Esquire articles from March 2009

Esquire archives from March 2009

What you wrote about.(THIS WAY IN: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... It's hard for one person to explain the meaning of life, even if he is Clint Eastwood. So for the January issue, we asked forty-nine other politicians, actors, and athletes to help him out. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] * What I've Learned...

Life according to Clint--and friends.(THIS WAY IN: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] January was our eleventh annual Meaning of Life issue. It featured insight from people from all fifty states, including Clint Eastwood. Jim Brown. Paris Hilton, and the guy responsible for maintaining Mount Rushmore....

Worst geo-political hangover.(CONTRIBUTOR AWARD)(Great Powers: America and the World After Bush)(Excerpt)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] "We need to stop looking for security at the bottom of the bottle labeled 'Shoot First' unilateralism, because we will never find it there, certainly not in this world of rising connectivity and interdependency. We...

One day, seven perspectives.(THIS WAY IN)(Letter to the editor)
March 1, 2009... The January issue also included Election Day essays from many of our contributors-where they were and what it meant to them and the people around them ("November 4, 2008"). Tom Junod's piece broke my heart. In just a few bittersweet...

What I've learned: special territory addendum.(THIS WAY IN)
March 1, 2009... Although the January issue included interviews with people from every state, we didn't have room for the districts and territories. Here, wisdom from a few of the overlooked. Ricardo Bias Jr. GUAM | Judo competitor and Olympic flag...

The best of times.(THIS WAY IN)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] WE WERE SITTING AROUND in the conference room the other day talking about the dark mood that is overtaking the world. Prone to contrarianism as we are, we began making the case that-if you have the courage to buck...

What's with all the lawyers having so much free time?(THIS WAY IN)(Letter to the editor)
March 1, 2009... For his December column on the state of our culture, writer Stephen Marche took on the democratization of porn ("What's With All the Ugly People Having Sex?"). One home pornographer took on Marche. Who is Stephen Marche to say that I'm...

Bush: the new Hoover?(THIS WAY IN)(Letter to the editor)
March 1, 2009... In January's Man at His Best, writer at large John H. Richardson reviewed Adam Cohen's new book, Nothing to Fear. It--and Richardson--contends that Franklin Delano Roosevelt was primarily responsible for fixing the problems caused by Herbert...

What a poet laureate eats for breakfast.(THIS WAY IN)(Mark Strand)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... This month's issue includes sixteen pages celebrating breakfast food (starting on page I06), which former poet laureate Mark Strand is not very fond of. At least not in the traditional sense. What I have for breakfast is a good cup of...

A semifamous, sexy, supersmart babe Philip Kelly loves.(THIS WAY IN)(Letter to the editor)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] I'd like to nominate Jennifer Gardy, postdoctoral research fellow at the University of British Columbia, as a semifamous (in Canada, anyway), sexy, supersmart babe. (I can't remember the exact category in November's...

Elsewhere in the bin.(THIS WAY IN)(Letter to the editor)
March 1, 2009... I am an American who works seasonally as a helicopter pilot in central Alberta, Canada--affectionately known by the locals as "the Bush." Working in the Bush has its ups and downs. During the downs, reading is my primary and most reliable...

Dedication: an alumna we love.(THIS WAY IN)(Fran Kessler)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] To Fran Kessler, who retired after fifteen years as special assistant to the editor in chief: When you came to Esquire in 1993, Dubious Achievements--and the stock market-thrived. Unfortunately, so did pleated pants...

Signature dishes in surrogate cities.(THIS WAY IN)(Letter to the editor)
March 1, 2009... I've passed you along to friends, girlfriends, and coworkers. How do you repay my loyalty? By telling readers to eat Cincinnati-style Skyline chili in Cleveland ("Six Great Bowls of Chili," Man at His Best, December). For the first time ever, I...

Something to do at esquire.com.(THIS WAY IN)
March 1, 2009... Listen to our articles. Starting this month at esquire.com/podcast, we've made reading even easier-by taking out the reading part. You can now find a growing library of downloads featuring authors reading their stories to you, starting with...

Summer: a preview.(THIS WAY IN)(Buyers guide)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... One of this month's style features explores "The New Summer Essentials" (page 158). As a sartorial amuse-bouche, we offer two more summer products we think you should be aware of. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] From top: Cotton-twill utility...

