Esquire articles from May 2007

Esquire archives from May 2007

This way in: the sound and the fury.
May 1, 2007... Robert Downey Jr. loves to talk. He talked so much-and in such a trippy vernacular--we couldn't fit everything we wanted to in his cover profile. (See below.) We had to save room for an article by a Navy attorney who sued the president ("The...

The return of Robert Downey Jr.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
May 1, 2007... Writer at large Scott Raab really hit it off with garrulous profile subject Robert Downey Jr. ("The Quiet One," March). They talked drug recovery, bonded over neuroses, and even shared same flatulence. I gotta admit, I love Robert Downey...

War and nostalgia ...(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
May 1, 2007... Out of the Army far more than a year, writer and former sergeant Brian Mockenhaupt candidly discussed haw he increasingly misses his tour of duty in Iraq (The Essay, March). Mockenhaupt's essay is one of the most honest and revealing...

The quotable Downey Jr.: outtakes from the interview.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Quotation)
May 1, 2007... I'm like a quarter horse in the paddock most of the time. That's my ideal life: I would come out and do forty-five seconds of unadulterated genius every other week. I'm all for magic, and you create your own realty, and all that stuff, but...

... War and integrity ...(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
May 1, 2007... Also in the March issue, Lieutenant Commander Charles Swift, the U.S. Navy attorney who successfully sued the Bush administration aver the constitutionality of its treatment at enemy combatants, wrote the story behind that case and argued that...

... And reaction from the front.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)
May 1, 2007... The article by Brian Mockenhaupt had a lot of observations that I agree with. But I think he doesn't miss the war (if he's sane) so much as he misses the thought of war. The article by JAG lawyer Lieutenant Commander Charles Swift was also good...

Esquire's best-dressed real man 2007.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)
May 1, 2007... Becoming the next Best-Dressed Real Man is easy. Just follow these steps: 1. Go to esquire.com/best-dressed07 between April 1 and May 15, 2007. 2. Upload three photos of yourself--a close-up, a face-and-torso shot, and a full-body...

The "profile".(This Way In: EDITOR'S LETTER)
May 1, 2007... THERE ARE FEW THINGS more difficult for a writer than executing that most demoralizing of magazine stories, the celebrity profile. (1) Nothing is more artificial than the forced camaraderie into which the collision of writer and famous person...

Elsewhere in the bin.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
May 1, 2007... More James Lee Burke. Now that his idiosyncratic New Orleans is gone, somebody needs to get his wicked Gulf Coast sensibilities down before he moves forever to Montana-the other half of his heart. DENNIS KEEFE Big Canoe, Ga. You...

Heaviest book.(THE AWARDS)(Atlas of Human Anatomy and Surgery)(Brief article)
May 1, 2007... Atlas of Human Anatomy and Surgery, by J.M. Bourgery and N.H. Jacob (Taschen, $200), the massive anatomy book in which we found the images for this month's Better Man package. (See page 86.) Created over twenty-four years in the mid-nineteenth...

Crashing Through: A Story of Risk, Adventure, and the Man Who Dared to See.(Brief article)(Book review)
May 1, 2007... CRASHING THROUGH: A STORY OF RISK, ADVENTURE, AND THE MAN WHO DARED TO SEE, BY ROBERT KURSON (RANDOM HOUSE, $26) Blinded at age three in a freak chemical explosion, Mike May had his sight surgically restored at age forty-five-one of only...

MVP.(Brief article)(Book review)
May 1, 2007... MVP, BY JAMES BOICE (SCRIBNER, $15) The prologue of MVP, James Boice's debut novel, ran as stand-alone fiction in our October 2006 issue ("Man Enters Hotel"). It introduced the story of Gilbert Animal Marcus, a basketball star who flees...

I Love You, Beth Cooper.(Brief article)(Book review)
May 1, 2007... I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER, BY LARRY DOYLE (ECCO, $20) Larry Doyle (The Doyle Report, Man at His Best) offers a send-up of vapid young-adult fiction in his hilarious first novel. Denis Cooverman, a high school student with more pimples than...

After Jackie.(Brief article)(Book review)
May 1, 2007... AFTER JACKIE, BY CAL FUSSMAN (ESPN BOOKS, $25) Rather than recounting the trials of Jackie Robinson's life, longtime What I've Learned contributor and writer at large (see page 96) Cal Fussman focuses on the extent of his cultural impact....

