Esquire articles from March 2002

Esquire archives from March 2002

The demands of style. (Editor's Letter).(Brief Article)(Editorial)
March 1, 2002... WHEN I THINK about men's style these days, I think of the two Maccioni brothers, who run the restaurant Osteria Del Circo, which is just down the street from the Esquire offices. Mauro is tall and dark, and he is always impeccably dressed for...

The sound & the fury.(Brief Article)(Letter to the Editor)
March 1, 2002... Much of our special January issue was devoted to seventeen What I've Learned interviews, culling a thousand collective years of insight from the wise and the wiseass, including, John Kenneth Galbraith, George Carlin, Robert McNamara, Edward...

Learning the hard way. (The Sound & the Fury).(Brief Article)
March 1, 2002... Perhaps the most talked-about component of our January issue was the remarkable story of Michael Wright, whose emotional account of his escape from the eighty-first floor of 1 World Trade Center, as told to Cal Fussman ("The Survivor"), stirred...

A Dubious absence. (The Sound & the Fury).(Brief Article)(Letter to the Editor)
March 1, 2002... So there I was in my local supermarket, looking for, and finding, the January issue of Esquire. I look forward to this issue every year because it always contains the Dubious Achievement Awards. Except this year. What gives? I hope that you do...

The greatest mail letters worth reading again: in June of 1961, Esquire published a griping letter by the then-most-controversial writer in the world. (The Sound & the Fury).
March 1, 2002... Let me quote this incredible passage [from Helen Lawrenson's article "The Man Who Scandalized the World," August 1960]: "He... of course, feels that in the good old days of the Czar, `a freedom-loving Russian had more freedom than under...

The good fight. (The Sound & the Fury).
March 1, 2002... In December, Mike Sager gave us the story of Lieutenant Colonel Robert O. Sinclair and the 1st Battalion, 4th Marine Regiment ("The Marine"). While waiting for auto repairs, I read "The Marine" in the December issue. Attaboys are in order...

Written in the stars. (The Sound & the Fury).
March 1, 2002... Our December cover article, an interview of Julia Roberts by George Clooney, and vice versa, facilitated by Mike Sager, continues to elicit praise ("What Julia Said to George"). What a brilliant idea to let them just babble on. I enjoyed so...

Shannyn Sossamon. (Man at His Best).
March 1, 2002... She's magnificently blase, Shannyn Sossamon is, yawning through the first 15 minutes of our interview (not rudely, though, not at all, just a little sleepyheaded at two in the afternoon), hungover after a late night of ice cream and drinking...

(The Excerpts): the best & worst of culture this month.
March 1, 2002... MOST POWERFUL IMAGES --From the Smithsonian's exhibit of presidential portraits, now showing at the Memphis Brooks Museum of Art Shtickiest One-Liner in Fiction "They played every resort in the Catskills. They'd work for peanuts,...

Ginger & Juice: we test-ride the new Segway. Drunk. (Man at His Best Merchandise).(personal human transporter)(Brief Article)(Evaluation)
March 1, 2002... We've all heard the hype: This nifty gyroscopic scooter is going to change the future of human mobility. Okay, fine. But what about the real question: Will it do anything to alleviate the transportation plight of the completely and totally...

How to have it your way.(innovations in product customization)(Brief Article)
March 1, 2002... With everything headed to hell in a handbasket, it's good to know that some things are actually getting better. Like breakfast. And porn. Yes, there are still a few things out there that you can have tailored to your taste, no matter how...

The forgotten victims of 9/11. (Man at His Best Opinions).
March 1, 2002... Tucker Carlson $4,000 bottles of Bordeaux Donna Hanover Bonuses Mexico Sobriety Ali Chandra Levy Jack Welch Michael Jordan Hillary Clinton Senator Jim Jeffords (I-Vt.) The ACLU The Bill of Rights ...

The indefensible position: Shakespeare was a hack. (Man at His Best Opinions).(Brief Article)
March 1, 2002... Okay, he wasn't a complete hack. Those tragedies are powerful and deep and majestic. And the histories are fascinating. But the comedies? They doth bloweth. Verily. Comedy in general, I think, ages about as well as unrefrigerated pork products...