The vocabulary: terms and ideas you will encounter in the pages that follow. Great for conversation.(MAN AT HIS BEST)(Definition)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... American adj: RAW, DIRTY, COMPLICATED, IRRESPONSIBLE, AUTHENTIC. (SEE PAGE 52.) CANADIAN adj: Safe, nice, hearty, persevering, steadfast, well-intentioned. (SEE PAGE 50.) THE: An article added to the names of groups of people in order...

The tenth annual alternative Oscars: this year: more Jean-Claude Van Damme.(MAHB: FILM)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] OUR STATUETTES are plastic. Our carpet is more of a cranberry. And our tuxedos are at the cleaners. Also, our tastes are slightly more objective than those of the Academy members. So, without commercial interruption,...

The rules.(MAHB: FILM)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... Rule No. 65: Swim trunks should be the only thing in a man's wardrobe that could be described as "fun." Rule No. 80: Men who go by William would be slightly more popular if they went by Bill, Rule No, 81: Men who go by Gary would be slightly...

The case for Sam Roberts: he's got chops. He's got songs. He's got stage presence. Incidentally, he's Canadian.(MAHB: Music)(Love at the End of the World )(Sound recording review)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] THERE'S SOMETHING a little too neat about the Canadians. A little too safe. The ingredients are there, but the anger and worry and ecstasy in their music seems to have shallow roots. Even if you extend them the...

Things Canada is good at.(MAHB: Music)(Brief article)(List)
March 1, 2009... Ice-breaking; snow clearing; staying warm; peacekeeping; aerospace engineering; the animated short; rescues at sea; public broadcasting; making oil out of sand; dark, weird comedy; recycling; skinning baby seals alive (formerly); the separation...

The way we aren't: there are lots of books being written about America today. Many even use America in the title. But the country they depict often looks nothing like the country in which we actually live.(MAHB: Books)('American Rust' and 'Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned')(Book review)
March 1, 2009... THOUGHT THE UNIVERSAL order of smart folks had agreed we were now living in a post-American world. If that's the case, then what's up with all the new novels that use American in the title--at least seven in 2008 alone. Maybe part of the answer...

52 words you should consider before reading this page.(MAHB: Books)(Excerpt)
March 1, 2009... "The thing is, I love my country. I'm proud to have been the star of a show with the word American in the title.... [B]ut somewhere inside, I knew it was a lie, that I was deceiving people. But I told myself it was okay because they didn't...

Obama's new map: as he assumes leadership of this freaked-out world, the success of our new president's foreign policy--and presidency--will depend on the thinking he does inside the box.(MAHB: Briefing)(Barack Obama)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] FOR ROUGHLY the past quarter century, America has run the world using the following two levers: its massive consumption rate and its willingness to deploy military forces around the planet. Together these two drivers...

Good wine. That happens to be in a box. Boxed wine might not offer a transcendent pour. But it's way better than it used to be.(MAHB: Drinking)(Buyers guide)
March 1, 2009... THIS IS HOW WE feel about wine: It's not something we generally obsess about. Cocktails, sure. Likewise Scotch, cognac, bourbon, and rye. But those are all luxuries, rewards, the carrot dangling at the end of the stick. Half the pleasure to be...

Twelve minutes in the bathroom: the collected wisdom of Esquire when it comes to ablutions.(MAHB: Grooming)(Buyers guide)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] THE BATHROOM IS a sanctuary any time but in the morning. We walk in a mess. We stink. We can't walk a straight line. We can't answer basic questions. We're more or less suffering from a mild concussion. Also, our...

The technique: shaving cream on the mirror.(MAHB: Grooming)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... A man exits his shower to a problem: In his state of undress, he is unable to see his own face in the mirror. Unless he smears it with shaving cream. Next time you're in the bathroom, polish your mirror with a dollop of shaving cream (Barbasol...

On men and bathing.(MAHB: Grooming)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... My dad was a shift worker at the plant, and so when he'd wake up in the middle of the day, I'd know to go draw his bath and get him some eggs. No shower for him; we didn't have one. And even if we did, he didn't believe in it. My father had a...

Funny joke from a beautiful woman.(MAHB)(Rose Byrne)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... AS TOLD BY Rose Byrne A WOMAN ASKED her grandmother how her grandfather had died. "He had a heart attack while we were making love one Sunday morning, Granny said. Horrified, the granddaughter told her that two people that old having sex...

