Esquire articles from November 2006

Esquire archives from November 2006

This way in: the sound and the fury.
November 1, 2006... Our September issue included the Best Dressed Men in the World, the Best Dressed Real Men in America, and the fourth installment of this year's Sexiest Woman Alive pictorial. Sure, there also were headlines that didn't end with an est, stories...

The new bond.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
November 1, 2006... The September issue featured two articles about James Bond: a profile by senior associate editor David Katz on Daniel Craig, the British actor recently crowned the new 007 ("Bond Is Dead"), and contributing editor Chuck Klasterman's take on the...

Criminals or scapegoats?(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
November 1, 2006... Esquire writer at large Tom Junod offered a story on Sal and Mabel Mangano, proprietors of St. Rita's nursing home in New Orleans ("The Loved Ones," September). After the Mangonos chose not to evacuate the nursing home during Hurricane Katrina,...

Esquire loves babies, we promise.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
November 1, 2006... September's style feature "The Best Dressed Men in the World" included a small sidebar that named Sean Preston Federline, the infant son of Britney Spears, the worst-dressed "man" in the world. Fury ensued--especially after it was reported an...

A proper send-off.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
November 1, 2006... Thank you for the profoundly touching article by Tom Chiarella on writing a eulogy (Influence, September). I have been asked to deliver eulogies in the past, and I will keep Chiarella's article in my permanent file to help guide my way should I...

Your heart was racing? Sounds more like meth.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
November 1, 2006... Also in September, Kevin Fedarko wrote about the Djiboutian khat trade (Quest). The psychotropic drug is prevalent in nearly every segment of Djiboutian society. It's good to see that gonzo journalism is alive and well. My heart was...

We can't do everything.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
November 1, 2006... In September, actress Mary-Louise Parker suggested eleven songs that get her in the mood (A Woman We Love). Maybe first we should backtrack a little and run articles such as "How to Meet Mary-Louise Parker" and "How Not to Gush Like an...

Esquire readers: occasionally crude, always generous.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
November 1, 2006... I'd [physically express my love for] Mary-Louise Parker to any song on that list. And any other song she wanted. JASON RYDER Huntsville, Tex.

Sexiest?(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
November 1, 2006... Why is the Sexiest Woman Alive smoking (Part 4, September)? Why would she voluntarily defile that beautiful body? E. J. VIANNEY Orangeburg, S.C. I started subscribing last year and was pleased to see Jessica Biel named your...

Changing the country, 504 elections at a time.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY )
November 1, 2006... For "Esquire Endorses America. (page 192), we judged the merits of every major-party candidate for Senate, House, and governor in this fall's elections. Various terms were used to describe the project--a lot of them profane--but only one really...

Editor's letter.(This Way In)(Editorial)
November 1, 2006... THE LAST FEW decades have not been kind to fiction. Especially short fiction, which now finds itself sequestered primarily in little literary journals and, of course, The New Yorker. It staged back in the fifties and sixties, when the writers...

The Esquire fashion department: helping people, making a difference.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
November 1, 2006... I just got a promotion at work and need to look the part, which means I need suits. Suits that are timeless, not fashionable. Suits that are confident and powerful, but subtle--not ones that scream, "Look at me." So what suits and colors should...

Reader of the month.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
November 1, 2006... Okay, so the September issue made me do a lot of things. It made me want to keep an open mind about Daniel Craig, even though I'm probably taller than he is. It made me angry to think that the Manganos and the families of those who perished...

Michael Martone.(Those Responsible)
November 1, 2006... Author: "The Death of Derek Jeter," page 102 "I NEVER EVER WOULD have thought of a story called 'The Death of Derek Jeter.' I wasn't going to kill him. That was Esquire's idea," says writer Michael Martone, who was given only the title...

Paul Lingel.(Those Responsible)
November 1, 2006... Author: "The Collected Works of Paul Lingel," page 176 AT THE MAGAZINE, we get many submissions in the mail. Unfortunately, only a small fraction makes its way into these pages. But please, keep those stories and essays and copies of your...

