Esquire articles from September 2003

Esquire archives from September 2003

One-line wonders.
September 1, 2003... Since its founding seven decades ago, Esquire has published millions of sentences, in next month's seventieth-anniversary issue, we'll reprint the seventy best of thorn, including pithy zingers and poetic ruminations from Ernest Hemingway,...

Two things. (editor's letter).(Esquire celebrates its seventieth anniversary; death of writer David Newman)
September 1, 2003... In this issue we begin the celebration of Esquire's seventieth anniversary. In the more than six years I've been working here, we've made a point of rarely invoking Esquire's past. Yes, I started reading the magazine in the late seventies. And,...

Swapping his trademark. (the sound & the fury).(Letter to the Editor)
September 1, 2003... Terminator shades for a Washington-issue repp tie and suit, bodybuilder-cum-Hollywood-star-cum-civic-activist-cum-electoral-hopeful Arnold Schwarzenegger struck an Uncle Sam pose on the cover of our July issue. While many readers agreed that...

The J word. (the sound & the fury).(Letter to the Editor)
September 1, 2003... Writer at large Scott Raab's intimate and exclusive look at the reclusive musical genius Phil Spector in the days following the mysterious death of actress Lana Clarkson in his foyer ("Be My, Be My Baby," July) drew strong praise from readers....

They parrot, you decide. (the sound & the fury).(Letter to the Editor)
September 1, 2003... Contributing editor Tom Carson's scathing critique of the media's coverage of the Iraq war (The Screen, July) drew the approval of readers who wondered where all the skeptics had gone. After being blindsided in March by Esquire's...

Remembering Reagan. (the sound & the fury).(Letter to the Editor)
September 1, 2003... Ron Reagan's account of coming of age under the gaze of his presidential father ("My Father's Memories," June) drew sharply contrasting responses from readers, some bestowing praise upon the Gipper and thanking Ron for his intimate...

What liberal media? (the sound & the fury).(Letter to the Editor)
September 1, 2003... After a slew of recent articles featuring the GOP elite, one reader wondered whether The Weekly Standard's William Kristol had taken over Esquire as well. Rudy, Ronnie, Arnie... what is this, The Monthly Standard? If I wanted GOP agitprop...

The musical landscape. (the sound & the fury).(Letter to the Editor)
September 1, 2003... Our "American Music 2003" (July) offered music lovers the tools to seek out the best in music from Washington state to Washington, D. C., as well as an exclusive interview with Steve Jobs, the CEO of Apple and the mastermind behind Apple's new...

Correction.(Correction Notice)
September 1, 2003... In the July issue, Esquire neglected to credit the photographer of the style feature "New Canaan, Connecticut." That story was photographed by Brian Finke.

Man at his best.(Jacinda Barrett appreciated)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... Here, the essential things a man should know about Jacinda Barrett so that he can hold his own during upcoming Jacinda Barrett--based cocktail conversations. * The Australia native is the only human being on planet earth to leap from...

A: the ten most remarkable things in culture this month. (the awards).(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... 1 Most Oxymoronic Book Idea British Food: An Extraordinary Thousand Years of History --A new tome by Colin Spencer 2 Best Endorsement Deal Reebok, which endorsed a baby basketball player, Mark Walker, with a straight face....

Play the tables in Vegas.(interactive tabletops at MGM Grand Hotel's lounge Tabu )(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... The MGM Grand has traded its Wizard of Oz kitsch for Tabu, a trendy lounge with four of the smartest tables anywhere. Designed by Reactrix Systems, the interactive tabletops let you manipulate their surfaces: Place your drink down and a pile of...

A killer bar. (travel).(Waterfront Seafood and Bar)(Bar Review)
September 1, 2003... There's a sign at the Waterfront Seafood & Bar that prohibits loitering. There's another that sternly states the rules about cashing checks. But there's no poster telling customers not to stab, asphyxiate, shoot, or sever heads. This could be...

The world's longest golf hole. (travel).(planned for Chocolay Downs Golf Course, Marquette, Michigan)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... MAYBE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, BUT MEN SEEM TO HAVE SOME SORT OF OBSESSION with length. Don't ask us why. But we do know this: The latest, most vicious measuring contest is taking place on the world's golf courses. [paragraph] According to The...

