Esquire articles from May 2004

Esquire archives from May 2004

Esquire celebrates Valentine's Day.(By invitation only: a special promotion for Esquire readers)(Brief Article)
May 1, 2004... On February 14th, 2003, Esquire and Maker's Mark hosted a Valentine's Day party at New York City's newest hotspot, Crobar. Located in a cavernous 5,000 Square ft. loft space on the west side of Manhattan, the party was a throw back to the...

Lubiam's luxurious "cerimonia uomo" Formalwear.(Style agenda: a special promotion for Esquire readers)(Advertisement)
May 1, 2004... Lubiam, the 92 year old Italian luxury clothing manufacturer, has introduced its new tuxedo collection in the United States. Pictured is a one-button, peak-lapel, black tonal herringbone multi-stripe made in Cerruti's Super 110's fabric...

Tiffany & Co.(Style agenda: a special promotion for Esquire readers)(Tiffany Mark[TM] T-57)(Advertisement)
May 1, 2004... Tiffany & Co. is pleased to introduce the Tiffany Mark[TM] T-57, the timepiece of choice for the man on the move. Vulcanized rubber delivers uniquely responsive command points and ergonomic comfort. The T-57 absorbs punishment and offers a...

Serengeti Alto.(Style agenda: a special promotion for Esquire readers)(PolarMax)(Advertisement)
May 1, 2004... The Serengeti Alto is one of the showcase pieces in Serengeti's new PolarMax family. Serengeti's patented PolarMax lenses are ultra-lightweight, polycarbonate, polarized, photochromic, and have an anti-reflective coating. PolarMax is the...

Dodge Magnum.(Style agenda: a special promotion for Esquire readers)(Advertisement)
May 1, 2004... Dodge set out to make a sports car and then expanded the idea. You're looking at the all-new versatile 2005 Dodge Magnum with an available 340-horsepower HEMI[R] engine; the most powerful production vehicle for under $30,000. * Call 800-4ADODGE...

The sound and the fury.(Letter to the Editor)
May 1, 2004... ALL-AMERICAN ACTOR Mark Ruffalo welcomed readers into our March style issue with tales of the dismal tipping habits of David Arquette and the merits of marrying French. Inside, correspondent Tucker Carlson traveled the perilous highway from...

An outsourced army.(Letter to the Editor)
May 1, 2004... Upon reading Tucker Carlson's dispatch from Baghdad about the private security firms employed by the Pentagon, many readers questioned America's entrusting wartime responsibilities to private citizens and free-market forces. Thank you for...

XM Satellite Radio.(Style agenda: a special promotion for Esquire readers)(Advertisement)
May 1, 2004... You've never heard anything like it. It's XM Satellite Radio, with over 100 channels including 100% commercial-free music, plus the biggest names in news, sports, talk, and instant traffic and weather. All in amazing digital sound. Not to...

PER LUI PER LEI.(Style agenda: a special promotion for Esquire readers)(Advertisement)
May 1, 2004... PER LUI PER LEI silk is comfortable luxury. Only the world's finest quality silk is used to create each PER LUI PER LEI shirt. The art of these shirts is in the details: vibrant colors, distinctive buttons, and a collar that fits just right....

Seiko Arctura for men.(Style agenda: a special promotion for Esquire readers)(Advertisement)
May 1, 2004... The case is crafted from pure stainless steel and finished with a sapphire crystal. But Arctura's true distinction lies beneath its rugged exterior. Each watch is propelled by kinetic, the advanced Seiko power system, which creates electricity...

Funny * joke from a beautiful woman.(Man at His Best)(Brief Article)
May 1, 2004... Betty and Billy are married. While Billy's at work, Betty goes to the tattoo parlor to get a tattoo of their initials on her butt--a Bon one cheek and a Bon the other. When Billy comes home from work, Betty bends over to show him. And he says,...

The 9 most remarkable things in culture this month.(The Awards)
May 1, 2004... 1 Least Hairy Metal Band Li'l Gn'R, "the first ever Guns n' Roses kids tribute band," which can be booked for private parties at lilgnr.com. 2 Best Waterfall --From Seducing the Senses: Spa Visions of a "Bon Vivant," by...

The Originator: thirty-six years after he invented reggae, Toots Hibbert returns with an impressive list of friends and one uplifting album.(Music)
May 1, 2004... TOOTS HIBBERT SHOULDN'T LOSE sleep over his legacy. He created reggae. Literally. His 1968 single "Do the Reggay" stands as the first published use of the word. But, pushing 60, he's got a case of Santana Syndrome, whereby a legendary artist...

