Esquire articles from September 2004

Esquire archives from September 2004

Sony Cierge.(Style agenda: a special promotion for esquire readers)(Brief Article)(Advertisement)
September 1, 2004... For the pampered man who wants the latest electronics gadgets, membership in Sony's prestigious Cierge personal shopping program is a truly unique experience. This by-invitation-only program offers members a premium level of service and...

Tourneau.(Style agenda: a special promotion for esquire readers)(Brief Article)(Advertisement)
September 1, 2004... Tourneau is the world's largest watch store featuring over 100 world famous brands in more than 8,000 styles. Visit www.tourneau.com for store locations or call our Shop-At-Home service at 800.348,3332. Featured: Tourneau Gotham Marina,...

CHROME by Azzaro.(Style agenda: a special promotion for esquire readers)(Brief Article)(Advertisement)
September 1, 2004... Keep the special man in your life smelling great with this gift set from CHROME by Azzaro: a 1.7 oz. Eau de Toilette Spray, 2.5 oz. After Shave Balm, 2.5 oz. All Over Shampoo, and a 2.5 oz. Energizing Body Gel. Valued at $82.00, it retails for...

Moreschi.(Style agenda: a special promotion for esquire readers)(Brief Article)(Advertisement)
September 1, 2004... Moreschi has been creating luxurious Italian men's footwear for almost six decades. The company's impressive range of exotic leathers and meticulous craftsmanship appeal to men of discerning taste. Moreschi shoes are sold in more than 70...

Crobar = nightlife.(Style agenda: a special promotion for esquire readers)(Brief Article)(Advertisement)
September 1, 2004... Claim Your Nightlife at crobar New York/Chicago/Miami for an unparalleled nightlife experience internationally renowned for breaking all boundaries. The multi level techno savvy design propels club-goers into an interactive nightlife scene...

Bullie--exceptional skin care for men.(Style agenda: a special promotion for esquire readers)(bulliecare.com)(Brief Article)(Advertisement)
September 1, 2004... Gentlemen, healthy skin and appearance are part of a notable man's lifestyle. Bullie wishes to help you safeguard and nurture your epidermis so your shield against bacteria and your presentation to the world remains youthful and fit. Only...

The sound and the fury.(Letter to the Editor)
September 1, 2004... CYCLING'S MOST FAMOUS FACE, Lance Armstrong, headlined our survival-themed July issue, as we captured images of his grueling training regimen. Inside, Robert Kurson followed the dangerous deep-sea identification of a mysterious sunken U-boat...

Father-free zone.(Letter to the Editor)
September 1, 2004... An Indefensible Position advocating that dads be relieved of their delivery-room obligation got some surprisingly mixed female response (Man at His Best, July). I am in full agreement. Unless a man has a profound urge to witness his...

The women you love survey.(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... Who's the sexiest Bush daughter? The hottest reality-show babe? The Loveliest Democrat? The prettiest Republican? Your favorite female news anchor? Movie start Felon? And the most beautiful woman on the planet?

Rehabbing music.(Letter to the Editor)
September 1, 2004... In July's music section (Man at His Best), columnist Andy Langer provoked the ire of sensitive Wilco fans when he poked fun at lead singer Jeff Tweedy, and cultural advisor John Mayer offered suggestions to industry executives desperately...

Misogyny and loafers.(Letter to the Editor)
September 1, 2004... Answer Fella stood up for men everywhere in July (Man at His Best) when he counseled a reader to ignore his wife's sartorial harping. Hey, AF. I like your advice generally, but don't you think you might be awfully misogynistic, referring to...

Bridging the gap.(Letter to the Editor)
September 1, 2004... Months after military strategist Thomas P. M. Barnett offered foreign-policy advice to George W. Bush ("Mr. President, Here's How to Make Sense of Our Iraq Strategy," June), the letters keep coming in. The "Gap/Core" theory is a sick...

Arts, crafts, and sodomy.(Inmate Letter Of The Month)(Letter to the Editor)
September 1, 2004... Asked if white-collar criminals truly serve "hard" time, Answer Fella responded with bad news for Martha 5teuJart (Man at His Best, July). We received a firsthand rebuttal, however, that offers a more positive outlook. I must disagree with...