The endorsement: Encyclopaedia Britannica.
March 1, 2002... They are weighty. That's the first thing you have to love about those 32 volumes. Snap them shut with conviction and marvel at that deep, resonant booming sound. It's the sound of gravitas, a sound no plasticky CD-ROM could impart. The second...

Big important Book of the Month. (Man at His Best Books).('Atonement')
March 1, 2002... Ian McEwan--master of the fable in a minor key--could be the most psychologically astute writer working today, our era's Jane Austen, only creepier. His new novel, the intricate, terrifying Atonement (Nan A. Talese/Doubleday, $26), unfurls with...

5 for your shelf. (Man at His Best Books).(Brief Review)
March 1, 2002... Finally, the equine love story you've been waiting for. Stud: Adventures in Breeding (Bloomsbury, $25), by Kevin Conley, is a somewhat disturbing but totally engrossing study of the sex lives of champion thoroughbred horses, with special...

Trend: books you can't read on public transportation. (Man at His Best Books).(Brief Review)
March 1, 2002... It's a growing genre, books about dirty words. Three new(ish) ones: TITLE: History of Shit (MIT Press, $13), by Dominique Laporte VERDICT: A lilting, hyperacademic dialectic of merde--worth every labored, postmodern second. SAMPLE POETICS:...

Time and time again. (Man at His Best Entertainment).(Simon Wells and Paul Davies on time machines)(Brief Article)(Interview)
March 1, 2002... OH, TO HAVE A TIME MACHINE. Imagine traveling back to that blissful era before domestic terrorism, the economic crisis, and Chris Kattan's movie career. Well, it seems we're not the only ones thinking along those lines. In a quirky twist of...

The most overrated show on TV: Six Feet Under. (Man at His Best Entertainment).
March 1, 2002... Back for a second season this month, Six Feet Under is HBO's most extravagantly praised series this side of The Sopranos. So how come nobody's noticed that it's basically a sitcom with elephantiasis? Under the hip veneer, the premise is the old...

Lousy political system. great wines. (Man at His Best Drinking).(Argentina wines)(Brief Article)
March 1, 2002... It's pretty clear that Argentina's got problems. It can't maintain its debt payments, its pesos, or its presidents. But there is one thing that this country has going for it: wine. I'm not being flip here. After California's central valley, the...

The manliest beer ever. (Man at His Best Drinking).(Sam Adams Utopias MMII)(Brief Article)(Evaluation)
March 1, 2002... Sniff it. Swirl it. Sip it. But do not disrespect Sam Aclams Utopias MMII. At 24 percent alcohol (yes, a 48-proof beer), it's the strongest beer in the world. And it will kick your ass if you treat it like frat-party swill. The just-released...

Sectional revolution: in defense of indecent furniture. (Man at His Best Design).(pondering the sectional sofa)(Brief Article)
March 1, 2002... I NEVER THOUGHT of myself as a sectional guy. And you have to be; to own a sectional couch, you have to be a sectional guy. It may even be said that you become a sectional guy once you own one. The sectional isn't just a couch; it's a lifestyle...

Turkey eggs, screaming paratroopers & fussy pockets. (Man at His Best The Answer Fella).(Brief Article)
March 1, 2002... Why don't we eat turkey eggs? Turkey eggs are edible--experts say they taste just like chicken eggs--but, like Jesse Ventura, they're big, ugly, and more trouble than they're worth. Turkeys scarf down twice as much feed as chickens do, lay...

The analogies. (Man at His Best The Answer Fella).
March 1, 2002... Please select the pair that expresses a relationship most similar to that expressed in the original pair. MICHAEL BLOOMBERG IS TO RUDY GIULIANI AS: a) Ronald Reagan is to Gerald Ford b) George Lazenby is to Sean Connery c) Hamid Karzai...

The essential: be well dressed: this month's picks for what to buy, where to buy it, and how to make it your own. (The Style Guide).(Brief Article)
March 1, 2002... Jacket Required USING THIS VERY CLASSIC double-breasted navy blazer with gold buttons, we will demonstrate how old money is different from the regular kind. Observe: If you have regular money, you can buy this jacket. And if you have regular...