Sheryl Nields.(Those Responsible)
November 1, 2006... Photographer: "The Sexiest Woman Alive," page 136 FOR FIFTEEN-YEAR-VETERAN L.A. photographer Sheryl Nields, sexiness "comes down to the look in a person's eye." So when we asked her to head to a trailer park (at her subject's request) and...

Funny * joke from a beautiful woman.(MAN AT HIS BEST: The Front)
November 1, 2006... A famous cardiologist died, and everyone was gathered at his funeral. His coffin was displayed in front of a huge model heart. When the minister finished his sermon and everyone said their goodbyes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled...

The leisure meter: how to allocate your free time this month.(MAN AT HIS BEST: THE FRONT)(Brief article)
November 1, 2006... Uploading pictures of yourself to myheritage. com, a Web site that compares your photo with a database of celebrity images and suggests which one you most resemble. 10 minutes Scouring your saved photos and uploading as many as it takes to...

One too many: twenty years after The Sportswriter, Richard Ford completes his trilogy of the American man.(THE FRONT: BOOKS)(Book review)
November 1, 2006... WITH THE LAY OF THE LAND (Knopf, $27), Richard Ford has finished a Frank Bascombe trilogy, which must be a relief, since by his own modest account he never intended to write three versions of what essentially is the same novel. He started the...

Manifest destiny (unrated and uncut).(THE FRONT: BOOKS)(Brief article)(Book review)
November 1, 2006... IT'S THE SCALPS that draw you in, pulled jubilantly from the heads of the freshly slain, sometimes-still-writhing bodies. And whether taken by Navajo streaking into Santa Fe in search of sheep or child slaves, or whites marching back into...

Moral quandary of the month.(THE FRONT: BOOKS)
November 1, 2006... These are complicated times. And photographer Sante D'Orazio's latest experiment in high-minded smut, Katlick School (teNeues, $65), doesn't make them any easier. Is it okay to gawk at sexy pictures of a Catholic schoolgirl? And what if she's...

Excerpt: what would MacGyver do?(THE FRONT: BOOKS)(Excerpt)
November 1, 2006... THIS NEW COLLECTION of stories (Hudson Street Press, $20), edited by our own Brendan Vaughan and featuring contributions by Esquire writers including A.J. Jacobs and Chuck Klosterman, is not strictly for geeks (although geeks will not be...

Ridley v. Tony: which Scott brother reigns supreme?(THE FRONT: THE SCREEN)
November 1, 2006... FRATERNAL COLLABORATION--in film, it's practically an epidemic. The Coen brothers. The Farrelly brothers. The Wachowski brothers (soon to be the Wachowski siblings, I guess, after Larry's rumored sex change?). For "urban" audiences, the Hughes...

Senator winfrey?(Chart)
November 1, 2006... IN MAN OF THE YEAR directed by Barry Levinson, a late-night talk-show host (Robin Williams) runs for president and unexpectedly wins. We asked Ron Faucheux, editor of Winning Elections, to weigh in on actual celebrities' chances of reaching...

Christopher Nolan.(Q&A)(Dialogue with Christopher Nolan )(Interview)(Brief article)
November 1, 2006... MEMENTO PUT HIM ON THE MAP, but Batman Begins gave writer-director Christopher Nolan the enviable title of Franchise Savior. Shooting on the next Dark Knight installment starts in January, but the 36-year-old Brit has also directed The...

2. Best reason to get the band back together.(The Awards)
November 1, 2006... 2 BEST REASON TO GET THE BAND BACK TOGETHER "She needs something to do besides embroidery, making snowflakes, and doing her little crafty stuff, you know... sleeping all day." --Ann Deal, mother of Pixies bassist Kim Deal, discussing...

A little bit louder now: a new documentary captures the strange and spectacular saga of an American band.(THE FRONT: MUSIC)(Shut Up & Sing )
November 1, 2006... THERE'S A SCENE in the new documentary Shut Up & Sing in which Natalie Maines, lead singer of the Dixie Chicks, her two bandmates, and their English manager stand around and talk casually about where they might conceal a weapon if they wanted...

