Esquire articles from September 2008

Esquire archives from September 2008

July included Mike Myers's first magazine interview in nine yews, but the most impassioned response was to a story about Newark, N.J., and its denizens.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Brief article)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] July included Mike Myers's first magazine interview in nine yews, but the most impassioned response was to a story about Newark, N.J., and its denizens. (To be fair, we might have inadvertently compared them to...

A city in need of a savior?(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
September 1, 2008... Writer at large Scott Raab profiled Newark, New Jersey, mayor Cory Booker's inspired attempt to save a city besieged by poverty and crime, one struggling citizen at a time ("The Battle of Newark," July). I can't decide who impressed me...

And a few (hundred) words from the mayor himself.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Days after the July issue hit newsstands, Booker sent us a six-page response, an abridged version of which is included below. For the unedited letter, go to esquire.com/booker-letter. Enough! [Your article]...

The definition of murder.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
September 1, 2008... Writer at large Tom Junod recounted the story of Michael Hensley and Evan Vela, two soldiers involved in the killing of an Iraqi civilian ("The Six Letter Word That Changes Everything," July). Vela, who pulled the trigger, is in prison....

Chess partner.(LETTER-INSPIRED FICTION)
September 1, 2008... In March, we debuted Letter-Inspired Fiction: short stories based on intriguing lines from your letters. This month a new writer filled in the story behind another peculiar sentence. I learned that from Chuck. He sidled up next to me on the...

Something to do at esquire.com.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)
September 1, 2008... Read our old stuff. In seventy-five years of Esquire, we like to think there've been a few good stories. Hopefully you'll agree. To find out, check out the updated archives section at esquire.com. Along with every article we've run since 1999,...

What meat means.(EDITOR'S LETTER)(Editorial)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] I LIKE A STEAK. Most of the people I like like steak. I've had memorable moments while eating steak. I met writer Scott Raab over steak. I spent many good nights reaping the rewards of being a part of productive...

Thanks for the feedback, chooches.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
September 1, 2008... The July issue included six pages dedicated to a type of person we think has been historically undervalued: the son of a bitch ("Let Us Now Praise the Son of a Bitch"). It's an insult to sons of bitches everywhere to elevate Karl Rove to...

You had us going for a minute with this "Sudetenland." Good one.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
September 1, 2008... In his article "You (We) Are Not Stupid" (Man at His Best, July), A. J. Jacobs asserts that the present generation is actually smarter than past generations, citing evidence such as improved IQ tests. But in his one-dimensional rush to defend...

Recognizing the recognition of our contributors.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(James Beard Foundation)(Brief article)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Each year, the James Beard Foundation, an association that "celebrates, preserves, and nurtures America's culinary heritage," awards the best in various culinary fields. And in June, Esquire drinks correspondent...

Esquire in real life.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Brief article)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] My friend Tom was reading the July issue on the ride down to New Orleans for his bachelor party when he came across Rule No. 712: "Men with eye patches make great drinking partners." Tom was sober as a state trooper,...

A comfortable shirt for Jay Anderson.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
September 1, 2008... I'm trying to find shorter-length polo shirts (without the drop tennis tail) that do not fit as if they're made for a ten-year-old. Everything I've seen so far has been too tight. There have to be short-length polos that have a relaxed fit. ...

Elsewhere in the more-complimentary-than-usual bin.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
September 1, 2008... As a Desert Storm veteran, I have often wished I had a way to communicate to kids coming home today what they will face and what they can expect as time passes and their memories don't fade. So when I read Daniel Woodrell's fiction ("Night...

Highlights from our bookshelf.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Brief article)
September 1, 2008... "This segment ended with [radio-talk-show host Eddie] Cantor asking his guest star: 'There is one thing I always wanted to know. What makes you call yourself Gorgeous?' To which George answered: 'Honesty.'" --From Gorgeous George: The...

The continued raising of Nick Wojtasik.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
September 1, 2008... In September 2007, we ran a letter from Nick Wojtasik, a fifteen-year-old who claimed to learn more about being a man from Esquire than from his father. Recognizing his need, we offered to step in as a surrogate. I've accomplished some...

Six commandments of summer style: recession special.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Buyers guide)
September 1, 2008... I'm assuming your average reader is like me and can't necessarily afford all of the items you included in "The 10 Commandments of Summer Style" (Man at His Best, July). Perhaps you could mention some affordable substitutes. LARRY ERNST ...

The vocabulary: (terms and ideas you will encounter in the pages that follow. Great for conversation.).(Man at His Best)(Glossary)
September 1, 2008... * PRESCRIPTIVE ORDERING n: A drink order whereby a patron gives a bartender an explicit set of ingredients and instructions instead of simply naming a drink. Popular among the fastidious. (SEE PAGE 76.) * the eternal flame n: THE VAST...