Six ways to wear a denim suit. (The Style Guide).(Brief Article)
March 1, 2002... Europeans have a good attitude when it comes to denim. On these shores, denim still harks back to its work-clothes/gold-rush origins, which have made it hard for Americans to cut it into anything beyond casual wear. But designers on the other...

Patterned shirts for every price range. (The Style Guide).(Brief Article)
March 1, 2002... There oughta be a law. Actually, in sixteenth-century England, there was. By that time, shirts had evolved from functional tunics into decorative pieces of a man's wardrobe, and a shirt said so much about its wearer that it became illegal in...

We're gonna need more drugs: investors are down on Merck for doing things differently. Does that make any sense? (The portfolio: a man and his money).(stock analysis)(Statistical Data Included)
March 1, 2002... THE CRY CONJURES an image acted out by the Sweathogs to scare Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington straight: Gimme drugs, gimme drugs. In fact, the future of the drug business looks more like Park Avenue than Skid Row: an older, more prosperous...

Ben Stein is money: Comedy Central's goofball irrelevance--embodied in its low-rent "stars"--is very nearly a metaphor for what makes this country great. (The Screen).
March 1, 2002... COMEDY CENTRAL is where the hip and cheesy sides of cable programming come together. It's a T-shirt cart in the shopping mall, the Beav to parent network HBO's Eddie Haskell. Since Haskell Box Office predictably keeps the A-list comedy stuff...

Con men: if you doubt that College Basketball is every bit the professional sport that the NBA is, meet the three biggest stars of Conference USA. (The Game).
March 1, 2002... I FELL IN LOVE with it--college basketball, that is--at a drafty old barn in Lincoln Square in Worcester, Massachusetts, not far from where one of my great-uncles once owned a saloon. The Worcester Memorial Auditorium was square and huge, and...

The mogul imperative: the trend among Media Barons lately has been to push the idea that they don't need control. They're happy to share. That'll work.... (The Industry).(television industry)
March 1, 2002... AS HE TOOK HIS LEAVE from the Hollywood stage late last year, the little-lamented Edgar Bronfman Jr.--outgoing executive vice-chairman of Vivendi Universal--made a statement that helps explain why the industry takes such a dim view of him. He...

(10 things you don't know about women.).(interpersonal relations)(Brief Article)
March 1, 2002... 1. Women are the new men, and Elizabeth Hurley is their patron saint. At or around the age of twenty-five, the gender roles to which we've grown so woozily accustomed throughout puberty and young adulthood suddenly reverse themselves....

The information [Spring 2002]: the thinking man's A-To-Z Guide to the coming popular culture: who to watch, what to wear, when to move, and where to be in the next six months.(men fashion)
March 1, 2002... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Caption: COOL CHRONOGRAPHS The gap between Seikos and Pateks--a long-standing void that forced watch buyers to opposite extremes of the price spectrum--is being filled by a new crop of designer timepieces that cost...

Johnny Hamburger: hey kid, they say. When you going to grow up? Well, it just so happens that today's the day everyone's been waiting for. The kid will become a man. (Esquire Fiction).(Fiction)
March 1, 2002... IT'S HOT. Day after day of record-breaking, neck-searing, mid-July heat--heat that sweats you all day long and then, toward five when it should be easing off, cooks you all over again. Johnny Hamburger works two jobs, weekend nights at the...

[The best dressed men in America]: we're not talking about some stuffy, Brooks Brothers definition of well dressed. Each of these guys has a style and swagger all his own--elegant, easy, and often imitated. Herewith, Esquire honors the well dressed who walk among us so that you, the reader, might learn something, and also as a thank-you to these guys for bringing something new and good to our collective style consciousness.(celebrities)
March 1, 2002... The Top 10 IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. Despite Esquire's heritage of defining style for every generation of American men since 1933, we have resisted "best dressed" lists for some years. We found them trivial, troubling, and unhelpful. ...