Chatter with a coal miner's daughter.(Music)(Loretta Lynn)(Brief Article)(Interview)(Biography)
May 1, 2004... It's early yet, but we've just heard our pick for the year's most genius performance by an unlikely duo. Loretta Lynn tapped Jack White to produce her new album, Van Lear Rose (out in April). Here, a conversation with the first lady of country...

The jailbait dilemma: does ogling tweeners make us dirty old men?(Movies)
May 1, 2004... TO THE SURPRISE OF NOBODY, Britney Spears made her film debut in her underwear. In the dreadful and inexplicably downbeat road movie Crossroads, we meet Spears's Lucy on the morning of her high school commencement. She's standing at her bedroom...

Q+A: Mickey Rourke.(Movies)(Interview)
May 1, 2004... The '80s belonged to Mickey Rourke: Body Heat, Diner, Rumble Fish, The Pope of Greenwich Village, 9 1/2 Weeks, Angel Heart, Barfly. The soft voice, the black eyes, the air of gentle menace. The critics agreed: Rourke could act his ass off. But...

Platon's portraits.(Books)(Brief Article)
May 1, 2004... THOUGH HE'S A GREEK WHO GREW UP IN LONDON, the iconic photographs in Platon's first book, Platon's Republic(Phaidon, $60), are a veritable primer on American culture. We asked the photographer to reflect on a few memorable subjects. *...

For your shelf.(Books)(Sweet Land Stories)(The Body of Jonah Boyd)(Brief Article)(Book Review)
May 1, 2004... E. L. DOCTOROW'S COLLECTION of five Sweet Land Stories (Random House, $25) offers a couple National Magazine Award winners and a cast of superlatively stoic fictional, narrators.... David Leavitt's sixth novel The Body of Jonah Boyd...

Big important: book of the month.(Books)
May 1, 2004... ROBERT LOWELL WAS DRAGGED out of a Buenos Aires hotel in a straitjacket. Then there was stark-raving-mad old Ezra Pound in Italy, spewing anti-Semitism for Mussolini. But no poet's bad behavior has more blatantly influenced his work than Philip...

Absurdly dangerous sport #1: drifting.(Cars)
May 1, 2004... LEAVE IT TO THE JAPANESE, the folks who turned cooking shows into testosterone-laden battles of manhood, to make a sport out of driving sideways. Bored teens there discovered that by cornering at the right speed, with the right balance of...

Absurdly dangerous sport #2 school bus racing.(Cars)
May 1, 2004... WATCHING SCHOOL BUSES RACE is a disquieting experience, sort of like watching rabbis wrestle or Buddhist monks play hockey, Disquieting--and fascinating. The sport has popped up in Colorado, in New York, and, most famously, at the Orlando...

This month's object of desire: the 2005 dodge magnum.(Cars)(Brief Article)
May 1, 2004... SHE'S A BIG GIRL. A man could get lost in her, in those 71 cubic feet of her luscious interior. He could lose himself looking at that full, open mouth in front; those big, round eyes; that ample, boxy trunk. And when he rides her, he'll be...

What it smells like.(Etiquette)(Brief Article)
May 1, 2004... BECAUSE WEARING COLOGNE, much like ironing one's shirt and bathing, is an act men perform largely to attract women, we asked three lovely actresses to judge a handful of this season's newest scents. THE COLOGNES 1) ECHO Jones:...

Things a man should not know ... (An occasional Esquire service).(Etiquette)
May 1, 2004... * The deep satisfaction of wearing an employee-of-the-month hat * The subscription number for Mel Gibson's father's newsletter * Colin Farrell's zodiac sign * The current highest-scoring WNBA player * The current...

Fast food: the 716-second lamb burger.(Food & Drink)(Brief Article)
May 1, 2004... IT'S ALMOST WEBER SEASON. But not quite. Till then, these lamb burgers--with a killer avocondiment--are best cooked indoors, under your broiler. MAKES FOUR QUARTER-POUND BURGERS 1 lb ground Lamb 2 tsp dried minced onion 2 tsp...

Restaurant of the month.(Food & Drink)(Brief Article)
May 1, 2004... AT CHICAGO'S HOT NEW VERMILION, everything is accented with the namesake color (with which married Indian women dot their foreheads). That includes the food, an ambitious fusion of Indian end Latin. Sure, that sounds like an odd coupling, but...