Nick Sullivan welcoming party.(By invitati only: a special promotion for esquire readers)(Brief Article)(Advertisement)
September 1, 2004... On May 12th, Esquire Editor in Chief David Granger & Esquire Publisher Kevin C. O'Malley hosted a welcoming party for Esquire's new Fashion Director Nick Sullivan at the ultra posh Hotel Gansevoort in New York City. The fashion event drew...

Crunch time.(Editor's Letter)(Editorial)
September 1, 2004... I'VE BEEN THINKING a lot about President Bush these days. It's commonplace to hear people say that he's the most divisive, polarizing president we've known. But this is the first time in my life that a president has managed to forestall the...

Funny * joke from a beautiful woman.(Man at His Best)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotopus. As told by ANNA FRIEL About the jokester: Anna Friel wants you to know that she told Esquire another, far dirtier joke. It involved a bottle of custard and two "completely stark...

The awards: the seven most remarkable things in culture this month.(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... (1) Least Believable Trend Fat guys and their hot wives on CBS. (2) Most Prescient Insult "Mushroom [mouscheron, French]: An upstart; a wretch risen from the dung hill; a director of a company." --From Samuel Johnson's...

Two tough broads: with career-defining albums out this month, Kasey Chambers and Tift Merritt are about to crash the gates of music's boys' club.(Music)
September 1, 2004... ALMOST TEN YEARS AGO, as a way to explain the racial split over O. J., a study of TV ratings famously revealed that of the top ten television shows among blacks and whites, only Monday Night Football was on both lists. Do that kind of poll...

This month's lesson: search and recovery.(Music Lessons with John Mayer)
September 1, 2004... THERE'S GOOD MUSIC, and then there's music you like. For me, Teitur's Poetry & Aeroplanes goes two for two. The album was released in July of last year, and by record-industry standards, it's dead. Buying this disc now qualifies as search and...

The two amigos: Y Tu Mama Tambien gave Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna the same big break--with nearly opposite results.(Movies)
September 1, 2004... POP QUIZ, HOTSHOT. You are a young, boyishly handsome, vaguely effeminate Mexican actor. Your latest film, in which you play a callow horndog tooling around the countryside with his very best amigo and a sexy, accommodating older woman, has...

Celluloid style 2004 film competition.(Advertisement)
September 1, 2004... In January of 2004, Esquire announced the launch of Celluloid Style, a film competition created to champion the work of talented student filmmakers from the East and West coasts. Throughout the following pages, you will meet those...

The rules.(Movies)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... RULE NO. 323: If you're in a strip club and a girt says she's gonna call the manager over, your night just I got less fun. RULE NO. 551: Flavored dental floss should never be sweeter than the foods you wish to remove. RULE NO. 912: The angrier...

Political arsonist.(Books)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... With acerbic acuity and incendiary wit, illustrator Steve Brodner has spent the past three decades singeing the Washington elite with little more than a pack of colored pencils. Upon the release of his first collection of political art, Freedom...

Really short reviews.(Books)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... >> Really Short Reviews 1. The Secret Goldfish (Fourth Estate, $23), by David Means. With stunning simplicity, Means offers 15 stirring portraits of tragedy, loss, and love. 2. Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer (Crown, $24), by Warren St. John. While...

Found postcards.(Books)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... The evocative stories that make up Pulitzer-prize-winning author Robert Olen Butter's latest collection, Had a Good Time (Grove, $23), mere inspired by postcard messages like these, written in a bygone American era. 1) "This is where the...

Big important book of the month.(Books)(Brief Article)(Book Review)
September 1, 2004... FOR ALL ITS Gen X trappings, Arthur Phillips's first novel, Prague, was essentially an old-school novel of ideas, a retro gabfest populated by the well-educated, the hyperarticulate. Its characters drank brandy, mourned the passing of youth,...

Where am I? Our disoriented director fights back with the latest in GPS.(The Digital Man)
September 1, 2004... SWEETIE (THE WIFE) AND I are at our Telluride, Colorado, home, avoiding the traffic jams, angst, and bad manners that a summer in the Hamptons represents. Since Telluride offers both hiking and driving adventures, I asked Esquire to send me...