A chat between madmen.(Film)(Interview)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Dedicated appetites for the eccentric have made film director Werner Herzog and tightrope artist Philippe Petit friends for decades. Since the 1960s, Herzog has populated his movies with dwarfs, nomads, and outcasts...

The vaguely interested man's guide to the Olympics.(Man at His Best: The Culture)(Brief article)
September 1, 2008... Opening ceremony [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Day 1: Michael Phelps begins his second quest for eight gold medals in eight swimming events. Day 2: Kobe's first day as an Olympian. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Day 2: Your first ay as...

The hall of cultural significance: the six most intriguing performances this month.(Man at His Best: The Culture)
September 1, 2008... ACTRESS WHOSE NAME WE JUST MEMORIZED [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Natalie Martinez in Death Race. The trick to creating the perfect testosterone-soaked driving project is knowing whom to put in the passenger seat, This remake of a cult...

Welcome back, Tom Cruise.(Film)(Brief article)
September 1, 2008... IN TROPIC THUNDER, Tom Cruise wears a fat suit, sports a balding cranium and a lot of chest hair, and spews profanity. The short Scientologist who has recently and bewilderingly immolated himself in the name of love, conviction, and a bizarre...

How to be a leading Hollywood player when you're lazy.(Inspiration)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Some men stoop to conquer; Ricky Gervais, 47, thinks that sounds like unnecessary exertion. We recently asked the creator of The Office and star of this month's Ghost Town to write a column for us and share the...

Soundtrack to this issue: go back to the cover, begin music, start flipping. This story will cost you $6.93.(Man at His Best: The Culture)(Brief article)
September 1, 2008... "Mighty Storm," the Duhks If more bluegrass sounded this much like Heart's "Barracuda," we'd own more bluegrass. (This Way In) "Heavy Petting," Dead Confederate On this one from the Georgians' appropriately titled Wrecking Ball, a...

The complaint: football coaches.(Opinion)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] I'm not sure when, exactly, Motorola headsets started coming with a license to act like an asshole. My guess is it began with Bill Parcells, although he might have been just the most visible of a new breed, because...

What the f%$# is wrong with you people? Candid responses to a perplexing reality--from an expert and a comedian.(Man at His Best: The Culture)(Brief article)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] MAJOR HUMAN FLAW: Posting inane comments online. RESPONSE NO. 1, by Paul Levinson, professor of communications at Fordham University and author of the upcoming book New New Media: Everyone has a ratio of...

Campaign update: in the 18 months since Barack Obama began running for president ...(Man at His Best: The Culture)
September 1, 2008... You could have gotten a whole new smile with Invisalign. A caterpillar could have been hatched, turned into a butterfly, and died. Ten times. The space shuttle Atlantis launched, returned home, and launched again. You could have earned an...

Funny joke from a beautiful woman.(Man at His Best: The Culture)(Brief article)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] "YOU NEED TO STOP masturbating," the doctor says. The man asks, "Why?" The doctor replies, "Because I'm trying to examine you." TOPICS FOR FURTHER DISCUSSION Thomas f-ing Cruise. >> Now that BMX is an...

Can we stop acting so childish?(A Thousand Words About Our Culture)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] It is possible that as you read these words one of the great works of art of our time is being destroyed. The film version of "Where the Wild Things Are"--with a screenplay cowritten by the Coolest Writer in America...

Theater, without the home.(THE DIGITAL MAN)
September 1, 2008... FROM AGE 17 until the day I turned 30, I was six feet tall and weighed 108 pounds. I didn't go to the movies except with my parents I could never get a date, and movies made me sad. Everyone up on the screen and watching the screen was in a...

Gardening for men: ask a landscaper.(Man at His Best: The Instructions)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] My bought his first house, and he's excited about maintaining a lawn, flowers, the whole thing. I'd like to get him something he doesn't know hell need yet. Any ideas? When a guy moves into a new house, he...

Sex: in lesbian relationships, is one partner typically dominant in bed?(Man at His Best: The Instructions)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] I'd like to think that those born under the sign Lesbio (March 23 to August 16 on the Mayan calendar) fall into the same patterns of dominance and submission as the rest of us do. However, warns Claire Cavanah of the...

Minor catastrophe No. 217: no more gas money.(Man at His Best: The Instructions)(Brief article)
September 1, 2008... {1} [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Inflate your tires to the maximum recommended level, and if your manual suggests 5W-20, try 0W-20 instead. (Most manufacturers release compatibility specs online.) {2} [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] ...

Seventy-five years of storied history-in one easy page: this month: Baseball: almost from our opening day--since May 1934, to be exact--we've covered hardball. But the game itself is timeless. As are the stories.(Page 75)
September 1, 2008... July 1966 [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] He was then thirty-nine, she was twenty-seven. They had been married in January of that year, 1954, despite disharmony in temperament and time: he was tired of publicity, she was thriving on it; he was...