Boys and Girls in America.(ALBUM OF THE MONTH)(Sound recording review)(Brief article)
November 1, 2006... Boys and Girls in America (Vagrant) The Hold Steady SONG ONE INTRODUCES us to suicide-obsessed poet John Berryman, track two to a migraine sufferer and a racehorse named Chips Ahoy. Then there's budding young love between a pair of OD cases...

3: Best idea at the time.(The Awards)
November 1, 2006... 3 BEST IDEA AT THE TIME "Because Anita knew that Mick had always fancied black girls, sleeping with many of the female singers who'd backed up the American rhythm-and-blues artists with whom the Stones had toured England in the early days,...

Danny Meyer (restaurateur, consummate host, 48, New York City): what I've learned.(THE FRONT: INTERVIEW)(Interview)
November 1, 2006... DANNY MEYER HAS WRITTEN one of those books whose main idea, once it begins to sink in, strikes you as "Oh, well, of course." Meyer is a restaurateur--in New York, he is the restaurateur of his generation- and the book, Setting the Table, uses...

The endorsement: the hug.(THE FRONT: NOTEBOOK)(Short story)
November 1, 2006... WHAT'S BEAUTIFUL about being assaulted is that there is no ambiguity to the experience. Even as it happens, it seems to be a story narrated in absolutes. Three guys jumped me on the staircase of a shitbox hotel in Falls Church, Virginia. They...

What I like in a man: sandpaper hands.(THE FRONT: NOTEBOOK)
November 1, 2006... MAYBE MY BIAS COMES from growing up in Colorado. One late spring, my friend Dave took me up into the mountains on a road t was never able to find again. We stood on the riverbank and blew up the patched gray raft together. We climbed on, and...

The Oris Big Crown Telemeter chronograph.(OBSESSION OF THE MONTH)(Brief article)
November 1, 2006... ONE OF SWISS WATCHMAKING'S BEST SECRETS, Otis combines real affordability with unimpeachable scientific standards. Its designs are primarily functional-never flashy-and retain, as with the new Big Crown Telemeter Chronograph shown here, a kind...

Try these on: as with a car, an office, or a tattoo of your kid on your bicep, the size of a watch is arguably its most expressive quality. Here, we offer life-size reproductions of twelve new watches. Cut them out, try them on, pretend its 10:10 all day long.(THE GUIDE: STYLE)
November 1, 2006... Rolex The family of Oyster Perpetuals has produced a number of star watches that are still modern looking 50 years after their debut. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Bulgari This watch from the Roman jeweler and watchmaker has a face...

The Esquire auto-chrono-mondo: how hard can it be to build a watch? Its only a few nuts and bolts, albeit pretty small ones. Here we cobbled together our own watch by borrowing some of the most distinctive details from seven different timepieces.(THE GUIDE: STYLE)
November 1, 2006... The big hour/time-zone changer Carl Bucherer's stainless-steel Patravi TravelTec GMT ($10,400). Not content with offering two separate time zones on a single watch, Lucerne-based Carl Bucherer offers a third in the TravelTec, which is adjusted...

A watch, at all.(THE ENDORSEMENT)(Photograph)
November 1, 2006... That's Keith Richards in the photo up there. And that's a watch on his wrist. Because he's possibly the least punctual man on the planet, there's a good chance he never actually needed it to tell the time. So we have to assume Keith was wearing...

High tech. Old school. Finally, a digital range-finder camera worthy of the name Leica.(THE GUIDE: THE DIGITAL MAN)
November 1, 2006... THE FILM CAMERA that means everything to me is the Leica M series. I've had the same M2 range finder for the past 37 years. Recently, I've started to embrace digital. The problem is, since the cost of film, developing, and printing is no longer...