A man and his scanner: our director finds one less excuse to leave people alone.(MAHB: The Digital Man)(Product/service evaluation)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] WHEN I'M NOT TESTING equipment for Esquire, or even while I am, I work with writers on scripts. We're rarely in the same place, or even the same state, which makes it hard for me to get my many insightful comments...

Sex.(MAHB)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Q: Should I be worried that I get aroused by watching my girlfriend make out and even have sex with other guys? I love her and we have great sex, yet I get incredibly turned on watching her work her magic. Are we...

Haircuts, hot voices, tidal forces & dust.(MAHB: Answer Fella)(Column)
March 1, 2009... ESQUIRE'S ANSWER FELLA believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don't ask questions, fearing they'll look stupid. So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn't know the answer, he'll find out who does or who has a...

The essential: the Ermenegildo Zegna unlined blazer.(Style)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Nice jacket, huh? It's cashmere, which is good, and it's made by the sure and steady hands at Ermenegildo Zegna, which is even better, and we understand if you want to try it on, right now, and never take it off. (A...

The unlined man of style.(Style)(clothing )(Buyers guide)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... THREE WAYS OF WEARING THE ESSENTIAL WARM-WEATHER BLAZER [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] [1] To Work Opt for something in a darker shade (brown or inky blue), and don't just throw it...

The extra 10 percent: a watch with a good story.(Style)(Swiss Army Infantry Village)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... THIS, MY FRIENDS, is Swiss Army's Infantry Vintage chronograph, all self-winding Swiss-made movement, scratch-resistant crystal, and reasonable, recession-ready price. It also comes fully equipped with a back-story: Its dark-green face is...

The store front: welcome to Armani world: the designer goes all in with a new Manhattan megastore.(Style)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] FOR ALL THIS TALK of soft, unlined tailoring, let's take a moment to recognize the man who built an empire to rival the Romans on the idea that the best-looking clothes can also be the most comfortable. We're talking...

The endorsement: the rumpled shirt: in praise of slightly wrinkled clothing.(Style)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] A WRINKLE-FREE SHIRT is like a football uniform without grass stains: It makes you look third string. Hesitant. Pretty. It makes you look correct, yes, but life isn't correct; it's wrinkled. Anyway, wrinkles are a...

Ask Nick Sullivan: the Esquire fashion director on wayward boat shoes, tuxedo storage, and a watch fit for the afterlife.(Style)(Column)
March 1, 2009... It's still a little chilly outside, but I'm itching to break out my summer shoes. Can I sacrifice traditionalism for comfort and warmth by wearing socks with Sperryboat shoes [Fig. 1]? --Joe Misseri, Baltimore, Md. [FIGURE 1 OMITTED]...

The captain: creative director Chris Cox charts a new course for Nautica.(Profile)(Interview)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] NAUTICA'S IS A STORY prone to metaphor. Of a vessel that set sail 26 years ago and survived economic storms and choppy retail seas by sticking to a tried-and-true course (the sailing jacket, the polo shirt, the...

Who's afraid of the dark?(A Thousand Words About Our Culture)(Essay)
March 1, 2009... [FIGURE 1 OMITTED] [FIGURE 2 OMITTED] [FIGURE 3 OMITTED] [FIGURE 4 OMITTED] [FIGURE 5 OMITTED] [FIGURE 6 OMITTED] [FIGURE 7 OMITTED] WHEN WE'RE ALL DEAD, when people are looking back at our time from a distance...

Recency bias: no one could have foreseen this economic crisis. Only ... that's not entirely true.(THE DATA)
March 1, 2009... In 1999, Paul Krugman (2008's Nobel prize winner in economics) published The Return of Depression Economics, a sort of catalog of the catastrophic failures in the industrialized economies of Asia and Latin America throughout the 1990s. Between...

The secret life of a well-dressed man: the guy who won our contest to be named America's Best Dressed Real Man last fall lives by a few simple rules: be different, live with urgency, smile ... actually, there are a few more, too.(PROFILE)(Kenyatte Nelson)(Interview)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] He lifts a forkful of omelet and chews thoughtfully, savoring a healthy combo of chicken and veggies, part of a dietary redirection that has left him, after six months of supreme willpower and about a trillion...