Funny * joke from a beautiful woman.(MAN AT HIS BEST: The Front)(Brief article)
May 1, 2007... As told by ROSE MCGOWAN Walking home after a girls' night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee. The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath,...

The Doyle report.(THE FRONT: THE 30-DAY FORECAST)
May 1, 2007... Who are you? Your television knows. Its executive minions have polled you, focused you, gone through your garbage, and thus divined your heart and mind in the furtherance of capturing your eyeballs. Its content monkeys have been hurling shit at...

The leisure meter: how to allocate your free time this month.(MAN AT HIS BEST)
May 1, 2007... * Ogling Marc Baptiste Nudes (Rizzoli, $45), the celebrity and fashion photographer's collection of images of beautiful women in various stages of undress, including the one you are currently fixated on, left. 3 hours * Laughing at the...

Critical blasphemy: five things you can't say in Hollywood.(MAN AT HIS BEST)
May 1, 2007... * BEN STILLER 2003 TO 2006 EQUALS BURT REYNOLDS 1981 TO 1984. It's amazing that nobody else has stumbled upon this bizarre congruence. Reynolds was America's top action-comedy star in the late 1970s, but starting with The Cannonball Run...

DVDs for men: a pair of ultraviolent classics.(THE FRONT: THE SCREEN)(Brief article)(Video recording review)
May 1, 2007... BRUTE FORCE (1947) Decades before Prison Brook and Oz, there was Brute Force, a throat punch to America's incarceration system, directed by Jules Dassin. Inmate Burt Lancaster is pitted against Hume Cronyn, a sadistic chief guard who...

Q&A: Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.(THE FRONT: THE SCREEN)(Interview)
May 1, 2007... THE BRITISH ZOMBIE COMEDY Shaun of the Dead caught just about everybody off guard when it snuck up and became a hit in 2004. Now the guys from Shaun--Nick Frost (left), 35, and Simon Pegg, 37--are doing for the buddy-cop picture what they did...

Is Roger Clemens worth $20 million?(THE OFF-POINT OPINION: In Which an Expert in One Field Opines in Another)(Brief article)
May 1, 2007... WHEN I WAS GROWING UP IN BROOKLYN, a kid on the next block named Sandy Koufax signed with the Dodgers. His bonus: $14,000. My dad, who was earning $5,000 a year, was outraged. "Nobody's worth that!" Clemens is now deciding whether to try for a...

Q&A: Nick Cave.(MAN AT HIS BEST)(Interview)
May 1, 2007... NICK CAVE SAYS that interest in modern rock stardom (his and everyone else's) is waning. Yet the Bad Seed, actor, and author's new band, Grinderman, represents his best work in years. Noisy, dark, eloquently obscene, the 49-year-old's...

Soul Sides Volume Two.(Sound recording review)(Brief review)
May 1, 2007... The impeccable taste in R&B that college prof Oliver Wang brings to his blog, soulsides.com, guides this sublime compilation of mostly rare covers, including Cold Grits' "It's Your Thing."

Baby 81, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club.
May 1, 2007... With tunes like "Weapon of Choice" and "666 Conducer," BRMC is back to unleashing anthems as boldly apocalyptic as their name.

The Beatific Visions, Brakesbrakesbrakes.
May 1, 2007... Arctic Monkeysesque. But better. Includes "Mobile Communication," the best cell-phone-related love song ever written.

Bill Callahan.(Anonymous Genius of the Month)(Woke on a Whaleheart)(Brief article)
May 1, 2007... IF YOU OWN ANY SMOG SONG, it's probably "Cold Blooded Old Times," track 10 on the High Fidelity soundtrack-appropriate since most of the people who can speak authoritatively on the strengths and weaknesses of Smog's dozen-album catalog work in...

Go-go.(The 30-Second History)
May 1, 2007... WASHINGTON, D.C., IN THE '80s: The lines between ghetto and gentrification were so stark, even the funkiest music going couldn't cross over. The sound is go-go, a continuous house-party groove of intricately plaited rhythms and...

