Esquire articles from May 2009

Esquire archives from May 2009

Of everything in the March issue.(THIS WAY IN: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)
May 1, 2009... Of everything in the March issue--breakfast recipes, new summer styles, pictures of Kate Mara in a bathtub--perhaps the most important was this lesson: Never let Clive Owen gamble with your money. WHAT YOU WROTE ABOUT [ILLUSTRATION...

We were hoping for a more unified response.(THIS WAY IN: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
May 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] For the March cover story, writer at large Tom Chiarella gave actor Clive Owen $1.600 of his own money to bet at the racetrack (1) ("Just Another Day at the Ponies with Clive Owen"). Shortly before their race began,...

But this? This we expected.(THIS WAY IN: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Sarah Palin)(Brief article)
May 1, 2009... Alaska governor and 2008 Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin was the subject of March's What I've Learned feature. The article on Sarah Palin was great! I look forward to 2012. She is inspirational. MARK JOHNSON ...

The leader of the Fox News army.(THIS WAY IN: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
May 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Writer at large Torn Junod profiled Fox News anchor Shepard Smith, who has a new job to do: lead his team--and his network--into the era of Obama ("Because They Hate Him and Want Him to Fail," March). If only all...

One of our three favorite meals.(THIS WAY IN: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
May 1, 2009... March included sixteen pages devoted to breakfast ("Esquire's All-You-Can-Eat Breakfast"). I was excited to see the write-up of Ria's Bluebird, a simply amazing breakfast joint in Atlanta. As an Army lieutenant in training, I find it...

Books for Cosmo Skarzenski.(THIS WAY IN: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
May 1, 2009... About a year ago I read Tom Chiarella's review of A Fraction of the Whole (Man at His Best, February 2008). He was so convincing that I gave it a shot. The book floored me. Chiarella wasn't kidding when he called it the book of the year. First,...

Contributor award: most refreshing weapon.(THIS WAY IN: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Cadillac Man)(soda cans)(Brief article)
May 1, 2009... "I'm a street fighter and I'll use whatever means to take you down and keep you down. If I have to use a weapon, it's usually disposable. Two unopened soda cans. wrapped tightly in several plastic bags or better a pillowcase." --From Land...

Esquire's breakfast: part 3: your turn.(THIS WAY IN: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
May 1, 2009... MOTHER'S | New Orleans It's hard to say what's the bigger draw: the atmosphere or the food. You're immediately steered into a cafeteria-style line, given no time to order, and jostled out into a crowded and communal dining area. And it's...

The drama kings.(THIS WAY IN: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(pessimism)(Viewpoint essay)
May 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] IT WAS BIBI NETANYAHU who put me over the top. Recently, he said that Iran is the greatest threat the state of Israel has ever faced. Um, wasn't there a time when Gamal Nasser was massing troops on the Israeli border...

A V.D. you just can't joke about.(THIS WAY IN: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
May 1, 2009... As a lifetime subscriber and a reader of Stacey Grenrock Woods's sex column, I was dismayed by her response to the man who found himself on a date with a woman with herpes (Man at His Best, March). Herpes takes no notice of moral character. I...

Elsewhere in the bin.(THIS WAY IN: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
May 1, 2009... I've had a crush on Anna Friel ("A Woman We Love," February) ever since Timeline. Though my chances of wooing her (6) were never good, your introducing her to so many stylish Esquire readers has no doubt rendered them immeasurable. Thanks a...

Recognizing the recognition of our contributors.(THIS WAY IN: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Mike Sager)(Brief article)
May 1, 2009... Writer at large Mike Sager's Wounded Warriors: Those for Whom the War Never Ends recently won the American Author's Association Golden Quill award and the Military Writers Society of America Founder's Award, honors known more for their prestige...

The unfailable quiz.(THIS WAY IN: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(The Big Black Book)(Brief article)
May 1, 2009... Does Esquire now print a spring edition of its luxury style guide, The Big Black Book? A. Yes B. No. And the moon landing never happened (see page 52). Available at Barnes & Noble, Borders, and blackbook.esquire.com.

Something to do at esquire.com.(THIS WAY IN: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Website overview)(Brief article)
May 1, 2009... Watch and learn. On each episode of our new Web series, "Ask a Beautiful Woman," lovely host Annabella Asvik gets a crash course from an equally lovely expert, whether it's an F81 agent on firing a gun or a chef on grilling the perfect steak....