The official drink of summer.(DRINKING)(Gin Rickey)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] We owe the most refreshing drink known to mankind to God. But second to only icy mountain spring-water drunk straight from the source is the incomparable Gin Rickey, and for that we have a lobbyist to thank. Colonel...

Minor catastrophe No. 43: you got grease on her sofa.(Man at His Best: The Instructions)(Brief article)
September 1, 2008... Consultant: Kay Khanna, interior designer {1} [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Hide the chicken wings. Then dab off excess with a clean, soft cloth. Cover stain with baby powder or tale--pretty much any powder you'd find in a retirement...

Your drink on your business card.(THE IDIOSYNCRASY)(daiquiri)(Brief article)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] SINCE THERE ARE only about a half dozen true bartenders left in the world, with the rest barely capable of making anything other than vodka martinis, I decided that the only way I'd ever get a classic daiquiri,...

Answer Fella: four sneezes, one can, six pics & two hands.(Man at His Best: The Instructions)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] ESQUIRE'S ANSWER FELLA believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don't ask questions, fearing they'll look stupid. So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn't know the answer, he'll find...

The Esquire style awards: recession special.(Man at His Best: Style)(Buyers guide)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] It's official: After consulting with top economists and applying both Keynesian and monetarist analysis to all available data, we are prepared to classify the U.S. economy as in the crapper. And though there's the...

Andre Benjamin: musician, actor, and creator of the new luxury clothing line Benjamin Bixby.(Q&A with a DESIGNER)(Brief article)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] What kind of lunatic launches a luxury brand in a recession? It's not like we planned it this way, but it actually kind of helps. The person that I'm making clothes for doesn't want to wear the same thing as everyone...

Donald Trump: real estate tycoon and creator of the Donald J. Trump Signature Collection.(Q&A with a DESIGNER)(Brief article)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Do you dress to impress? I always wear a suit--looking one's best is good for confidence. High self-esteem is important for effective performance. Dressing well is also a sign of respect, for yourself and for others....

10 things you don't know about women.(Brief article)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] 1. We do care about the story of your life, just not spelled out in ink across your chest. 2. When you call us a bitch, we take it to mean strong, opinionated, and sassy. When you call us the c-word, you better...

75 years of Esquire style: let's start at the beginning ... highlights, low points, predictions, regrets, commentary, criticism, and a man named Super Chikan.
September 1, 2008... THE '30s: THE GREAT DEPRESSION RAGES, PROHIBITION FIZZLES, AND A LITTLE MAN NAMED ESKY STARTS SHOWING UP IN MAILBOXES. THE EXCERPT (Autumn 1933) "Esquire aims to be, among other things, a fashion guide for men, but it never intends to...

The great American stasis: when you remove yourself from the exciting scrum of American culture, you realize it's not very exciting, and there is no scrum.(chuck klosterman's america)(Column)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Like a cop in an unmarked car across the street from a meth lab, I watch America. I am not in America, but I stare at it. I stare at it all day and much of the night, compulsively, over the Internet and on TV...

The pearl: the real war to watch now is the one between John McCain and John McCain.(portrait)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] The snipers look out from the rooftops. Soldiers in camouflage cradle their machine guns along the runway. Secret Service agents press their fingers to their ears. ("There's security here even I don't know about,"...

The best dressed real men in America 2008.
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Wow, has it really been four years? Seems like just yesterday we first packed up the minivan anti went searching for the country's best-dressed citizens. Now, three winners later and with a little help from...

Just throw the ball, Tom Brady: this man will go down in history as the greatest football player never to go down in history and he's still smiling.
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] The back of Tom Brady's house sits, pressed not thirty feet from the canyon road, sealed up tight as a shipping container. The palpitant Los Angeles traffic doesn't reach way up here, so the occasional passing car...

Less is more: more is more.(Esquire STYLE)(minimalist Richard Meier and maximalist Takashi Murakami)
September 1, 2008... Curated by Richard Meier and Takashi Murakami Stop us if you've heard this one before: Two guys walk into a bar. One's dressed like a priest in mourning. The other's dressed like Elton John on speed. How can each claim to be the...

Welcome back: three years out of the Army, diagnosed with PTSD, I recently got a nice letter from the Pentagon saying they'd like me back in Iraq, pronto. They didn't even mind that I was a little sick. and I'm not the only one.(post-traumatic stress disorder)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Imagine that you graduated from college, and a couple years afterward your alma mater contacts you and Says, Sorry, you didn't graduate from college. In fact, you have five weeks to drop everything that you're...

Sarah: a woman we love: Sarah Shahi may not look like this when she's hiking, or house hunting, or cooking salmon. But she still knows how to make us feel all funny inside.
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] The woman in these photos, this is not the Sarah Shahi I'm looking at. It's not that she isn't beautiful; it's just that she is more approachably cute than intimidatingly hot: five foot three, freckled, no makeup,...