Thank God for Christopher Hitchens: for he has written the finest of the down-with-God books.(MAN AT HIS BEST)
May 1, 2007... IN CREATING CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS, God took special care and did a hell of a job. A writer touched by greatness, following his own broken compass all over the map, servile to no one, insulter of many, drinker and smoker nonpareil. A man of...

Most disappointing idiom.(The Awards)
May 1, 2007... "The phrase 'The virgin pulls the plow' did not mean that in Ferrytown the young unmarried women were put to work in the fields, but that a, pure girl would be worth a pair of horses or a team of oxen in a marriage contract. You wouldn't get a...

Are We Rome?(Empire Building 101)(Brief article)(Book review)
May 1, 2007... IN THIS AGE of military and cultural conflict, it's no surprise that pundits on both sides of the political fence say the answer is a simple yes. (We're either a civilizing democracy, the Right's take, or a brutalizing imperium, the Left's.) A...

Bastard out of Argentina.(THE FRONT: BOOKS)(The Ministry of Special Cases )(Brief article)(Book review)
May 1, 2007... HE'S AN HIJO DE PUTA. The son of a whore. But not just any whore: a Jewish whore. And in case your Hebrew-school teacher didn't tell you what that means, let me explain. It means Kaddish Poznan is done. Cosmically eighty-sixed. The rabbi and...

Hard-boiled Jews.(THE FRONT: BOOKS)(Brief article)(Book review)
May 1, 2007... MICHAEL CHABON has a problem with growing up. Not that his talent isn't full-fledged. But whether he's writing about middle-aged stoners (Wonder Boys) or genius comic-book artists (The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay), he's always...

The RLX Jacket and the Prince 03 Speedport.(OBSESSIONS OF THE MONTH)(Brief article)
May 1, 2007... THE JACKET: It used to be that real tennis players wore white. McEnroe. Connors--even Nastase--could mouth off to the chair and smash all the woodies they wanted, but they always wore white. And while most of today's top seeds seem to have gone...

The well-dressed athlete: sweating uncontrollably is not an excuse for looking like a slob. Here's how to negotiate a few varied playing fields.(THE GUIDE: STYLE)(Brief article)
May 1, 2007... GOLFING Avoid loud plaids and keep things simple. Lord Piano's ultrathin storm jacket has removable sleeves that free up your arms, and Nat Nast's basic polo and shorts ensure your short game (and not your outfit) is the center of...

The sporting life.(STYLE)(Brief article)
May 1, 2007... THE T-SHIRT The brainchild of Brooklyn-based designer (and Yankees super-fan) Christopher Isenberg, No Mas T-shirts offer stylized, vintage-inspired spins on sports icons. Darryl Strawberry and Wilt Chamberlain are a few of Isenberg's...

The $5,000 wardrobe: Part 3 (of 10), Diesel Kajo jeans.(STYLE)(Brief article)
May 1, 2007... NO MAN CAN AFFORD to be without a great pair of dark-blue jeans, and this pair from Diesel works nicely. Well-designed denim should be loose but not baggy and fitted without being tight, and you should avoid distressing, fraying, or other...

The sweat suit.(THE VISUAL ARGUMENT)
May 1, 2007... Beatty. Warren (Heaven Can Wait) [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Stallone, Sylvester (Rocky) [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Gere, Richard (Officer and a Gentleman) [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Mac, Little (Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!) ...

The blueprint: el Cubano: the secret to building Miami's legendary late-night sandwich.(THE GUIDE: FOOD & DRINK)(Recipe)
May 1, 2007... ONCE A WORKINGMAN'S LUNCH, the Cubano is now a Miami staple. Salty, sweet, and oozing cheese, it's the antidote to your worst nocturnal habits. Here's how they do it at the famous Latin American Cafeteria. * THE FOUNDATION About eight...

The correction: the Manhattan.(FOOD & DRINK)(Recipe)(Brief article)
May 1, 2007... SEVEN TIMES OUT OF TEN, when you order a Manhattan, you're served not a crisp and darkly invigorating cocktail but a lukewarm bowl of straight whiskey, lightly colored by vermouth and made sticky with the chemical gunk in which maraschino...

