Esquire articles from September 2006

Esquire archives from September 2006

The state of the magazine.(Letter to the editor)
September 1, 2006... This was the most compelling issue of Esquire I've ever read. From the story about John Walker Lindh ("Innocent"), which left me infuriated, to "The Problem with Boys" to "Fifty Grand in San Diego," I've never had a harder time pulling myself...

The boys crisis in America.(Letter to the editor)
September 1, 2006... In his article "The Problem with Boys," Tom Chiarella explored why, over the last few decades, bogs have begun to be consistently outperformed by girls. The problems he found included a lack of male role models, education systems geared toward...

How to tuck in a shirt.(Letter to the editor)
September 1, 2006... In the May issue, Answer Fella (Man at His Best) suggested that properly tucking in a dress shirt was a simple two-step process. One reader disagreed. First, tie your necktie and button your sleeves. Pull your trousers up most of the way...

Editor's letter.(on the fifth anniversary of World Trade Center and Pentagon Attacksand Hurricane Katrina)(Editorial)
September 1, 2006... THE NEXT thirty days contain two horrible anniversaries--the fifth anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, and the first anniversary of Hurricane Katrina and the devastation of New Orleans and the Gulf...

Criminal justice.(Letter to the editor)
September 1, 2006... The July issue also included Tom Junod's profile of John Walker Lindh ("Innocent"), who is currently serving a twenty-year prison term for providing services to the Taliban in Afghanistan. He now calls himself Hamza. Junod's assertion that...

Dumb questions?(Letter to the editor)
September 1, 2006... We asked Aaron McGruder, creator of The Boondocks comic strip and animated series, to create something on the state of the American black man for July. Instead of a cartoon, he offered a sardonic questionnaire from the "Official Department of...

The state of the American boy.(Letter to the editor)
September 1, 2006... If Ryan Seacrest ("Lord of Hosts," July) is an example of the current state of the American man, this nation is in real trouble. Give us more eleven-year-olds like Hunter Clemons (What I've Learned). John Lee Bellingham, Wash. ...

Kevin Fedarko & Peter McBride: writer & photographer: "High in Hell,".(Djibouti)(Brief article)
September 1, 2006... KEVIN FEDARKO (near right) and Peter McBride (far right) were nearly thrown in jail by authorities in Djibouti while on assignment for Esquire to cover the country's addiction to the psychotropic drug khat. "The Djiboutian government is very...

No love for game dork?(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
September 1, 2006... In his July column ("The Lester Bangs of Video Games"). Chuck Klasterman bemoaned the dearth of in-depth video-game criticism. As a veteran editor, writer, and TV host for the video-gaming industry, I can tell you that Lester Bangs would...

Incomplete list.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
September 1, 2006... Although I was disappointed that your portfolio of twenty-five-year-olds from around the country ("Twenty-Five," July) did not include any full-time military personnel who are serving in a war zone, it did make me feel somewhat nostalgic. At...

Elsewhere in the bin.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
September 1, 2006... After a short discussion, my roommates and I came up with at least a dozen less admirable men than those you listed in your survey ("The Survey of the American Man," July). They include Scott Peterson, the Unabomber, Don King, Girls Gone Wild...

Esquire: helping people, making a difference.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
September 1, 2006... My girlfriend's birthday is coming up, and she lives a couple hours away, so I won't be able to visit her. I'd like to send her something other than roses. Do you have any suggestions? And what should I write? Greg O'Rourke ...

Funny * joke from a beautiful woman.(The Front: MAN AT HIS BEST)(Brief article)
September 1, 2006... As told by SARAH CARTER This woman goes in for a face-lift, and the doctor says, "We've got this new method: I put a knob in the back of your head, and every time you feel like you need a lift, just turn it." She gets the knob implanted...

How to allocate your free time this month.(THE FRONT: MAN AT HIS BEST)(Brief article)
September 1, 2006... Debating whether Ben Affleck's stiff portrayal of original Superman George Reeves in Hollywoodland is brilliant acting or whether Affleck is just a stiff hack. 30 minutes Settling debate by actually seeing Hollywoodland. Begging people...

You just can't look away: Black Snake Moan is as subtle as a car wreck. And as hard to ignore.(Movies)
September 1, 2006... AMERICAN MOVIES HAVE BECOME SO TIMID, so pathologically leery of giving offense, that unapologetic trash wielded with bulldozing conviction now has the power to inspire something like awe. Black Snake Moan, Craig Brewer's follow-up to last...