James Bond walks into a bar ... ... and orders a Vesper, a cocktail that hasn't aged too well. Here, a remake.(THE GUIDE: DRINKING)
November 1, 2006... LET ME DRINK THE HEALTH OF YOUR NEW FROCK, VESPER--AND INCIDENTALLY, WHY VESPER? I WAS BORN ON A VERY STORMY EVENING. APPARENTLY MY PARENTS WANTED TO REMEMBER IT. SOME PEOPLE LIKE IT. OTHERS DON'T I THINK IT'S A FINE NAME. CAN I BORROW...

How can I make my orgasms more intense?(THE GUIDE: SEX)
November 1, 2006... You remind me of a man I once knew. He cursed his fate because he had no orgasms, then he met a man who had no feet, but great orgasms, so they walked along the beach, exchanging sex tips, leaving one set of footprints in the sand, along with a...

A man can dream.(THE GUIDE: THE BETTER MAN)(sleeping pills)
November 1, 2006... YOU'RE ON THE ROAD A LOT, you work late, and you drink more than you probably should. Plus, you're anxious. A good night's sleep is a rare luxury. If you haven't yet asked your doctor to write you a sleeping-pill prescription (which,...

A quick kick in the pants.(THE GUIDE: THE BETTER MAN)(coach Paul Frye )(Quotation)(Brief article)
November 1, 2006... BY COACH PAUL FRYE, ALBA-GOLDEN HIGH SCHOOL, ALBA, TEXAS THE LOSINGEST TEAM in Texas history (0-40) recently hired winning coach Paul Frye to turn things around. We asked him for an impromptu halftime speech, something to get us off our...

Blond jokes, blind dreams, cold coffee & the key to the city: Esquire's answer fella believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don't ask questions, fearing they'll look stupid. So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn't know the answer, he'll find out who does or who has a guess that sounds right.(THE GUIDE: ANSWER FELLA)
November 1, 2006... Whence came the custom of presenting someone the key to the city? Whence? Prithee, Sir Loin of Shmendrick, allow Answer Wight to explaineth. Back in the Middle Ages, this was less a freely given honor than a practical admission of defeat....

You're not wrong: unfortunately, neither is anyone else. This is not as pleasant as it sounds.(Chuck Klosterman's America)(Critical essay)
November 1, 2006... PERHAPS EVERYBODY'S RIGHT. Whenever we hear ideologues arguing, we tend to believe one of two things: We either assume one party is mostly correct, or we assume both parties are mostly confused. For most of my life, I have felt comfortable...

The art of the handshake: a perfunctory gesture? Hardly. It defines you. It defines the exchange. A hands-on study of a subtle craft.(Influence: Bend the World to Your Will)
November 1, 2006... THE HAND IS AN INTIMATE BODY PART. Its very shape and condition tell a lot about who you are. I've always hated my hands. They're meaty and fat, the very definition of a paw. In college I worked several jobs--cleaning dumpsters, pitchforking...

10 things you don't know about women.
November 1, 2006... 1. If, when asking a lady to spend the night, she says no, accept it and do not try to tip the scales with an offer of breakfast. Any girl who is swayed by the prospect of an omelette is probably not a keeper. 2. Marry the girl you want to...

The death of Derek Jeter.(FICTION)(Short story)
November 1, 2006... 1) DEREK JETER AND THE MAINTENANCE OF LIGHT DURING A GAME. I catch myself stealing glances over my shoulder. There is a chance, no matter how remote, that it could go on forever. There is a clock, a real one, in every stadium, part of the...

Best new restaurants 2006: from fine regional Indian in D.C. to a reimagined chophouse in Los Angeles, John Mariani has once again scouted the country in search of the best new eateries. Inside, the twenty most exciting places to dine right now.
November 1, 2006... ACADIANA Washington, D.C. AME San Francisco A VOCE New York BONG SU San Francisco CORDAVI Charleston, South Carolina Georgia GUY SAVOY Las Vegas JOEL ROBUCHON Las Vegas JUNNOON Palo Alto, California OM Cambridge, Massachusetts PROOF ON MAIN...