The following preview has been reviewed for all audiences.(Excerpt)
September 1, 2008... COMING SOON August 25,1983 (Julia) "You're going to like it here," said Walter Valentine. He said this from behind a nine-hundred-pound cherrywood desk, hands interlocked behind his head while his eyes looked toward the ceiling,...

The Esquire almanac of steak.(Brief article)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] It seems so simple, steak. A man kills a cow. Another man carves it up. The last man eats it. And it tastes good. But of course, there are complicating factors. Vegetarians. Rich idiots with cigars and expense...

The 20 best steaks in America.(THE ESQUIRE ALMANAC OF STEAK)(Directory)
September 1, 2008... This may be the last article worth reading about American steak. Great beef will soon be so expensive and so difficult to obtain that the dishes on this list will be available to even fewer people than they already are. American prime beef...

Steak night.(THE ESQUIRE ALMANAC OF STEAK)
September 1, 2008... I grew up barely middle class. Before the divorce, my dad was a depressive salesman, and my morn was a homemaker; afterward, my father lived three thousand miles away, my mother was a receptionist, and we moved in with her parents--a retired...

Your first steak.(THE ESQUIRE ALMANAC OF STEAK)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATIONS OMITTED] Let's get this out of the way right now: The Salisbury steak in the Stouffer's Salisbury-steak frozen dinner is awful. It tastes like a giant stale crouton that's been soaked in beef broth for a few minutes, then...

Unnatural thoughts on the Wagyu: what does it mean when meat costs $130 a pound?(THE ESQUIRE ALMANAC OF STEAK)(Essay)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] A dozen years ago, I went to a slaughterhouse. I parked next to the space reserved for the "kill floor employee of the month," took a breath that I never succeeded in letting out, and went in. I had to put on a...

The globalization of steak: the geopolitics behind the official entree of the twenty-first century.(THE ESQUIRE ALMANAC OF STEAK)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] As food and grain prices rise around the world, causing hunger and political unrest from Egypt to Indonesia, I still find myself nearly every weekend walking around the corner for brunch to Brasserie Les Halles in...

Outback: the review.(THE ESQUIRE ALMANAC OF STEAK)(Outback Steakhouse Inc.)(Restaurant review)
September 1, 2008... It wasn't as awful as I thought it would be--at least not as long as the Bloomin' Onion lasted. This is Outback's signature item--an onion about the size of a softball "carved by a dedicated bloomologist," sliced to resemble a brown gardenia,...

The recipes.(THE ESQUIRE ALMANAC OF STEAK)(Recipe)
September 1, 2008... (1) MICHAEL MINA'S BUTTER-POACHED BONE-IN TOP LOIN with Truffled Macaroni and Cheese (1) Serves two. Prep time 15 minutes (plus at least 30 minutes to clarify butter). Cooking time: 45 minutes. * 2 bone-in top loin steaks,...

The steak information center.(THE ESQUIRE ALMANAC OF STEAK)
September 1, 2008... WHY BEEF IS AGED, AND HOW: Beef must be aged to allow natural enzymes to break down fibrous connective tissue that holds the muscle together. There are two ways to self-tenderize: * Dry aging. Expensive and time consuming. The beef is stored in...

The source: Lobel's.(THE ESQUIRE ALMANAC OF STEAK)(Manhattan butcher shop)(Brief article)
September 1, 2008... The beautiful meat in the large photographs on the preceding pages originated at Lobel's, the Manhattan butcher shop that is quite possibly the best in the world. (it is certainly the best butcher shop in the world that will send you meat...

Butcher: people trust a butcher. What he advises, they heed. What he recommends. They consume, The apron is part of it, yes--the apron gives him power. But it's much more than the apron.(THE ESQUIRE ALMANAC OF STEAK)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] The sink is full of tongues. Beef tongues, each as big as a man's shoe, frozen into one icy clump the size of a propane canister, defrosting for an afternoon pickup. There's a lot of mouth, too, I guess, or...

Mikhail Gorbachev: leader, 77, Moscow.(What I've Learned)
September 1, 2008... * I was just a boy. My father was going off to fight in World War II. We were all saying goodbye to him. It was very emotional. Everyone was crying. Just before he left, my father bought me some ice cream. It came in an aluminum cup. I can...

The elephant in the room: crisis? What crisis? Before heading to this month's national convention in Minneapolis, the next generation of GOP leaders gathered in Washington and planned for, uh, victory--yeah, victory!--in November.(Grand Old Party)
September 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] IT'S BECOME STRANGE, the idea of young Republicans. Sometime between Alex P. Keaton and Obama Girl, they became the political equivalent of neurons or people who can stomach Bill Maher: You don't see a whole lot of...