What's in your netflix queue?(The Digital Man)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... 1] E. T.: Who can resist the story of an adorable talking testicle from outer space? 2] The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas: Dolly's version of "I Will Always Love You" beats Whitney's every time. 3] Convoy: Cell phones seem to have replaced CB...

Transcendent steak.(Food & Drink)(recipes)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... AND CHEAP, TOO. A typical flank steak--about a pound and a half, more than enough for two committed carnivores--shouldn't cost more than 12 bucks. Start marinading Sunday afternoon, September 5, to ensure perfection on Labor Day. >>...

Wine math: we've done the calculations. This is the bottle of the month. Try it with the flank steak.(Food & Drink)(chile)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... DATES + CINNAMON + MOLASSES-CURED BACON = CONCHA Y TORO CASILLERO DEL DIABLO CARMENERE, CHILE ($14) [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

The G.O.P. guide to New York City restaurants.(Food & Drink)(a list of restaurants best avoided )(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... Dear Conventioneers, After consultation with our Big Apple corporate donors, Dick Cheney and Karl Rove have issued a list of restaurants best avoided while you're in New York: * ELAINE'S: Upper East Side hangout run by liberal Jewish...

How to fold a t-shirt: or, how to channel your inner ninja at the laundromat.(Style)
September 1, 2004... I'M NO NINJA WHEN IT COMES TO LAUNDRY. Sure, I can measure a cup of Tide, finish the job with a sheet of Snuggle, and even separate my whites. Momma taught this boy well. No, my problem with laundry is that while I can fold a pair of jeans or...

If you never buy another: tie.(Style)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... THE 14-MICRON TIE BY KITON has the memory of an elephant. Not the kind of memory that will help you pass the bar exam or outwit an auditor, but the kind of memory that allows you to throw it in a suitcase or shove it into your pocket without...

The guru: sound sartorial advice from Bill Hancock, style expert.(Style)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... Questions of the month: I've noticed recently that lots of well-dressed men are forgoing belts. Can I pull this off? MY NAME would not be Bill Hancock if I didn't have a worthy selection of brightly striped collegiate belts and cowboy and...

The endorsement: Barbasol.(Manly Page; Queer Eye's Ted Allen)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... ARE YOU CONSIDERING a career in the exciting new field of gay-reality-makeover cable television? Good for you, tiger! Suddenly, you'll notice people hollering things at you from across the street like "[your name], Miami loves you!" and my...

The rules.(Manly Page)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... RULE NO. 32: The fatter the friend, the more he or she will lecture you on dietary advice. RULE NO. 87: Do not antagonize a man with an eye patch. RULE NO. 736: No one's ever gotten laid by wearing pins with funny sayings, RULE NO. 812: As a...

Brutally honest personals.(Manly Page)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... Laurel R. Age: 46 Height: 5' Weight: 140 Occupation: Retired paralegal/Web designer/ personal trainer Location: Walnut Creek, California Sexual history: Before I got married, I kept the names of men I slept with in a...

Real Kings, stoned puppies, tray tables & boring parties.(Answer Fella)
September 1, 2004... ESQUIRE'S ANSWER FELLA believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don't ask questions, fearing they'll took stupid. So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn't know the answer, he'll find out who does, or who has a...

The casual combo: the smarter you layer, the smarter you look.(the Esquire Guide)
September 1, 2004... With fall approaching and winter not that faraway, it's time to give your closet a workout. And these next few months are full of opportunity, a chance to combine your favorite pieces into something sharp, comfortable, and incredibly flexible....

The definitive style rules: layering.(the Esquire Guide)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... 1. Unless you Live in Palm Springs, fall and winter weather is rarely predictable. So take a cue from mountaineers: Three thin lagers are better than one thick one. 2. The closer to your skin, the thinner the material. 3. A lager can...