Cut, Los Angeles.(Restaurant of the Year)(Restaurant review)
November 1, 2006... THERE ARE SEVERAL REASONS we doubted Cut would make this list at all, much less top it. For one, it's a steak house, a stubbornly conservative genre. And it's the creation of uberchef Wolfgang Puck, who seemed an unlikely candidate to open...

Stephan Pyles: Stephan Pyles, Dallas.(Chef of the Year)
November 1, 2006... TWENTY-TWO YEARS AGO, in the first installment of Esquire's Best New Restaurants in America, we honored Routh Street Cafe in Dallas, owing to chef-partner Stephan Pyles's wholly innovative "New Texas Cuisine." In the decades since, Pyles has...

Summit, Colorado Springs.(Best New Design)(best restaurants in 2006)
November 1, 2006... THE GRANDE DAME RESORT the Broadmoor, which opened in 1918, has long needed a total rehab, and it got one to the tune of $78 million last year. But it also needed a first-rate modern restaurant, and Summit exceeds expectations. Adam Tihany's...

Lips kidneys & all: what's not to love about the sexiest woman alive.(WOMEN WE LOVE)(Scarlett Johansson )(Interview)(Cover story)
November 1, 2006... In Touch magazine recently did a scientific study and concluded that Scarlett owned the best pair of breasts [FIG. 1] in Hollywood, followed closely by Jessica Simpson and Salma Hayek. [FIGURE 1 OMITTED] "I'm sure my mom will be...

Emmanuele Chriqui: Ms. Approachable: like her character on Entourage, Emmanuelle Chriqui is stunning--but well within reach of the regular guy. Yeah, we'll keep telling ourselves that.(THE OTHER WOMAN WE LOVE)
November 1, 2006... STILL OTHER WOMEN WE LOVE ELIZABETH BANKS: Because we really believed she liked football in Invincible. MARISHA PESSL: Because the girl can type. ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO: Because alessandraambrosio.com.br. LAUREN GRAHAM: Because we're not...

The obscure women we love: ten subjects whose charms outweight their fame (for the moment, at least).
November 1, 2006... CASSIE VENTURA, 20 Why you might know her: You were driving and you spotted a Filipino/Mexican/ West Indian/African-American beauty on a Target billboard. You almost wrecked. To celebrate your survival, you cranked up the radio, and...

The last flight of Scott Crossfield: before there were astronauts, there was Crossfield. Throughout the modern history of aviation, there was always crossfield. Until now.(Biography)
November 1, 2006... FOUR IDENTICAL ROOMS, A, B, C, AND D, ONE FOR EACH CORNER OF ARLINGTON NATIONAL CEMETERY'S RIGHT-ANGLED ADMINISTRATION BUILDING, AND IN EACH OF THEM A FUNERAL SCHEDULED TO BEGIN at one o'clock on this overcast August afternoon: Bradford,...

An argument for the NBA: in which we offer a slightly unorthodox and utterly uncomprehensive preview of what will be the greatest hoops season ever (1984 included).(2006-07 NBA PREVIEW)
November 1, 2006... Pro basketball has a problem, and the problem is this: It's actually meaningful. Football is more popular. and baseball will always be more iconic. But both of those sports are inherently (and consciously) conservative; the greatest things...

The pathology of Gilbert Arenas.(2006-07 NBA PREVIEW)
November 1, 2006... ABSTRACT: A pseudo-psychotherapeutic assessment that attempts to shed light on the eclectic nature and unique brain chemistry of the NBA's most unheralded superstar. ********** SUBJECT: Gilbert Arenas AGE: 24 HEIGHT: 6'4" ...

Q&A: Chris Kaman.(2006-07 NBA PREVIEW)(Interview)(Brief article)
November 1, 2006... HE'S BEER RIDICULED for his stringy hair, and even his teammates call him Kaveman. But there's no knocking the impact this twenty-four-year-old center has had on the suddenly relevant L.A. Clippers. The big man sets us straight on his mop, his...