The women of Star Trek.(THIS WAY IN: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Brief article)
May 1, 2009... In honor of this month's Woman We Love, Zoe Saldana (page 92), we looked back at the other ladies of the Star Trek franchise. Seems like they've just gotten more and more appealing. Except for that one time. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

One for your coffee table.(THIS WAY IN: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Periodical Photographs: Commissioned Works)(Book review)(Brief review)
May 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] If you like the photography in this month's "Things a Man Should Own" (page 80) and the advice on looking your best in pictures ("The Skills," page 96), then you probably like Dan Winters, who provided both. And you...

Euphemism of the month.(MAN AT HIS BEST)("hand over the coals")(Brief article)
May 1, 2009... "HAND OVER THE COALS" n: 1. In barbecuing, when you determine the readiness of your grill by holding your palm near the surface and counting the seconds before discomfort forces you to retract your hand. 2. In life, when you wait until you feel...

The rules.(MAN AT HIS BEST: Film and Television)
May 1, 2009... Rule No. 789: The hardest temperature to dress appropriately for is 48 degrees. Rule No. 801: Writers who use their middle names on the cover of their books are one-third more pretentious than writers who go by two names. Rule No. 815: Of the...

The sorrows of Mike Tyson: a new documentary shows the old fighter at his most reflective and least pretty.(MAN AT HIS BEST: Film and Television)
May 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] AN ESSENTIAL PART of every man, with the possible exceptions of the pope and William Shatner, doubts the essence of our manhood. By inches, pounds, and paychecks, we gauge ourselves our power over other men and women...

Elsewhere in the genre.(MAN AT HIS BEST: Film and Television)(Anvil: The Story of Anvil)(Movie review)(Brief article)
May 1, 2009... Anvil: The Story of Anvil follows an aging Canadian heavy-metal band on a 30-year quest for rock-stardom. The film features interviews with longtime fans and many of the band's successful peers, all of whom seem equally puzzled by Anvil's tack...

The self-serving endorsement: more Esquire.(MAN AT HIS BEST: Film and Television)(Esquire's Big Black Book)(Brief article)(Book review)
May 1, 2009... If there's one problem in men's lives-at least from our perspective-it's that they don't get enough Esquire. But there's an easy solution to the quandary: Esquire's Big Black Book. We call it "the style manual for successful men." For the...

On the phone with the Deadwood guy: Ian McShane won a Golden Globe for playing a profane anti-hero. Now he's on prime time in Kings as the man at the head of a modern-day monarchy.(MAN AT HIS BEST: Film and Television)(Interview)
May 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] IAN MCSHANE: Hello. ESQUIRE: Is this Mr. McShane? IM: Yeah, it is. Who is this? ESQ: This is Jake, I'm the writer from-- IM: How are you? ESQ: Good, how are you? IM: I'm all right. I'm just...

Plus one book for your son.(MAN AT HIS BEST: Books)(Pygmy)(Book review)(Brief review)
May 1, 2009... Read Chuck Palahniuk's new book, Pygmy (Doubleday, $25), and you'll learn to despise the hypocrisy of born-again Christians. Already got that covered? Okay, instead give Pygmy to your kid. He'll think you're tad, Palahniuk's perfect for the...

Books that will make you a better man: what you should read this summer.(MAN AT HIS BEST: Books)(Book review)
May 1, 2009... EVERYBODY SAYS men don't read novels anymore. I tell them that's why so many men are asses. Good novels don't just describe the lives of men; they make arguments about the kind of men we ought to be. They inspire improvement. Would anyone still...

Funny joke from a beautiful woman.(MAN AT THIS BEST)(Brief article)
May 1, 2009... AS TOLD BY Zulay Henao A POLICEWOMAN pulls over a drunk driver and asks him to step out of the car. She says, "Anything you say can and will be used against you." The driver replies, "Breasts." ABOUT THE JOKESTER: Before...

8 things no one ever teaches you about grilling.(MAN AT THIS BEST: Esquire's Backyard)
May 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] (1) GET THE GRILL SCREAM ING HOT. For steaks, chops, and burgers, hold your hand three inches above the grill grate and start counting, "One Mississippi, two Mississippi, etc." If "ouch" comes at two or three...

If you have a gas grill ...(MAN AT THIS BEST: Esquire's Backyard)(Brief article)
May 1, 2009... On a two-burner gas grill, light one side to high and indirect-grill on the other (unlit) side. On a three-burner gas grill, light the front and rear or left and right burners and place the food in the center. If you're lucky enough to have a...

A Carolina pork-shoulder sandwich ...(MAN AT THIS BEST: Esquire's Backyard)(Recipe)
May 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] It's ridiculously easy to make, but it looks and tastes like you've been cooking all day. In a sense, both are true. You'll need about 30 minutes of prep time, but you'll cook the shoulder for four to five hours....

