed, shower, dress, eat, scan the newspaper, then rush off to work. After a while, I felt the need to...

Handling hidden differences.(Gary and Norma Smalley on marriage)(Interview)
March 22, 2003... For a young, insanely busy couple, the idea of marriage and family life one day slowing down sounds attractive. Someday, you tell yourselves, we'll have time to take long walks and have long talks. Wait a minute. We'll have time to take...

Turn it up! Is making meatloaf a higher priority than making love? Here are 19 ways to kick up your sexual desires a notch.
March 22, 2003... They say men think about sex once every 17 seconds; this contributes to their higher sex drive. According to my friend pane, women think about sex once every 17 days--and that's in a good month! Most women don't have the same drive or desire as...

I proposed in a chain letter! But she married me anyway, and 20 years later, we're still going strong. Here are five good reasons.
March 22, 2003... Last August my wife, Ramona, and I celebrated 20 years of married life--most of them good ones. It's a curious thing, reaching this milestone. When I was a boy, the only ones celebrating 20th anniversaries were old people with ample wrinkles,...

More than just money: finances alone don't help or harm your marriage. But your attitudes about money make a big difference.
March 22, 2003... Most of us have strong feelings about money. Those feelings are actually based on our unique money personalities--the way we're wired, the influences of our parents, and/or our past experiences with money or employment. And those personalities...

Could I ever forgive him? When my husband got caught soliciting a prostitute, I wondered if our marriage could survive.
March 22, 2003... It was 10:30 P.M. when the phone rang. I'd fallen asleep waiting for my husband, Michael *, to return home from a long day at work. I answered the phone and heard Michael say, "I'm in jail. I need you to come get me out." "You're in jail?"...

He wants to "just do it". (Real Sex).(Brief Article)
March 22, 2003... Q. When my husband and I have sex, he won't caress or kiss me. He just wants to do the act. When I ask him for some affection, he gets angry and says I shouldn't tell him what to do. I've tried to let it go, but I really crave his touch! Why is...

Are sex toys okay? (Real Sex).(Brief Article)
March 22, 2003... Q. I'm a Christian. However, my pre-Christian experiences left me with an incurable STD that isn't deadly, but nonetheless is something with which my wife and I now have to live. We've been using a sex toy to avoid reinfecting each other. Are...

I don't want our kids to know. (Real Sex).(privacy and sexual intimacy)(Brief Article)
March 22, 2003... Q. My husband and I have three children all under the age of 10. He and I set aside some time on Saturday mornings to have sex. Currently, my kids have no idea what we're up to, but it won't be long before they'll understand what we're doing. I...

We've never had sex! (Real Sex).(consummating a marriage)
March 22, 2003... Q. My husband and I have been married for more than two years and we've never had sex. We kiss and "pet" each other, but when it starts to move toward intercourse, he pushes me away and says he has something else he has to do. When I ask him...

I feel rushed. (Real Sex).(finding time for sexual relationships)(Brief Article)
March 22, 2003... Q. While my husband and I have sex frequently, sometimes I feel rushed and as if foreplay lasts for just about two seconds. We have three kids, we both work outside the home, and we rarely relax. What can we do to make it feel less hurried? Are...

A good investment: think of your marriage like the stock market--especially the long-term return. (Viewpoint).
March 22, 2003... More people than ever before have investments in the stock market. As a result, all of us are learning firsthand that the market can sometimes resemble a roller coaster. From the steep climb fueled by the dot-coms in the late '90s to the deep...