The best Steve Nash insults.(2006-07 NBA PREVIEW)(Quotation)(Brief article)
November 1, 2006... WHEN THE HAIR CAME OFF, SO DID THE GLOVES. BLOGGERS CAN BE SO CRUEL. >> "We're not quite sure what Phoenix Suns point guard Steve Nash was thinking when he decided to shear all his locks, but we're imagining it involved either Molson or an...

15 things that make us happy about the new NBA season.(2006-07 NBA PREVIEW)(Brief article)
November 1, 2006... 1. Excellent rule change no. 1: Shorter and fewer time-outs at the ends of games. 2. Las Vegas hosts the All-Star game, the first time ever for a non-NBA city. Book the 10,000-square-foot Hardwood Suite at the Palms, which has its own...

A player's notes: candid observations on life in the NBA, from a man who sometimes * experiences it.(2006-07 NBA PREVIEW)
November 1, 2006... Before I begin, a disclaimer: I am no NBA mainstay. I've never been the guy who signed a multiyear, guaranteed contract that would pay him whether he a) played hard every night, leading his team to victory and timeless glory, or b) gained...

The new rock: for only the second time in sixty seasons, the NBA is updating its game ball. Here, the intricacies of Spalding's new Cross Traxxion technology.(2006-07 NBA PREVIEW)(Brief article)
November 1, 2006... THE SEAMS The familiar eight oblong panels are gone, replaced with just two interlocking panels. According to Spalding, this improves grip and "decreases surface undulation for a truer, more consistent bounce." What this means: "The ball...

The king and I: a long-suffering Cavaliers fan rejoices.(2006-07 NBA PREVIEW)(Brief article)
November 1, 2006... FATE MADE ME a Clevelander and a fan, and so it also has been my fate to suffer long and hard. I've had a single sip of ultimate triumph in my life--one pro championship--when I was twelve years old. I still have the ticket stub (December 27,...

The unstoppable 3-on-3 play.
November 1, 2006... New Jersey Nets coach Lawrence Frank is one of the game's great young tacticians. So in the interest of overkill, we asked him to devise a play guaranteed to have us dominating our local playground. He calls it Bang. (A) 1 passes to 2. 1...

The collected works of Paul Lingel: four pieces by an American writer.(Short story)
November 1, 2006... THE KEYS TO LIFE [Nonfiction by Paul Lingel] I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT that as human beings we could all fly. However, no one was allowed to fly higher than me, and I was busting everyone's chops by flying so close to the ground. I was...

Antonio Pierro: (World War I veteran and retired jet-engine maker, 110, Swampscott, Massachusetts).(What I've Learned)(Interview)
November 1, 2006... * What? What's the question? * Blond. Small breasts--so you can get closer. * You see a girl, you wish you could. * If you can't get what you wish for, forget about it. * Nick, sit down. This is my little brother Nick. He's...

High society: our trip to the rocky mountain West starts in Colorado, moves through Wyoming, and ends up in Idaho. Along the way, there's a rodeo, a few mountains, and some wary subjects. This is a story about rugged country--and the clothes and men that can stand up to it. Let's head out.(ESQUIRE STYLE)
November 1, 2006... GREGG RUSLER, WRANGLER AND TRAIL GUIDE LEADVILLE, COLORADO ELEVATION: 9,513 FEET "I grew up in Los Angeles and started working with horses in Tahoe. I talked someone into training me when I was in my early thirties. Maybe I watched too...

Esquire endorses America: this month's general election is an epic fight for the future of our country, 504 races. 504 decisions. We make a choice in every race. Now it's up to you.
November 1, 2006... LET'S TAKE AS OUR PREMISE that government matters. Not just the president and his Cabinet but Congress, too. Sometimes that needs restating, especially when Congress seems to accomplish little. The Constitution establishes the Congress as a...

The Esquire guide to greener living.(This Way Out)(Brief article)
November 1, 2006... [check] Try heating your house using the palpable sexual tension between Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira. [check] When hosing down a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners, use a low-flow hose head. [check] Lower your carbon-dioxide emissions by...