The endorsement: the Whirley popper.(THE GUIDE: FOOD & DRINK)(Brief article)
May 1, 2007... TENS OF MILLIONS of Americans think they like popcorn, even though they have no idea what popcorn tastes like. They love it nuked and crap-coated at work: they buy bags, at ball games and movie theaters, of warm packing peanuts. And this would...

The new food capital.(THE GLUTTONOUS TRAVELER)
May 1, 2007... IN PARIS, YOU START THE DAY with a great croissant and bad coffee; in Rome, with great coffee and a bad croissant. But in Lisbon you begin with a shot of cherry cordial and a pastel de Belem, an incredibly rich, cinnamon-laced custard tartlet...

The angry German: punctuality.(THE GUIDE: TRAVEL)
May 1, 2007... (Note: This article is best read aloud in German accent) I GREW UP with a father who would not let me eat dinner if I wasn't at the table exactly at 7:00 P.M.; 7:01 and I went to bed hungry. So when I get a meeting, party, dinner invite for...

The only shirt you'll ever pack.(THE ENDORSEMENT)(Brief article)
May 1, 2007... ONCE I SPENT a week traveling through three continents with a wise old man who had many things to say about literature, history, and politics. He also had a thing to say about traveling light, carrying just a small nylon gym bag the entire...

Small and loud: your computer is loaded with content. Wouldn't it be nice to hear it?(THE GUIDE: THE DIGITAL MAN)
May 1, 2007... I'M PRODUCING an animated feature called Space Chimps in Vancouver (with animation, it doesn't matter how incessantly it rains) and directing two television pilots in Los Angeles, which means lately I've been forced to watch dailies and cut...

Eskimo kisses, arm hair, moon flags & Spike Lee vs. Stan Lee vs. Bruce Lee.(THE GUIDE: ANSWER FELLA)
May 1, 2007... ESQUIRE'S ANSWER FELLA believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don't ask questions, fearing they'll look stupid. So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn't know the answer, hell find out who does or who has a guess...

What's (not) happening! Something's happening in the movies made by young director Andrew Bujalski, but what it is ain't exactly clear. Therein lies their beauty.(Chuck Klosterman's AMERICA)
May 1, 2007... THERE IS A PARTICULAR KIND of movie that is made (and remade) several times a year, and it consistently fulfills a specific cinematic role: It serves as the hardest kind of film to see and the easiest kind of film to criticize. These are the...

10 things you don't know about women.(Brief article)
May 1, 2007... 1. At the same rate you're losing your hair, we're getting a mustache. 2. We're not afraid you're cheating on us; we're afraid you're retarded. 3. We thought we'd end up with someone hotter, too. 4. There's nothing less sexy than...

The red-hot, pork-stuffed, corn-wrapped, blues-flavored enigma: an Esquire expedition to a most unexpected place for amazing Mexican food--Mississippi.(THE Restless MAN)
May 1, 2007... AT FIRST I THOUGHT they messed up my order because I was like, "What the fuck is that?" I stared into a Styrofoam container at Bud's Snack Bar in Tunica, Mississippi. Inside the was a lump wrapped in some kind of a wax paper, tied together what...

Halle Berry by Halle Berry *.(Cover story)
May 1, 2007... My Date with a Perfect Stranger (1) By Halle Berry, with annotations by Tom Chiarella As I sat in my car, driving to what I had sworn would be my last print interview ever, (2) I couldn't help but think of all the reasons why I was...

A short quiz your life depends on.
May 1, 2007... The body, as the images here and on the following pages remind us, is so complex as to seem unknowable. But learning the answers to these six simple questions will give you the foundation on which to build a better diet--even if you already eat...

The definitive guide to better living through biology.(THE BETTER MAN 07)(You: The Owner's Manual and You: On a Diet)
May 1, 2007... Cavemen really knew how to eat. Out of necessity, of course. Twenty thousand years ago, stress didn't come in the form of parking tickets and it wasn't caused by having to sprint through O'Hare to make your connection. Stress was famine. And...

Outsmart your brain: to stop your stomach from growling, use your head.(THE BETTER MAN 07: 01 THE BRAIN)
May 1, 2007... Going on a strict diet is like holding your breath underwater. Try to stay under and eventually you automatically inhale--and then you drown. Try to stay on a strict diet and eventually you come up gasping for carbohydrates--and then you're off...