The rules.
September 1, 2003... Rule No. 276: The funniest tent is the yurt followed by the tepee and the wigwam. Rule NO. 321: There is no shame in a really good banana pudding. Rule NO. 322: There is only mild shame in a macchiato. Rule No. 410: Popular boys have bad...

7 shocking things we learned from women's magazines. (the opposite sex).(humor)
September 1, 2003... (1) SHE'S A LESBIAN! Women buy bikinis, so it makes sense that magazines devoted to fashion would have pictures of women wearing bikinis. But blond twins wearing bikinis while soaping and spraying a Rolls-Royce--and each other--as Marie Claire...

Two more books for your shelf. (books).(Parasites Like Us; Chasing the Sea: Lost Among the Ghosts of Empire in Central Asia )(Book Review)(Brief Review)
September 1, 2003... In Adam Johnson's fantastically twisted and terrifying first novel, Parasites Like Us (Viking, $25), a past-his-prime anthropologist and two of his students dig up something they wish they hadn't. Tom Bissell's beguiling debut, a...

Topless-woman-lounging-under-furniture photo of the month. (books).(Kartell: 150 Items, 150 Artworks)(Book Review)
September 1, 2003... If you've got that unstoppable urge to buy an upscale design book, might we recommend Kartell: 150 Items, 150 Artworks (Skira/Rizzoli, $50). The furniture company Kartell hired famous photographers such as Bruce Weber and Helmut Newton to take...

Big important book of the month. (books).(War Against the Weak: Eugenics and America's Campaign to Create a Master Race)(Book Review)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... EDWIN BLACK, the author of the radical and revelatory IBM and the Holocaust, is a dangerous man. He tells us things we don't want to hear, like, for instance, this: "The scientific rationales that drove killer doctors at Auschwitz were first...

Ads infinitum. (books).(Footnotes)(Book Review)
September 1, 2003... SHOE DESIGNER KENNETH COLE'S witty, provocative ads--often written with major contributions from Attila the Pun--have given his wares a noticeable sheen. Great advertising always benefits the product that way: Food tastes more delicious, cars...

The Esquire retail 100: America's finest menswear specialty stores. (Advertisement).(Directory)
September 1, 2003... Shopping at a great specialty store is a fun and rewarding experience. The more you visit, the more you discover, and it is always a pleasure to be in an environment that reflects your tastes, needs, and interests. With outstanding service, a...

Don't look down.(Tissot Silen-T watch)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... For anyone who's ever been unable to glance at his watch because it might suggest that he has something better to do than listen to a complete rundown of the company-wide sexual-harassment policy (again!), the Tissot Silen-T is a miracle. With...

The curiously thin mints. (the merchandise).(breath freshening strips)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... I'M A MORNING PERSON, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'm saying. Sadly, my lady friend sleeps like a drunken sophomore until at least 9:00 A.M. In a desperate attempt to rouse her, I popped these crazy new breath strips over a series of mornings, then made...

The oddest TVs. (the merchandise).(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... While we're not always sure what contemporary design has to do with us, throw a projector or a plasma TV in there and we're listening. Case in point: Flowing Landscapes. With its Jetsonian vision, its arty name, and the entertainment tech built...

Trend of two: smell like booze.(Margarita Madness body scrub offered at Las Vegas' Palms Casino )(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... The spa at the Palms Casino in Las Vegas is now offering a Margarita Madness body scrub, a gender-neutral exfoliating treatment that, thank God, wastes no actual tequila. ($60 to $65 per treatment; 702-942-6938.) For those who wish to exude the...

The frugal man: $2 wine. (food & drink).(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... WHEN WE HEAR "two-dollar wine," we naturally think of those berry-flavored, screw-top syrups we used to chug back in high school. But if you believe the hype comingout of California (and who doesn't?), wine maker Charles Shaw has produced a...

Future foods. (food & drink).(humorous piece on genetically engineered foods)
September 1, 2003... This spring, the ominous-sounding Syngenta corporation introduced the world's first miniwatermelon, an adorable seedless sucker about the size of a cantaloupe. Below are six equally overengineered foods making their way onto store shelves in...