Just another day at the ponies with Clive Owen: at a racetrack in Paris, a writer gave a movie star $1,600 of his own money--not Esquire's money. His. It seemed like a good way to find out about a man, letting him bet with your cash. It was. It wasn't a great way to win, though.(Interview)(Cover story)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] The horse has a hard-on. A big, curling, reverse-banana hard-on that bobs itself into existence just as they saddle the big slug. We're twelve minutes from post, and I'm thinking three words: can't be good. There's...

Esquire's all-you-can-it breakfast.(Recipe)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Breakfast is the eternal return of the everyday. It must be both familiar and eccentric, both broad and precise. It would be mathematically possible to eat a different breakfast every morning of your life, simply by...

One of these men changed politics forever: David Plouffe--that mulleted guy, top right--is the man most responsible for getting Barack Obama elected. Now he's moving on to something more difficult, and potentially more important.
March 1, 2009... WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN to the moon, you can't come back to Earth and stand in line at Starbucks. You can't order a coffee, and pay for it, and drink it beside someone wearing Sarah Palin glasses and a cruise visor. The regression to mediocrity is...

Sarah Palin: governor, 45: Wasilla, Alaska.(WHAT I'VE LEARNED)
March 1, 2009... * We had flutes and trombones around the house. For my siblings and me, music was important to give us some balance. If it weren't for music, our entire social life, our avocations, all would have had to do with sports. * Everything I've...

The new American summer.(Esquire Style)(clothing)(Buyers guide)
March 1, 2009... A house, a beach, a little bit of sunshine: What more could a man want this spring and summer? Clothes, for starters, and fashion's whole new take on American casual-washed-out colors, laid-back shapes, and a look that's thrown together but...

Because they hate him and want him to fail: Shep Smith leads the happy warriors of Fox News into a new political age.(Interview)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Shepard Smith has a face made for television, a face seemingly created not just for the cameras but by them, a brand-name face that could be made into a mask and worn on Halloween. It's...

Kate Mara would like a moment to herself.(A Woman We Love)(Interview)
March 1, 2009... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Kate Mara's hand is small and supple. And it has a grip like a table vise. She grew up around football. Her great-grandfather on her father's side, Tim Mara, founded the New York Football Giants (Wellington was her...

The new summer essentials.(ESQUIRE STYLE)(Buyers guide)
March 1, 2009... THE BOLD COLORS, THE RADICAL REDESIGNS, AND THE REWORKED CLASSICS THAT ARE BRINGING THE HAPPY TO SUMMER STYLE [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] THE ROLEX COSMOGRAPH DAYTONA The dial says "Swiss Made," but this Rolex is an American classic....

Romantic comedy, 81 dies.(Recent Obits)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... A once beloved film genre about two strangers who overcome a seemingly insurmountable obstacle and end up as a happy couple, romantic comedy died in a conference room on the Warner Brothers studio lot Friday, as screenwriter Joe Bernstein was...

Music, 63,000, dies.(Recent Obits)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... Music, a series of ascending and descending tones, died today. The cause was Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience. After the death, a Chevrolet truck was driven to a levee, but the levee turned out be dry, and several Southern men were...

Perks, 4,200, are dead.(Deaths)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... Perks, the free goods or privileges that workers receive in addition to a salary, died Saturday. They were 4,200 years old. The cause was Glenview Graphic Design's announcement that the weekly "Wednesday's Bagels and Brainstorm" meeting would...

A little part of me, 40.(Recent Obits)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... A little part of me died Sunday when conservative commentator Glenn Beck's novel The Christmas Sweater debuted as number one on The New York Times best-seller list. It followed the recent death of two other little parts of me: one when the...

My son's innocence, 4.(In Memoriam)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... My son's innocence died Tuesday after he saw a redheaded woman named Dora getting doubly penetrated by two marines when I Google-image-searched the words "Dora" and "explorer" for him. My son's innocence was four. It had survived a series of...

Shock, 28,000, dies.(Recent Obits)(Brief article)
March 1, 2009... Shock, a state of emotional disturbance and surprise, died Wednesday in New York. The cause was an announcement by the nasal-voiced former TV star Fran Drescher that she would like to replace Hillary Clinton as the junior senator from New York....