Official seasoning of your backyard.(MAN AT THIS BEST: Esquire's Backyard)(Buyers guide)(Brief article)
May 1, 2009... The Vergos family, proprietors of the legendary Rendezvous in Memphis, built a rib empire on their secret spice mix. They call it "shake," which is what you do, over everything from deviled eggs to baked potatoes to barbecued shrimp, ribs, and...

... And some sides: a potluck barbecue with three rising-star chefs.(MAN AT THIS BEST: Esquire's Backyard)(Recipe)
May 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] RED BLISS POTATO SALAD PAESANO STYLE Chef: Peter McAndrews Modo Mio, Philadelphia Here's what you get from an Irish guy who owns an Italian restaurant. Quarter 2 1/2 lbs small red bliss potatoes. Season a pot...

Ding: the greatest lawn game since jarts.(MAN AT THIS BEST: Esquire's Backyard)(frisbee game)(Brief article)
May 1, 2009... Plant two five-foot posts in the ground, separated by the width of a Frisbee plus two fists. On top of each post, rest a plastic cup upside down. Make an identical goal 25 feet away. The game is played in tea ms of two. The goal is to throw a...

... And something to wash it down with: Our favorite drinks for a warm day and a crowd.(MAN AT THIS BEST: Esquire's Backyard)(Michelada, Tom Collins, and Spinnaker Swizzle)(Recipe)
May 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] MICHELADA If your idea of barbecuing involves marinating a big hunk of pork shoulder in garlic and lime juice, slow-cooking it until it practically melts, hacking it up, and serving it on corn tortillas with...

Ask a landscaper.(GARDENING FOR MEN)
May 1, 2009... Q: I want to plant a vegetable garden. How do I get started? And what would you plant in a garden? A garden is a great idea, and this is the perfect time of year to start one. When I was growing up, I was fortunate enough to live in a...

Why I'm getting a tepee.(MAN AT THIS BEST: Esquire's Backyard)(Viewpoint essay)
May 1, 2009... WHEN SWEETIE (the wife) and I pass Ralph Lauren's spectacular ranch on the drive from the airport to our house in Telluride, Colorado, we always admire his hand-painted tepees. Somehow Ralph has placed them so perfectly that they seem to be...

Double vision, blood on film, circumcision & virgin land: Esquire's Answer Fella believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don't ask questions, fearing they'll look stupid, So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn't know the answer, he'll find out who does or who has a guess that sounds right.(MAN AT THIS BEST: Answer Fella)
May 1, 2009... On the rare occasion that I have too many drinks, I get double vision. Why? It is particularly problematic watching late-night TV. Closing or covering one eye seems to fix it, so I'm considering getting an eye patch. "It's clear that acute...

Q: my boyfriend is too enthusiastic during sex. How do I ask him to tone it down without offending him or totally killing his enthusiasm?(MAN AT THIS BEST: Sex)
May 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Q: My boyfriend is too enthusiastic during sex. How do I ask him to tone it down without offending him or totally killing his enthusiasm? I recommend you kill it totally. Enthusiasm spores are airborne, highly...

The essential: the Boss Orange weekend blazer.(Style)(Buyers guide)(Brief article)
May 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Right about now, most of us are in a rebuilding phase--an investing-in-infrastructure, shoring-up-the-foundation, getting-our-shit-together phase-and in matters sartorial, that means concentrating on the basics....

The United States of khaki: they're the ultimate everyday pants, but khakis don't just come in one color or cloth. Khakis--as a word and a state of mind--contain multitudes. Like these.(Style)(Buyers guide)(Brief article)
May 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] * THE ENDORSEMENT: THIS WATCH SAY A BIG-NAME designer wants to get into the watch business: He's got options. He can license out his name to the highest bidder, hang back, and count the easiest money he's ever...

The basic upgrade: you've already got some nice clothes. You're looking for ways to make them stand out. Here's how.(Style)(men's clothes)(Buyers guide)(Brief article)
May 1, 2009... The basic: A brown driving or bomber jacket. You need: Lightweight light-gray pants to contrast with the darker, heavier top. And don't forget: Light-brown chukka boots that complement the jacket. Waxed cotton jacket ($495) by Billy Reid;...

The adventurer: the creative director of Banana Republic redefines basics for the urban jungle.(Profile)(Simon Kneen)
May 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] SIMON KNEEN IS THINKING about wires. Or as he puts it, "Wire management--working out where men are going to put their cell phone or their iPod or their BlackBerry when they wear our clothes." Such considerations...