The sexiest bar set ever made.(Food & Drink)(Brief Article)
May 1, 2004... TUPPERWARE NOW SELLS a cocktail shaker. That's gotta be a sign of something--the impending arrival of the Antichrist, American culture's descent into hedonism, or maybe just the fact that a hell of a lot of folks are drinking cocktails these...

Projections are up: how to turn your living room into a movie theater. Without the $8 box of sno-caps.(Digital Man)
May 1, 2004... RECENTLY, SWEETIE (THE WIFE) and I accidentally sold our place in East Hampton, New York. We're moving to Telluride, Colorado, in four years and figured it would take that long to sell our overbuilt house. It took two weeks. We panicked and...

What's in your Netflix queue? Sarah Silverman, comedian.(Brief Article)
May 1, 2004... 1] Klute 2] Fresh (an amazing movie that makes me think the Academy must be racist, or at [east ignorant) 3] Crooklyn (see number 2) 4] Eye of the Needle (I wanted to see more of the young Donald Sutherland. He's a killer, but I don't care.) 5]...

Brazilian supermodels, Ringo Starr, snowflakes & hat etiquette.(Answer Fella)
May 1, 2004... ESQUIRE'S ANSWER FELLA believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don't ask questions, fearing they'll took stupid. So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn't know the answer, he'll find out who does, or who has a...

Esquire's summer-suit manual.(the Guide)(Brief Article)
May 1, 2004... THE FORGOTTEN SEASON Maybe it's because we're used to stretching that wool suit we spent so much money on last fall as far as it can possibly go that summer somehow falls by the sartorial wayside. It's doomed to be the forgotten season. But it...

Summer school: answer the following five questions to see if you'll graduate to next season.(the Guide)(Brief Article)
May 1, 2004... 1. Which color is least suited to summer? a) Light gray b) Khaki or stone C) Black d) Pastels 2 .The seersucker suit... a) should be matched with a Light-colored shirt. b) derives its name from the...

McDiculous: a new film that blames fast food for America's weight problem is clever, entertaining, and totally misguided.(Chuck Klosterman's America)(Movie Review)
May 1, 2004... STAYING ALIVE IS COMPLICATED. There is just so much in this wicked world that can kill us: cancer, avalanches, liver failure, street gangs wearing baseball uniforms, gravity, electric chairs, Rwandan death squads, hammerhead sharks, werewolves,...

Publishing suicide.(Chuck Klosterman's America)(Brief Article)
May 1, 2004... It's hard to fathom why anyone would still look to the magazine industry for titillation, since free pornography is the singular purpose of the Internet. (Actually, that's something of a hgperbole; we also need the Internet for fantasy football...

The restless man.(Real Adventures for Regular Guys)
May 1, 2004... THIS MONTH: Kayaking Waterfalls WHERE: A couple hours from Tampico, Mexico DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY: Just takes guts. Help if you can roll a kayak, but a trustworthy guide will do. COST OF SIX-DAY ADVENTURE: $1,020 (plus airfare) ...

Ten things you don't know about women.
May 1, 2004... 1. The whole metrosexual movement is not sexy. Steve McQueen is sexy. 2. I'm pretty sure Steve McQueen never wore sandals. You shouldn't, either. 3. That said, if you do feel the need to bare your feet, a pedicure is not a bad idea. I...

Drug of the month: Vivaxl.(The Overstimulated Girl)(Brief Article)
May 1, 2004... Chances are you wouldn't mind being happier. And I'd bet that you wouldn't object to a leaner body, a 2stronger immune system, and the sex drive of a bonobo. (Bonobos have more sex and are generally happier than any other primate, including...

How to work clean.(Getting Better)
May 1, 2004... How to Work Clean In the spirit of George's sermon, here are a few G-rated alternatives to some popular blankety-blanks. INSTEAD OF THIS SAY THIS A-- hole Nincompoop What the f---? ...

On cussin'.(A 30-Second Sermon)(Brief Article)
May 1, 2004... A WHILE BACK, I stopped cussin'. I never even slip anymore. Never. Now, I don't want to be one of those people who'd make you change your language just because I told you so. But let me tell you a story about Sonny Liston. Years ago,...

The happiest girl in the world: everybody at Sony Pictures says they're happy--the top boss, the various sub-bosses, the would-be bosses. As the studio faces a critical summer, the only question is: who's in charge?(The Industry)
May 1, 2004... DURING A MEETING with his division chiefs a couple of years ago, Sir Howard Stringer was called from the room. About twenty minutes later, he returned. "Boy, did I get my ass chewed out by the guys in Tokyo," he told his executives...