Create your own colorful expression!(mocking Dan Rather's way with words)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... Mix and match some of Dan Rather's favorite words to add texture to your mournfully bland speech. First, choose one of Rather's preferred adjectives or verbs (eat, tight, hot, squalid, doing back flips, shaky, mow the lawn, long, bark). Pair it...

Things people pretend to like but really hate. (opinions).
September 1, 2003... * brown rice * Wynton Marsalis * any Marsalis * baseball * Coldplay * Matthew Barney * James Joyce * Wolf Blitzer * eggplant

The endorsement: self-googling. (opinions).(entering one's name on Internet search engine Google )(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... MEDITATION IS SO ANALOG. The digital path to self-discovery lies in another portal. Instead of using Google to find symptoms of monkey pox, type in your own name. Self-absorbed, yes, but it's also the only way to see the impression you've made...

The lost art of the colorful metaphor. (opinions).(Dan Rather on his love of language)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... THIS MAY BE ABOUT AS INTERESTING as watching windshield wipers wipe, but I've always had a thing for language. Ever since I can remember, I've reveled in learning new words--not just their meaning, but the sound of them, too. Sometimes a...

Whale meat, lecherous movies & guido the killer pimp. (answer fella).(Questions and Answers)
September 1, 2003... ESQUIRE'S ANSWER FELLA believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don't ask questions, fearing they'll look stupid. So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn't know the answer, he'll find out who does, or who has a...

70 years of esquire style: on the occasion of Esquire's seventieth birthday, a quick look back at the stylish legacy of an American icon.(men's fashion in the 20th Century )
September 1, 2003... "We are are dealing here, after all, with one of the three essentials of life, the one that comes after food and ahead of shelter," said founding editor Arnold Gingrich about why style played a huge part in Esquire from its creation in 1933....

The guide. (what to wear now).(black turtleneck)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... Back in Black This is not a beatnik uniform. The true beat poets--Ginsberg, Snyder--weren't tiptoeing around underground bars wearing matching black knitwear. Somehow the sweater get that sensitive-poet reputation, though, and it wasn't...

Stepxstep. (solutions).(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... The Details Two button wool-blend sport coat ($995), silk-and-wool tie ($95), cotton shirt ($165), and cotton trousers ($185) by CORNELIANI; cashmere sweater ($655) by BRUNELLO CUCINELLI; leather belt ($185) and leather ankle boots ($850) by A....

High. (the over-under: parkas).(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... Warm and fuzzy The fur-trimmed parka has a lot of friends. Eskimos came up with the basic idea. Then the jacket made time with sixties mods, who threw them over neat, narrow suits. Skiers started sporting them in 1965, when men's magazines...

Low. (the over-under: parkas).(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... Tommy Hilfiger, $345 Fur-trimmed hooded wool parka. Gant, $595 Fur-trimmed hooded cotton-and-nylon parka. D&G,$440 Fur-trimmed hooded cotton parka.

The least-bad shows of the new season tv. (the index).(Arrested Development; The Handler; The Office; Whoopi; A Minute with Stan Hooper )(Television Program Review)
September 1, 2003... NEW SHOWS WE WON'T BE COVERING THIS MONTH Two and a Half Men, with Charlie Sheen as a swinging bachelor bonding with a ten-year-old boy... Tru Calling, about a young woman on speaking terms with dead people... Wonderfalls, about a teenage girl...

Anatomy of a failure: Annika Sorenstam triumphed in some ways. But it was too late when she finally decided to do what she needed to compete. (the game).(golfer )
September 1, 2003... THE BUBBAS FANNED OUT WITH THE coming of the Texas dawn, the whole biggutted regiment taking its place by the Colonial's buttonhole tenth tee, kicking off the day by cracking open a couple of cold ones to go with gourmet hamburgers near enough...

The gear.(running shoes: Nike Zoom Spiridons)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... I WAS GOING TO RUN, then it rained. I was hungover. It was muggy. My shoes weren't right. Then I got myself a pair of Nike Zoom Spiridons. They're made from some space-age material the company calls "mesh," which makes them as comfortable as...