Q&A: Pedro Almodovar.(Spanish filmmaker)(Interview)(Brief article)
September 1, 2006... CALL HIM THE VAGINA VIRTUOSO: Spanish filmmaker Pedro Almodovar has dedicated his life to the hysteria and humanity of the female sex--and launched a few careers along the way (Antonio Banderas's and Penelope Cruz's). This fall, a touring...

Nymphs on film.(Amateur, I am a Nymphomaniac, Rambling Rose, Written on the Wind)(Brief article)
September 1, 2006... AMATEUR (1994): Hal Hartley intellectualizes erotica with this deadpan satire that casts Isabelle Huppert as a nymphomaniac virgin ("I'm choosy," she claims) and ex-nun who writes pornography. RAMBLING ROSE (1991): Laura Dern got an Oscar...

The awards.(Movies)
September 1, 2006... 1 BIGGEST LETDOWN "As a boy, I'm coming up through the '60s, so I thought, you know, my late teens, early 20s, were going to be the most radical years of my life. And I get there and it's like, yeah, Pete Frampton in a kimono, man." ...

Quiz: TV or not TV?
September 1, 2006... WE PULLED the "log lines" (industry shorthand for upcoming projects) for a few shows that will debut sometime this year--and some we just made up. Can you spot the fakes? 1. RITA FABULOUS: New York's most in-demand wedding planner (Mena...

Gondry does gondry.(The Science of Sleep by Michel Gondry)(Movie review)
September 1, 2006... IF SOME OF THE IMAGINATIVE VISUAL EFFECTS in French director Michel Gondry's new film, The Science of Sleep, look familial it's because he's stolen them--from his own music videos. HUGE HANDS FIRST SEEN IN: FOO FIGHTERS'"EVERLONG" ...

All you need to know about fall's new shows *: our resident TV addict tells it like it is.(TV)
September 1, 2006... HERE ARE THE THEMES: no laugh tracks, serials, it's a smart world, grow up, and, of course, voice-overs (again). This is probably the best crop of new fall-season shows in a very long time. Still, a lot of it is not very good. Better. Good. But...

Things I learned this summer: four lessons from music's hottest season.(Music)
September 1, 2006... TEXAS JUST MIGHT SAVE NASHVILLE. Not since Creed and Limp Bizkit have we seen a more atrocious and insulting double play than Big & Rich and Gretchen Wilson. But "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" notwithstanding, Nashville's nothing if not resilient....

The visiting critic: ?UESTLOVE.
September 1, 2006... THE ROOTS' TIMEKEEPER and hip-hop's resident musicologist weighs in on a handful of new tunes. KASHMERE STAGE BAND, "I Wish": Recently unearthed '70s funk from a Houston high school's stage band. ?UESTLOVE'S TAKE: "We're rehearsing with...

The deal.(Cartoon)
September 1, 2006... REALLY GREAT. THANKS AGAIN, SO MUCH. NOT A PROBLEM, WE HAD A GREAT TIME WORKING ON IT. THE MEETING WAS PERFECTION, AND I WAS LOOKING FOR THAT SIGN IN THEIR EYES. THE TELL [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] WE'LL JUST LOOK AT THE NUMBERS...

All the Pretty Horses have died: Cormac McCarthy's journey through postapocalyptic America.(Big Book of the Month)
September 1, 2006... THE CINEMATIC AND LITERARY versions of the postapocalyptic world always include hardy bands of survivors who somehow manage to stumble upon remarkable stores of weapons, food, and useful cultural toys. Sure, vampires or zombies or marauding...

Eat the author.(public opinion on books)(Viewpoint essay)
September 1, 2006... AND NOW LET US sing of the book tour--when a writer, invariably a small, balding man living on the margins of New York City, is released from his cage into the wilds of America to gorge on distant hotel minibars and be petted by his kinder...

What would Stephen Baldwin do?("The Unusual Suspect: Mg Calling to the New Hordcore Movement of Faith")(Brief article)(Book review)
September 1, 2006... YOU CAN LEARN A LOT from Stephen Baldwin. Maybe not about quality acting or the downside of nepotism, but balls-out evangelism? The man will change your life. Since finding Christ after the September 11 attacks, Baldwin's nurtured a unique...

The (new) 9/11 Reports.(A Graphic Adaptation)(Book review)
September 1, 2006... DURING THE EARLY SUMMER OF 2001, ATTA, ASSISTED BY SHEHHI, WAS BUSY COORDINATING THE ARRIVAL OF THE MUSCLE HIJACKERS IN SOUTHERN FLORIDA. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] THEY PICKED THEM UP AT THE AIRPORTS... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] ...