Who is Goran Visnjic & what does he want? He's America's favorite TV doctor/Balkan War veteran/ off-road-driver-with-an-accent, and he just wants you to stay out of the passing lane.
March 1, 2002... IT'S A PITCH-DARK, PREDAWN, chilled November morning. Empty parking lot at the Good Guys stereo shop, corner of Ventura and Laurel Canyon. The Croatian is not an A.M. kind of guy; in fact, it is forbidden to telephone his house before noon. But...

The typical man: meet America's true average Joe. According to the latest stats, he wears briefs, eats a lot of meat, and hates Jenna Elfman.(Brief Article)
March 1, 2002... The typical American man is 5'9" and weighs 180 pounds. The typical man will live to be 73. His penis is 6 inches long while standing at attention. The typical man watches 4.5 hours of television every day. The typical man...

Why Nona? Why not? Mercy, mercy me! Marvin Gaye's daughter is all grown up. Introducing Nona Gaye, the true knockout in Ali.(actress)(Interview)
March 1, 2002... Let's settle the eternal question right now, once and for all: What is the perfect mood music? Well, there's Stevie Wonder--if you're looking to cuddle all night. Barry White perhaps? Too predictable. Rick James? Slow down, this ain't no...

What I've learned: Jim Willett [retired warden, 52, Huntsville, Texas].(Interview)
March 1, 2002... -- I presided over eighty-nine executions--eighty-eight men and one woman--and every one was different. -- I would signal that it was time to start the chemicals by taking off my glasses. -- The best part of leaving the job is not...

What's not to like? He's happy (at least, that's what his wife tells us), pain-free (although his neck is killing him), and talented (about that, we think there is no dispute). His show, Curb Your Enthusiasm, is the funniest thing on television. He has more money than God. He even looks good in corduroy. What more could Larry David want? Don't ask.(Interview)
March 1, 2002... TO LOOK AT LARRY DAVID--bespectacled, bald, and basset-eared, a long-limbed fifty-four-year-old fellow draped in untucked cotton and baggy corduroy, sipping lukewarm decaf--you would never glean his anguish. To hear him whistle as he works,...

The people's architect: from the new Academy Awards theater to the new Mohegan Sun casino to the viewing platform at the World Trade Center site to restaurants, hotels, and hospitals, David Rockwell is the one architect most likely to actually change your life.(Interview)
March 1, 2002... DAVID REACHES OUT AND TOUCHES THINGS. He wants you to touch them too. See this railing? How it's wrapped with leather? Doesn't that feel good? And those walls of black river pebbles embedded in black ash? It's impossible to walk past them...

The best of spring: Esquire Style a whole lot of suits, six major trends, and everything you need to know to get the jump on the new season.(Brief Article)(Illustration)
March 1, 2002... SHAPE As in, get in it. One of the season's biggest silhouettes is anything but, with narrow, snug, contoured jackets that leave little to the imagination. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Yves Saint Laurent Three-button single-breasted...

Buddy, can you spare a tie? The five cardinal rules of personal style. (From a man who doesn't have any.).
March 1, 2002... I ONCE LIVED WITH AN ATHLETIC TEXAN WHOSE exercise regimen and innate self-confidence allowed him to look good in everything from a pale-blue tuxedo to the fake Cherokee loincloth I bribed him to wear on special occasions. The guy could tuck a...

The man who was supposed to save us: here's the myth: if only our government had listened to John O'Neill, steadfast head of counterterrorism for the FBI, the fatal attack on the World Trade Center could have been prevented. The reality is vastly more complicated. And it's the gap between myth and reality that got John O'Neill killed on September 11.
March 1, 2002... O'Neill? Oh, yeah, O'Neill would have loved this. Look at the clock. Look at the bartender's face. It's 4:30 in the morning. It's closing time, babe, even in New York, and we're still talking about him. We're still trying to figure him out....

Male pattern boldness: (heirs to houndstooth, tweed, and argyle). (This Way Out).(Brief Article)(Illustration)
March 1, 2002... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] stripes [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] cheques [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] matzo [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] lotto [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] down & across [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] yellow pages...