Need a tout? (The Betting Man).(tout services, online information on sports gambling )
September 1, 2003... FOOTBALL SEASON IS HERE. It's going to be bloody. Tout services--businesses that sell gambling advice--cockroach the country each season in numbers Carl Sagan couldn't have pronounced. You've seen their pitches that crow about "75 percent...

The eccentrics: Tywanna Jo Baskette's debut album is the kind of charmingly bizarre, record that,comes, around only once a year. Lucky for you, she not alone. (music).(Truly She Is None Other; Fancy Blue)(Sound Recording Review)
September 1, 2003... NASHVILLE SINGER-SONGWRITER Tywanna Jo Baskette's "I Love Goat Cheese" is the best song about goat cheese ever written. And there's more where that cante from: Her other left-field musings tackle lung cancer, escaped parakeets, and pink...

Five more records worth your lunch money. (music).(Chain Gang of Love; Phantom Power; It still Moves; Fate's Right Hand; Another One Lost)(Sound Recording Review)
September 1, 2003... Super Furry Animals, Phantom Power (XL/Beggars Group). Not to be confused with plushie freaks, these self-proclaimed "kaleidoscopic surrealists" deliver another set of satisfying surround-sound pop, proving that splitting the difference between...

The credible Hulk: American splendor is already a critics' darling. Question is: Is this romanticized biopic of one of our great freaks any good? Also: Sofia Coppola and Val Kilmer. (the screen).(Lost in Translation; Wonderland )(Movie Review)
September 1, 2003... BY LOTS OF STANDARDS, HARVEY PEKAR is a crank. But if all cranks were this humane and observant, we'd need another word for them--like artists, maybe. His autobiographical comic book, American Splendor, has been chronicling his life as a...

(q&a): Campbell Scott. (the screen).(Brief Article)(Interview)
September 1, 2003... * After playing a sleazy, hyper articulate bachelor in last year's Rodger Dodger, Campbell Scott reverses roles as a cuckolded suburban dad in Alan Rudolph's The Secret Lives of Dentists. The actor produced both movies and will add another...

Barry Sonnenfeld's gadget of the month. (the screen).(Sony Ericsson T610; iGo charging system)
September 1, 2003... LAST WEEK I was forced to leave my home in East Hampton, New York, and spend three days in L. A. to discuss directing a movie. Unless I'm at home, I am not a relaxed guy. In fact, everytime I successfully get off an airplane, I view it as a...

Resurrection TV.(Trio network rerunning originally rejected quality television shows)(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... MAYBE IT'S NOT TV that sucks, it's us. Last December, under the banner Brilliant, But Canceled, cable's Trio network reran a handful of edgy old shows that the public dissed when they first aired. We liked them on the second go, though. So Trio...

My penis is too damn big for my wife. Any suggestions? (sex).
September 1, 2003... First, make absolutely certain that your "wife" is not just a plastic baggie with hand lotion in it. If not, the problem might be that she is not sufficiently aroused for intercourse, since a healthy vagina can stretch to accommodate the...

Fightin' Mike: the worst fights in Hollywood are the ones that shouldn't have happened at all. Often, those are the Michael Eisner fights. .(Interview)
September 1, 2003... "NEVER HAVE A FRIEND IN THIS TOWN." For years, that was Michael Eisner's mantra. And whether it's because of those words or in spite of them, Eisner has proven to be almost indestructible. He has survived more peril than Summer Redstone,...

How to break into the industry. .(That's showbiz.)(Interview)
September 1, 2003... THIRTY-THREE IS YOUNG to write one's memoirs, but Jamie Kennedy endured a lifetime of humiliation before landing The Jamie Kennedy Experiment. We asked the author of wannabe: A Hollywood Experiment (August, Citadel Press) for some tips on...

(10 things you don't know about women).(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... 1. The quickest way to a woman's heart is through her clit. 2. When we say we want you to get in touch with your feminine side, we really mean you need to touch our clit. 3. When we ask you if we look fat, it really means "Can you see...