Forget about your stomach: new research about how we store fat will help you keep your hands off the muffins.(THE BETTER MAN: 02 YOUR GUTS)
May 1, 2007... When we think about losing weight, most of us focus on two things: the food we eat and the stomach where it ends up. The first part makes sense. But the second part is misguided. It's not a big stomach that gives us our beer bellies but a layer...

Treat your muscles right: they are, after all, the part of you that actually burns up fat. Help them.(THE BETTER MAN: 03 MUSCLES)
May 1, 2007... It's easy to think of muscles as your body's engine--they're what make you move, they burn your body's fuel--but we think that's a mistake. Engines turn on and off. Sometimes they guzzle gas, sometimes they just sit there. Well-exercised...

How to eat: you're staring at the fridge, or the pantry, or the menu, how do you make the right choice? By remembering a few simple rules.(THE BETTER MAN 07: 04 HOW TO EAT)
May 1, 2007... BREAKFAST The point of breakfast is twofold. First, it replenishes the calories you've burned and eliminates the hunger you've built up overnight, when you haven't eaten for nine or ten hours. You're literally breaking a fast. Second, it...

Milkenize me: the author just wanted to lose a few pounds. Instead, he discovered a completely new way to eat.
May 1, 2007... THE PHOTO ON THE WALL showed me boxing in 1993. The belly in front of me announced that it was 2005. My eyes moved back and forth. As I launched a left hook in the photo, I could see the stark outline of my ribs. Twelve years later, my...

60 things worth shortening your life for: and now, as an antidote to all of this healthy-living nonsense ...(THE BETTER MAN 07: 06 HOW TO DIE)
May 1, 2007... EDITOR'S WARNING: THE FOLLOWING RISKY ACTIVITIES, DECADENT FOODS, AND OTHERWISE FOOLHARDY INDULGENCES ARE DETRIMENTAL TO YOUR HEALTH. YOU WILL, HOWEVER, NOT PERISH IN VAIN. 1. Danger dogs. The Tijuana delicacy--a hot dog wrapped in bacon,...

Joan Rivers: comedian, 73, New York City.(What I've Learned)(Interview)
May 1, 2007... > Don't expect praise without envy--until you're dead. > Comedy is an angry white man's game. Even if you're Chris Rock or Joan Rivers, you're really an angry white man. > God doesn't care that I have a sandwich on Yom Kippur. He cares...

The state of the world: now that the Bush presidency is over, it's time those of us left behind assess the damage and seize the opportunities. There's plenty of both. but there's no time to waste, so let's get started: the good news, the bad news, and the news that could change everything.(Company overview)
May 1, 2007... 001 IRAN: THE COMING DISTRACTION GOOD NEWS: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad suffered a worse midterm election than George Bush, with his political allies losing metro elections all over the country and his mullah mentors failing to grab seats in...

My life as a hot woman: my beautiful baby-sitter needs a boyfriend. So I became her Cyrano.
May 1, 2007... "I've been a beautiful woman for fifty days, and no one has compared me to a summer's day. No one has said my lips are like rose blossoms or my throat is as smooth as alabaster. Men don't have time for that anymore. We live in the age of...

End state: war changes the men who wage it. It also changes the wives they leave behind--sometimes more, a lot more, than one might expect.(Short story)
May 1, 2007... The mannequin stands beside our driveway, facing the road. Charlotte always decked it out at Christmas Santa-style, all red and white, with a black belt and buttons and a matching fuzzy hat. In February, it wore a purple robe, strands of...

How to wear white without looking like Colonel Sanders: in which esquire modernizes a great American look on seven of Manhattan's most distinguished professionals.(Esquire Style)
May 1, 2007... A DARK VEST ADDS FORMALITY TO A LIGHT SUIT. OPT FOR PLAIN COTTON TO MATCH THE REST OF THE ENSEMBLE. On Akiva Elstein, twenty-eight, restaurateur, Employees Only: Two-button cotton jacket ($615) by Calvin Klein Collection: cotton vest...

Obits of 2007.(This Way Out)
May 1, 2007... American Hegemony, 184, Dies American Hegemony died March 8 of multiple causes. It was 184. American Hegemony had been in declining health for several years due to outsourcing, the rise of the Far East, and the white-hot hatred of everyone...