The endorsement: wine porn: Savanna Samson is the Larry Flynt of wine. Sort of.(Sogno Uno signs porn star)(Brief article)
September 1, 2006... THE RULES ARE ENDLESS when you're designing a wine label. The phrase "government warning" must be in bold capital letters. The alcohol content has to be dealt with somehow. And apparently nipples are out. Even when they're really nice-looking...

Things we won't be covering in Esquire this month.
September 1, 2006... The Calla, a high chair for modern life, designed by Yves Behar. The Travelin' Dog Car Harness, a seat belt for your pet. Phish Live in Brooklyn. The Enhanced SenSlip MK 2, an artificial foreskin for circumcised men. The L2, a new golf putter...

What I like in a man: balls.(American men don't know any household chores)(Brief article)
September 1, 2006... HERE'S WHAT CONCERNS ME about the present condition of the American man: Most guys today are just big pussies. They like to pretend they're bold and posture that they know what they want. But when push comes to shove, most (in my experience)...

The Brooks Brothers "Fitzgerald".(new men's suit introduced)(Brief article)
September 1, 2006... IN TUNE WITH the evolution of the current dressed-up, fitted mood in American men's suits, Brooks Brothers has created an updated replica of the "Number 2" suit it introduced for a leaner, fitter generation of men in 1961. The suit encapsulated...

The Esquire style awards.(best clothes)(Buyers guide)(Brief article)
September 1, 2006... FOR WHICH WE waded through hundreds of new products from the fall season, judged them mercilessly, and selected just seven of our favorite items. You want to upgrade your wardrobe? Seek out appropriate salesclerk. Point to appropriate item....

Oliver Goldsmith and the evolution of sunglasses.(Brief article)
September 1, 2006... BEFORE OLIVER GOLDSMITH CAME ALONG, sunglasses were merely tinted spectacles. Though the British optical brand began making shades as early as the 1920s, it wasn't until the '60s that a new generation of Goldsmiths began to create outsize,...

Roberto Menichetti.(clothes designed)(Brief article)
September 1, 2006... An avid off-road motorcycle racer and windsurfer, designer Roberto Menichetti takes ideas from those sports, such as pants with articulated-knees and shirts made from authentic windsurfing fabrics, without creating anything that could be...

The Esquire best-dressed-men-in-the-world challenge.(Dave Chappelle, Ian McShane, Don Cheadle)(Brief article)
September 1, 2006... WE'RE A POSITIVE MAGAZINE. We want people to succeed. So it hurt us when some guys whose style we admire didn't make this year's Best Dressed list (which you'll find on page 195). We issue this challenge to the men listed below: Get here next...

A fragrance for men.
September 1, 2006... A FRAGRANCE FOR MEN: JOHN VARVATOS VINTAGE We're told it has "top notes" of absinthe, tobacco, and oakmoss. While we can't test for oakmoss, we have enough experience with nicotine and liquor to conclusively say, They're in there. Or maybe...

Denim x4: it's America's favorite material. If worn the right way, denim can be appropriate in situations both dressy and casual. It can work as a shirt, jacket, or pants (just not at the same time). This is how to do it.(Brief article)
September 1, 2006... [1] CASUAL FRIDAY Don't abuse the your jeans crisp looking with a dark indigo wash. And put on a tie, man! Double-breasted trench coat ($298) by Banana Republic; wool cardigan ($210) by Juicy Men; cotton shirt ($85) by Ben...

The Esquire guide to buttons (!).(Brief article)
September 1, 2006... THE RIGHT JACKET AND THE WAY YOU BUTTON IT CAN DECEIVE THE EYE, COVER UP YOUR SHORTCOMINGS, AND GIVE YOU MORE OR LESS BULK WHERE YOU NEED IT The Short Guy Lengthen your silhouette by wearing a one-button jacket with natural shoulders....

The envy of your friends: nothing screams self-indulgence like a home screening room.(Buyers guide)
September 1, 2006... NOT ONLY ARE THE PRICES of large-screen televisions dropping rapidly, the costs of home video projectors are also falling, while quality is rising. I tested four projectors to see if any of them are worthy of displaying one of my films--the...

Bootleggin'!(copper utensil from Copper Alembic)
September 1, 2006... Once you've stocked your bar with rare malts, collected all the cool cocktail shakers, and blown the big bucks on that first edition of The Savoy Cocktail Book, then what? For the true booze enthusiast, there's only one place left to go...