The awful truth: one day, a friend of mine was found murdered. She was a twenty-year-old junior at Kenyon. She'd finished work at a local bar and left with her tips. That's all anyone knew. .
September 1, 2003... IN ONE OF THE LAST WEEKS OF MY senior year at Kenyon College, Emily Murray invited me to her apartment for tea. She had blazing red hair in wide, looping curls and swirls and almost arabesques, and it felt silken, and it smelled faintly of what...

Gangs of New York, 2003.
September 1, 2003... FALL STYLE PREVIEW This fall, men's clothes are all about the music: From sixties mod to eighties hip-hop, classic rock to disco, designers copped the best of pop music's past. Esquire, in turn, toured the neighborhoods to find real people...

Don't you just want to punch Colin Farrell?(Interview)
September 1, 2003... IT TAKES COLIN FARRELL forty-eight seconds to call me a cunt. And even though I know Irish wannabe gangsters throw around the c word the way we toss out dude, there's still something about it--about him, really--that grates. Considering,...

The Esquire quiz: are you an asshole?
September 1, 2003... 1 Someone calls you and asks for a Mr. Pomerantz. What do you do? (A) Politely tell the caller that you're not Mr. Pomerantz and that he has the wrong number. (B) Use a Chinese accent and say, "No Pomerantz here!" and slam down the...

The 20-dollar millionaire hits the road: last winter, the twenty-dollar millionaire took on Manhattan to find out exactly what an Andrew Jackson will get you. This month, he takes on America.
September 1, 2003... A TWENTY SHOULD NOT BE A DARE. Some people might agree to leave their car keys in the urinal of a bar all night for twenty dollars, but then again, some people are not my friend Kilgore. No. The twenty is a ticket, a covenant between two...

The five-minute guide to ... cash.
September 1, 2003... Enough with the talk from futurists who predict that all financial transactions will soon be purely electronic. Don't bet on it. Bling, jack, scratch, bread, dead presidents, moolah, simoleons--there's just something too viscerally appealing...

The falling man: do you remember this photograph? In the United States, people have taken pains to banish it from the record of September 11, 2001. The story behind it, though, and the search for the man pictured in it, are our most intimate connection to the horror of that day.
September 1, 2003... IN THE PICTURE, he departs from this earth like an arrow. Although he has not chosen his fate, he appears to have, in his last instants of life, embraced it. If he were not falling he might very well be flying. He appears relaxed, hurtling...

R+d: she's well-read. She slayed us in a schoolgirl outfit. And she can do light construction; is it any wonder Rosario Dawson is a woman we love?(Interview)
September 1, 2003... Q+A In Hollywood, young starlets are as disposable as Wet-Naps. Sometimes breaking from the horde of pretty faces and prettier bodies requires a single star-making moment. Rosario Dawson has been in the biz ever since director Larry Clark...

My cancer story: the sequel: in December 2000, the author, then forty-three, was diagnosed with stage III colorectal cancer. A journal of his experiences ran in Esquire in six installments, May through October 2001. This is what's happened since ...(Column)
September 1, 2003... RE-INTRO, RE-ENTRY Two years since diagnosis, and I am cancer-free. Don't call myself a survivor... yet; feels too early. Don't call myself a "warrior," either. That's for the charity-fund appeal and pink-ribbon ad-campaign writers. But...

James Caan: what I've learned.(Interview)
September 1, 2003... [Actor, 63, Los Angeles] I'll bump into a guy in a bar, and he'll say, "I'm sorry, Sonny!" It's surreal. Nobody should give a shit about an actor's opinion on politics. One night I went over to get some dope from some Hollywood...

The red bow fiction. .(Short Story)
September 1, 2003... NEXT NIGHT, walking out where it happened, I found her little red bow. I brought it in, threw it down on the table, said: My God my God. Take a good look at it and also I'm looking at it, said Uncle Matt. And we won't ever forget it,...

Yoga for men. .(Brief Article)
September 1, 2003... Menshealthcoverasana The Suck in Your Gut Pose [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Batterupasana The Adjusting Sacred Jewels Pose [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Supercutsasana The Weedwacker Self-Grooming Pose [ILLUSTRATION...