The 10 essentials: because in an age of mass consumption, what a man needs most is a shorter wish list.(The Esquire Catalog)
September 1, 2004... (1) THE CARTIER SANTOS 100 Now and then, a new watch appears with the ingredients to be an instant fashion classic. Cartier's Santos 100 is a very beefy update of the 1978 Santos de Cartier and the hundred-gear commemoration of the first-ever...

A taste of Italy: presented by William Grant & Sons.(Special Advertising Section)(Advertisement)
September 1, 2004... "Italy is for wine lovers of every stripe-from its bargain Sangiovese reds for every day, to the monumental Brunellos and super-Sicilian reds for your cellar, you can mark any occasion, from simple to special, with Italian wine: --ANDREA IMMER,...

The Esquire retail 100.(Promotion)(Directory)(Advertisement)
September 1, 2004... America's Finest Menswear Specialty Stores Esquire enjoys a unique relationship with America's leading retailers. With outstanding service, a focus on quality, and a broad range of leading brands, these stores help you to invest wisely as...

Who you callin' normal? In which a clan of vodka-swilling bounty hunters from Long Island teams up with reality television to teach us an important lesson about ourselves.(America)(Family Bonds)
September 1, 2004... THIS IS GOING TO BE a column about reality TV. More specifically, it's going to be about a reality program called Family Bonds. And even more specifically, it's going to be about how we are in the midst of a golden age that is unprecedented in...

Ten things you don't know about women.(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... 1. We love the fact that it takes you only twelve minutes to set ready for anything, be it black tie or a basketball game. When it takes longer than that... what are you doing in there? 2. A good plan (i.e., dinner reservations) makes for...

Barry's bats: is Barry juiced? His bat certainty is--by some of the meanest wood on the continent. Barry's bat's are made by Sam, and without Sam we might not be talking as much about Barry.(The Game; Barry Bonds' batmaker Sam Holman)(Interview)
September 1, 2004... SAM HOLMAN WAS IN A HOTEL ROOM IN BOSTON when Barry called. It was August 2001, by Sam's best recollection, which even on the clearest mornings can be a little murky. Doesn't matter much. They were dog days anyhow. He'd been killing an...

The King who can't be killed: Michael Eisner's amazing staying power is due in part to his uncanny eye for successors who can't succeed.(The Industry)
September 1, 2004... ONE EVENING back in 1996, Michael Ovitz went to a three-hour private dinner in New York with Disney executive Bob Igor and his wife. According to Ovitz, then suffering through a term as Disney's president that still lives in infamy, Iger...

Sex.
September 1, 2004... * I have a large penis. How can I convey this information to women who are interested in such things without sounding Like, well, a big dick? I can't promise anything, but I might be able to get you one of David Lee Roth's old unitards. In...

The restless man.(Read Adventures for Regular Guys)
September 1, 2004... THIS MONTH: Climbing giant trees WHERE: Western Oregon DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY: Squat, reach skyward, then stand--a thousand times. You're good to go. COST OF THREE-DAY WEEKEND: $750 (plus airfare) DEGREE OF FUN: Vertical...

Sports-drink smackdown.(Getting Better)(Illustration)(Buyers Guide)
September 1, 2004... FULL DISCLOSURE: I recently walked two miles in 105 degree heat to buy a four-pack of Red Bull Sugarfree. Though some people argue that taking away the sugar is akin to taking away the kick, the opposite is true. A rush of sugar to the...

On sayin' Grace.(A 30-Second Sermon)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... MY KIDS DON'T KNOW anything about not havin'. They don't know what it's like to open a refrigerator and see nothin' inside. And I don't want to teach them a lesson by not putting anything in the refrigerator. So I'll look at the food laid out...

The November fifteen: you never recover from the kind of torture me endured.(Fiction)(Short Story)
September 1, 2004... THEY TOOK FIFTEEN OF US AWAY, but fewer than half came back. They rounded us up one night in our homes and drove us blindfolded in several vans for an hour or more to what looked-when they removed the blindfolds-like an abandoned factory. I...

The best (dressed) men in the world.
September 1, 2004... IN OUR CONTINUING QUEST TO LEARN FROM THE FINEST, Esquire has combed the earth in search of the best dressed man. We scanned every square mile of the globe, from the tip of Africa to the beaches of Mexico. What we found was a group of men who...