Restaurant of the month: Blue, Grand Cayman: the world's best seafood chef heads for the tropics.(THE GUIDE: FOOD & DRINK)(Brief article)
September 1, 2006... ALL I REMEMBER from the last time I visited Grand Cayman two decades ago is that there were dozens of banks and billions of beach gnats. Aside from scuba diving and turtle watching, there was nothing to see or do. The food was inedible. So...

The guide: sex.(MAN AT HIS BEST)
September 1, 2006... Is there any way to gauge the size, or color of a woman's nipples by looking at another body part? I really like large, dark nipples, but I can't ask every woman I meet what hers look like. Oh, well, look at you! Wet-T-shirt contests not...

The hurried man's guide to: marathon training.(The Runner's Hondbook by Bob Glover)
September 1, 2006... HOW SCREWED ARE YOU? That's the question as the fall marathon you've signed up for approaches. If you've been running ten to 15 miles a week, though, you can still finish by radically condensing the usual 18 or more weeks of running and cross...

I've heard stretching is BS. True?(time is important for doing exercises)(Brief article)
September 1, 2006... If you're trying to prevent injuries from most exercises that you normally do, then the answer, believe it or not, is yes. For most low-intensity activities like jogging, cycling, and swimming, there just isn't a lot of compelling medical...

Our ancestors' IQs, David Hasselhoff in Germany, and 8.5-by-11-inch paper.
September 1, 2006... ESQUIRE'S ANSWER FELLA believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don't ask questions, fearing they'll look stupid. So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn't know the answer, he'll find out who does or who has a...

How to give a eulogy: it's no easy task summing up someone's life in just a few words. But I have my rules.(Viewpoint essay)
September 1, 2006... AT MY VERY FIRST FUNERAL, I wanted to say something. It was for a kid I'd known in high school who had somehow managed to get hit by a car in front of a bar outside my hometown. I'd read about it in the paper, left work, and snuck into the back...

How a young man lives: Friday night with Clinton Portis.
September 1, 2006... FRIDAY NIGHT, EIGHT O'CLOCK, three hours before Clinton Portis wants to hit the streets, and he isn't looking fine enough. Lucky for him, he doesn't need to hunt for help; the help will come to him. After summoning his barber, Norman, Portis...

How to bet the Super Bowl--now.(Ticket Reserve)
September 1, 2006... BACK ON JUNE 12, as surgeons worked to repair Ben Roethlisberger's face, hundreds of Steelers fans held a vigil outside Pittsburgh's Mercy Hospital. After a while, some of them started getting hungry. So, being Steelers fans, they set up...

10 things you don't know about women.(Brief article)
September 1, 2006... 1. If we run into your ex-girlfriend in public, the first thing you should do is put your arm around us. And if we have to introduce ourselves, you are in big trouble. 2. When you tell us about a business lunch you had with a woman, it's a...

Camaros--bitchin': the author's poison-listening, cheap-beer-drinking, IROC-driving self meets the 2009 Camaro concept car. Things are about to get nasty. Real nasty.(Product/service evaluation)
September 1, 2006... HERE'S MY BASIC PHILOSOPHY on writing about cars: I'll either be as unbiased as possible or wear my biases on my sleeve. On that note, I'll tell you right now that there's no way I can be objective about Camaros. I spent thirty thousand miles...

The sweet spot: there's no reason you have to understand something called credit-default swaps. But you can make a killing by investing in companies that do.(GFI Group helps in investing)
September 1, 2006... PETER LYNCH, THE ANDY WARHOL LOOK-ALIKE who managed Fidelity's Magellan Fund from $18 million to $14 billion in the 1980s, was famous for living by a maxim he popularized: Invest in what you know. The idea was disarmingly simple: If your buddy...

The sexiest woman alive: a six-part peek at a day in the life of an icon.
September 1, 2006... Part 4: SUNBATHING ON THE BLACKTOP Scooter Libby has been revealed as the Bush administration's go-to leaker. Deep Throat has been unmasked as a cranky old G-man. But one great journalistic mystery remains: Who is the Sexiest Woman Alive?...

The best dressed real men in America *: for the second year in a row, we embarked on a search for the best-dressed real man in America. We held competitions from Boston to San Francisco. Ten cities. Twenty-three hundred contestants who registered on esquire.com. We've narrowed it down to these five guys. They make their clothes work for them. They possess a style all their own. They look better in a suit than we do.
September 1, 2006... RANDY CANDLER, 49, CLOTHING SALESMAN, SAN FRANCISCO HOW HE WON Randy showed up at our San Francisco competition looking confident and sophisticated in tailoring that was old school but far from stodgy. Building on the solid foundation...