Sex.
May 1, 2004... I've noticed that some men (eg., my husband) seem to prefer pleasuring themselves in front of the computer to having sex with real, live women (eg., me). What's going on here? Is there anything to be done about this? The easiest answer to...

Viva Wal-Mart! Nobody loves the world's number-one retailer--except the millions of people who benefit from it. Now ... how can you profit from this?(The Portfolio)
May 1, 2004... EVERYBODY HATES WAL-HART. Recently, three business magazines ran "Wal-Mart is bad" stories. Union employees at three California supermarket chains launched strikes because of the effect Wal-Mart might have when it adds groceries to its West...

Michael Arad: how do you design a fitting memorial for America's greatest tragedy? Put it in the hands of an unknown Israeli architect.(Man of the Month)
May 1, 2004... BECOMING AN OVERNIGHT SENSATION in the sober world of memorial design may deliver you from a life as an obscure city architect, creating police stations that only streetwalkers in handcuffs would ever pause to consider. And it may validate your...

The unprocessed Johnny Depp: the essential meaning of the actor, patron saint of the lost and lonely.(Interview)
May 1, 2004... The fact is, I wanted to meet Johnny Depp because of Alison, my sister-in-law. She's about forty-five and pretty but always looks a little beaten down, one of those people who seem to apologize for living. She and her husband-who has a job...

Better body, better man ...(Body)(joints: care and treatment)
May 1, 2004... You're doing okay. You're doing just fine. No one thinks you're fat. No one thinks you're out of shape. No one looks at you and says, "How did he let himself go like that?" But in the back of your mind somewhere is that haunting knowledge that...

Josie Maran is a woman we love.(Interview)
May 1, 2004... The world needs another model-turned-actress like it needs another reality show starring midgets. But we'll take JOSIE MARAN. The former Guess girl and Sports Illustrated pin-up's attitude-free personality and candor mean we'll be rooting for...

Character studies.(style and actors)
May 1, 2004... They don't get private jets, cushy trailers, or even a lousy director's chair with their name on it. Nevertheless, each of these character actors turns in killer performances that make their faces memorable. To give credit where credit is due,...

Where's Tambor? There are many creatures whose ability to blend in with their surroundings helps them survive in a hostile environment. How many can you find in the picture at left?(The Esquire Quiz)
May 1, 2004... [] Racoon [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] [] Turtle [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] [] Possum [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] [] Frog [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] [] Snake [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] [] Jeffrey Tambor ...

A simple plan to save the world: ending extreme poverty, disease, environmental degradation, war? We asked one of the world's most influential economists--adviser to Kofi Annan and Bono alike--what would have to be done to put world on a curse to do exactly that. What follows is his modest little plan.(Interview)
May 1, 2004... IT IS INCREASINGLY HARD to believe the old adage that "people get the government they deserve." Despite having everything going for it--wealth, technology, unchallenged military might--the United States is facing a spiraling crisis made in...

Mario Batali: Chef, 43, New York City.(What I've Learned)(Interview)(Biography)
May 1, 2004... God is fat. God's also skinny. God's also Linda Evangelista. God's a lot of things. Who ordered all this stuff? Oh, yeah. Me. Food is much better off the hand than the fork. Mg first memory? I can't remember. But I can remember...

Letter perfect: as Tommy Hilfiger ups the ante on sophisticated American style, we get an inside glimpse of how a radically new line of clothing comes together.(Style)
May 1, 2004... IT'S NOT EASY FOR A household name to change his image. For proof, look no further than Tommy Hilfiger, whose name is still synonymous with the baggy-jeaned era of more than a decade ago. Never mind that he's made more-sophisticated suits and...

Jesus 2004: a handy guidebook based on conversations with those who know him well: he's the most talked-about man in the country. His influence is at a peak. His power is unquestioned. But what--whom--do we mean when we say Jesus?(Jesus FAQ)
May 1, 2004... Who is Jesus? Jesus is a man who called himself the Son of God and a god who called himself the Son of Man. He lived--and died---and lived--as both, and many people believe that he continues to live as both today. Where is Jesus? ...

Impossible choices.(This Way Out)
May 1, 2004... * Watch soccer on TV, or go shoe shopping with your girlfriend. * Burn apricot incense, or leave the window open and freeze. * Jog with this hot chick at five in the morning, or steep for an extra four hours. * Bad publicity or no...

Men of Metal: eyewitness accounts of humanoid robots.
May 1, 2004... an excerpt from the book by Rowland Samuel Published by Casson Publishing, Ltd. London James Casson, Proprietor 2004 Rowland Samuel All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means...