Wrestling with Bush: history will be the president's ultimate judge. In the meantime, three very different conservatives grapple with a second Bush term.
September 1, 2004... A Conservative's Dilemma By TUCKER CARLSON SIX AND A HALF YEARS after I first met him, I still don't know what I think of George W. Bush. Initially, I was won over by him. In interviews, he was relaxed yet unapologetic about his...

The case against George W. Bush: the son of the fortieth president of the United States takes a hard look at the son of the forty-first and does not like what he sees.
September 1, 2004... IT MAY HAVE BEEN THE GUY IN THE HOOD teetering on the stool, electrodes clamped to his genitals. Or smirking Lynndie England and her leash. Maybe it was the smarmy memos tapped out by soft-fingered lawyers itching to justify such barbarism. The...

Dr Kahhay de Matayohh Drea De Matteo has flipped, trading The Sopranos for the NBC sitcom Joey. But we couldn't resist asking her to inform one last time--Adriana style--on her personal life.(A Woman We Love)(Interview)
September 1, 2004... For having been brutally killed in a Sopranos shocker last season, Drea de Matteo is doing pretty well. The thick-accented, big-haired Adrianna is soon to be resurrected as Gina Tribbiani, the thick-accented, big-haired sister of Matt LeBlanc....

Areas of detail: true style is all about getting your key areas, from your neck to your ankle, just right. To give you a leg up, Esquire zeroes in on your body's six most important zones and shows how to make them work for you.(Esquire Style)
September 1, 2004... The Waist As young men get into tailoring like never before, designers are making more fitted suit jackets and narrower pants than ever. Whether your preferred style is strict and classic or modern with no more than a slight passing curve...

ESPN Television network, 25, Bristol, Connecticut.(What I've Learned)
September 1, 2004... The difference between sports now and when we started is bigger, stronger, faster athletes. Overhyped events. Different drugs. More sex. And a lot more money. [1] Sports is a little less pure now than it was when I was thirteen. But then,...

Last tango in Cleveland: the battle of the sexes.
September 1, 2004... The guy in the photograph--that potbellied pug who just got knocked cockeyed. C'est moi, as the French featherweight Gus Flaubert used to say, out on a bad first date. Although, as things turned out, I did score a goodnight kiss. The...

The Esquire quiz: what's your sexual IQ? Do you know your Astroglide from your exhibitionism? Take this quiz from Esquire's Institute of Copulative Studies to find out whether you're a sex genius or a sex simpleton.
September 1, 2004... 1 The sperm and egg usually meet... (A) in the vagina. (B) in the uterus. (C) in the fallopian tubes. (D) at the Outback Steakhouse. 2 Bill Maher has a $50 bill. He gets change from Fred Durst and tips the valet at the...

Field trip: the fitted silhouettes and uptown feel of fall's finest suits and coats will have you looking razor sharp in the boardroom, even when your commute to the office takes a slight detour.
September 1, 2004... 8:07 A.M. Three-button wool suit ($2,295), cotton shirt ($425), and silk tie ($105) by Giorgio Armani; leather shoes ($595) by J. M. Weston; leather briefcase ($780) by Salvatore Ferragamo. 8:21 A.M. Three-button ($2,100) and...

The hard way: living in the wilderness for months at a time, hauling cargo to far-flung outposts, Patrick Brown has been attacked, bitten, stampeded, and has run for his life. But when it's your ass on the line, you better hope it's him coming for you.
September 1, 2004... Damn spirited of Walt to join the manhunt, but maybe he ought to stick to flying the plane. We're buzzing way too tight over the mountains for him to keep squirming around like that, jabbing his finger at the pines nearly brushing the belly of...

Travel tips for turbulent times.(This Way Out)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2004... HOW TO KEEP A LOW PROFILE: Fig. 1 ENDEAVOR TO DRESS IN NATIVE ATTIRE. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Fig. 2 CONSIDER LEAVING THOSE LITTLE FLAGS AT HOME. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Fig. 3. TRY TO ACT FRENCH. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]...