High in hell: this is a travel story. This is a drug story. This is an epic, drug-fueled travel story about chewing psychotropic foliage in the worst place on earth. Are you ready? Let's go.(Travel narrative)
September 1, 2006... SO IF YOU EVER HAPPEN to find yourself skimming through the troposphere high above the Horn of Africa, the engines of your cargo jet clawing at the currents of sub-Saharan air rolling off the lip of the Ethiopian plateau and down toward the Red...

The best dressed men in the world 2006.
September 1, 2006... AFTER HOLDING MULTIPLE PANEL DISCUSSIONS, creating dozens of algorithms, and downing a whole lot of caffeine, we bring you our third-annual list of the best-dressed men in the world: and exclusive club of individuals who get it exactly right,...

Bond is dead: America, meet Daniel Craig--thespian, Liverpudlian, and the next him a war007. Please, let's give mer welcome than the one he's received back home. (Long live Bond!).
September 1, 2006... In a darkened hangar at a small, secured airport about an hour outside of London, scores of anxious captives huddle together, peering intently at a small, glowing screen. As they sweat and squirm in tense silence, praying for a hero, the future...

The new power: though still rooted in tradition, the power suit has been transformed into something textured and detailed. Here, Ten Wall Street financiers on the most stylish lunch break in the history of business.(Buyers guide)
September 1, 2006... A subtle but eye-catching detail, like a peak lapel on a single-breasted suit. JUSTIN IRIZARRY, INVESTMENT BANKER Two-button wool suit ($1,695) by Valentino; cotton shirt ($245) by Paul Smith; silk tie ($160) by Salvatore Ferragamo;...

The loved ones: it's been a year since Hurricane Katrina destroyed New Orleans. In all that time--almost sixteen hundred dead, half the population still gone, the city still a festering skeleton of itself--only two people have been blamed for anything: Sal and Mabel Mangano.
September 1, 2006... It was the right decision. Of course it was. Mamaw was killing herself taking care of Papaw. Papaw was killing himself taking care of Mamaw. You were killing yourself taking care of them both. They were going to burn the house down if they kept...

Shut up and push play: if you want to rock this girl (or yours), these are the songs you need to know.
September 1, 2006... I WANT MY NEXT LOVER TO SPEAK LITTLE, IF ANY, ENGLISH. IT'S REALLY ONLY NECESSARY FOR TWO PEOPLE TO HAVE A FEW THINGS IN COMMON: SEX, FOOD, AND VACATION DESTINATIONS. I can envision getting by with a friendly hola as we pass each other on the...

Reverberations: for the men on the following pages, life didn't change all that much on September 11. But later--days, months, even years later--it sure did chance because of September 11. Four stories of indirect impact.
September 1, 2006... Jack Jenkins RETIRED OIL-RIG WORKER Jack Jenkins's son, U.S. Army Sergeant Troy Jenkins, was sent to Iraq in February 2003. Jack is sixty-two and lives in Turkey Creek, Louisiana. [AS TOLD TO CAL FUSSMAN] Must've been one of...

The blasters: through bedrock and political warfare, there's been a lot of blasting going on at ground zero recently. The most complex real estate deal in human history has finally been struck, the politicians have stepped out of the way, and Dr. Dynamite's on the scene. The third in a series of exclusive reports.
September 1, 2006... YOU'VE NEVER TRULY HEARD "In-a-Gadda-da-Vida" until you've listened to it just past 1:00 a.m. on a sweet-soaked summer night, cranked through the cracked speaker of a boom box perched atop a scaffold set on the gravel ballast behind the crash...

Merv Griffin: talk-show host, game-show creator, entrepreneur, 81, Beverly Hills.(Interview)
September 1, 2006... * I'm nosy. Just plain old nosy. * I've been very fortunate with my health. I smoke. I drink--not heavily, but I like my wine. I don't exercise. I take a cab to a cab. It's all in your DNA. * Bette Davis said, "Old age is not for...

The Esquire 10.(must have products)
September 1, 2006... Let's get this straight: You don't need any of these items. Had you never heard of them, you would have plodded on adequately, perhaps even blissfully. But we've gone and wrecked that. Here, we present ten things you may not need but now simply...

Esquire's 2006: world records for men.
September 1, 2006... Lamest reason to have an energy drink: Justin Spitzer, Traverse City, 0Michigan, who gulped down three Red Bulls so he could try and "get to the bottom of this sudoku thing." Most lawns mowed shirtless before realizing sunscreen's "not for...