Ask Nick Sullivan: the Esquire fashion director on a three-piece stumper, wayward watch wearers, and the loneliest shirt cuff.(Style)
May 1, 2009... [FIGURE 1 OMITTED] If one's suit bears peaked or notched lapels, is it appropriate for his vest to bear lapels? Furthermore, ifone's suit bears peaked lapels, is it appropriate for his vest lapels to be notched? --Nick Karras,...

A thousand words about our culture: heard any good conspiracy theories?
May 1, 2009... CONSPIRACY THEORISTS--* 9/11 deniers, moon-landing paranoiacs, Cassandras of the New World Order--are the holy fools of our age. Things are not what they seem, they preach no us daily from their street corners and Web sites, and try as we might...

The better man 2009: lose weight, make money, have more sex.
May 1, 2009... Think about when you were thirteen. Tough age. You weren't looking your best. But you tried, didn't you? Probably tried harder than you ever have in your life, because suddenly there were girls in skirts. and you weren't the only one after...

What is a man?(How to Be a Man: 2009)(Essay)
May 1, 2009... A MAN CARRIES CASH. > A man looks out for those around him--woman, friend, stranger.> A man can cook eggs. > A man can always find something good to watch on television. > A man makes things-a rock wall, a table, the tuition money. Or he...

The list of men: because just being male doesn't make you a man.(How to Be a Man: 2009)
May 1, 2009... There's Larry Fitzgerald (1), of course. Cardinals receiver, age of twenty-five. The guy goes up, the guy gets the ball. The rest of it? Class. Drive. Calm. Forethought. But mostly class. The kind Liam Neeson shows, in his way. Like he showed...

Close-ups: a selection of work by photographer.(How to Be a Man: 2009)(Martin Schoeller)(Brief article)
May 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] If you learned anything from playing with this month's cover, it's that the face of the American man comes in many forms. And hues. With strong jaws and weak ones. Noses, lips, and foreheads of various width height,...

Todd Palin is the man for America now.(How to Be a Man: 2009)(Interview)
May 1, 2009... His eighteen-year-old daughter is about to go into labor; his future son-in-law's mother was just busted for dealing Oxy Contin; his snowmachine still isn't ready for the two-thousand-mile Iron Dog race; little Trig needs to be changed; Willow...

Things a man should own: the things we love. The things we need the items, were they to be lost, we would briefly mourn and immediately replace. Here, a collection of objects no man should be without. Turn the page for an annotated inventory.(How to Be a Man: 2009)(Buyers guide)
May 1, 2009... Take the work gloves. (Three pages back. In front of the chain saw, above the boots, next to the basketball.) They allow us to hold things that we could not otherwise comfortably hold. They protect. They enable. Mainly because they prevent...

The man who never was: twenty years ago, Todd Marinovich was guaranteed to be one of the greatest quarterbacks ever to play the game of football. Engineered to be. He was drafted ahead of Brett Favre. Today he s a recovering junkie. Scenes from the chaotic life of a boy never designed to be a man.(How to Be a Man: 2009)
May 1, 2009... The Fallbrook Midget Chiefs are fanned out across the field on a sunny autumn day in southern California, two dozen eighth graders in red helmets and bulbous pads. Whistles trill and coaches bark, mothers camp in folding chairs in the welcoming...

Zoe Saldana: a woman we love: (as she relates to men): Star Trek's most scantily uniformed crewmember on those of us she loves the most.(Interview)
May 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] (A Woman We Love) Zoe Saldana would rather do this thing at the Italian place next door instead of the hotel, and before you can react, you're sitting across from her and a basket of flied calamari. You really...

How to skin a moose: (and twenty-five other skills worth having).(The SKILLS)
May 1, 2009... You're born without them, spend a lifetime acquiring them, and check them at the door on your way out--and for what? To survive in the wild? To get rich and retire early? No. You acquire skills so you can step up. So you can save the day. So...

The American man.(WHAT I'VE LEARNED)
May 1, 2009... > Fear is what drives us. The response to fear is when virtue comes out. 3 > My father was a stoic. He came home at night, gave my mother his check, and that was his obligation for the day, week, year. 10 > My mother was the most...

Man walks into a party ...(ESQUIRE STYLE)(men's clothing)(Buyers guide)
May 1, 2009... ... And whether it's a boozy clambake, a buttoned-up wedding, or just another summer blowout, people should notice him. In a good way. They should notice he's not overdressed or underdressed but dressed just right. Here's how to do it, no...

Yeah, but how much of a man are you, really? A quiz (with silhouettes!).(THIS WAY OUT)(Brief article)
May 1, 2009... Identify each icon of manliness, adding up points for each correct answer, for a precise measure of your personal masculinity. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] (A) 5 points [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] (B) (See page 101) 5 points ...