Esquire articles from June 2006

Esquire archives from June 2006

The sound and fury.(Rosario Dawson and clothing)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... There was Rosario Dawson in a tight T-shirt and tiny shorts. There was a heart-wrenching story of survival. There was wit and wisdom and fashion advice. And truth. And then there was the story about taxing fat people (Big Idea), which generated...

Uh, sorry?(This Way In: THE SOUND AND FURY)(Letter to the editor)
June 1, 2006... Now you've gone and done it: You put Rosario Dawson on the cover of your April issue. How's a guy to work? To concentrate? To focus? To breathe? And, to make matters worse, we can't even retreat to the inside of your magazine for a respite...

Support for Sergeant Wells.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND FURY)(Letter to the editor)
June 1, 2006... The April issue featured the story of Staff Sergeant Brian Wells, an American soldier who was shot in the head in Iraq and underwent months af treatment, including the replacement of much of his skull. The piece was written by Wells's friend...

Cell-phone-related outrage of the month.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND FURY)(Letter to the editor)
June 1, 2006... I wrote last year that if you stated in print one more time that gentlemen must not wear their cell phones on their belts, I would cancel my subscription. Weil, you went ahead and did it. It's ludicrous to insist that we carry them in our...

Comparative lyrics corner.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
June 1, 2006... For a literary-minded magazine, I had to take exception to your raves about Green Day's American Idiot (Esky Music Awards, April). It should be noted that the most popular song on the album, "Boulevard Df Broken Dreams," is, lyrically, a...

We have no idea what these people are talking about.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
June 1, 2006... I was astonished that someone would consider imposing a fat tax. That is, until I put two and two together and realized that hoax master Alan Abel (page 76) and reclusive Texan Irwin Leba (page 106) are in fact the same person. I hope to God...

Highlights from other letters.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)
June 1, 2006... "I thought I was the only 'evil' person who wanted to tax the fatties! Let me know how I can help!" "I see the effects of obesity in my clinics all the time. I have looked over your taxation idea and have surmised that it's a fair method....

The Esquire retouch.(This Way In: THE UPDATE)
June 1, 2006... The August 1949 issue of Esquire offered the Esquire Touch: simple improvements to ten popular drinks. A lot can change in fifty-seven years--such as the use of headlines like "The Esquire Touch" so we've reprinted the original piece below and...

The poetry of disaster.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
June 1, 2006... Ever since Katrina, I've wondered how its effects would permeate the exquisite writing of James Lee Burke, the poet laureate of the Cajun lands. With your publication of his stunning short story, we have the answer. "Jesus Out to Sea" (April)...

Editor's letter.(terrorism)(Editorial)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... THERE ARE plenty of hot spots in the world, and C.J. Chivers manages to find (or place) himself at the center of most of them. A Moscow-based New York Times correspondent, he has reported on the unending war on terrorism from Israel,...

Esky Awards postshow.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
June 1, 2006... I have to agree that Dave Grohl, named best entertainer in the 2006 Esky Music Awards (April), is one of the best rockers I've ever seen live. At a recent show in Florida, he gave one of the most hardcore, rock-out, balls-to-the-wall shows I...

As long as you learned something.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
June 1, 2006... My roommates and I were sitting in our dorm room listening to music when I decided to pull out the "Best Song of the 21st Century" bracket (April). After carefully going over each song, we wound up with 50 Cent versus Eminem in the final round...

And that's the way it--eh, here are some letters about Walter Cronkite.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
June 1, 2006... Rosario Dawson was photographed beautifully, but when I saw the shot of Walter Cronkite (What I've Learned, April), I choked up. What an icon. TOM BURNAP Fort Bragg,, Calif. Walter Cronkite says he's not sure what he said on the...

Comtext-free highlights from letters we're not running.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... "For the most part, life is a steady parade of unfortunate instances punctuated with bouts of fear, malcontent, and depression that can only be reliably recounted by someone who's been there and has the ability to gut-wrenchingly sing of it in...

Elsewhere in the bin.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
June 1, 2006... Chris Jones is quickly becoming Esquire's next great writer. With two thoughtful and entertaining stories in the April issue ("Ed Grothus and the Doomsday Stones" and The Game), Jones has clearly expanded beyond the sports beat (not that...

Tom Hanks: the Esquire man.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... UNLESS YOU COUNT two presidents and Woody Allen, that is. With this month's cover appearance, Hanks becomes a six-time cover subject, tying him with Allen and putting him behind only JFK and Nixon, who appeared mostly on Dubious Achievements...

C.J. Chivers.(interviewed)(Interview)
June 1, 2006... C.J. Chivers Writer: "The School," page 140 ON SEPTEMBER 1,2004, The New York Times reported a new form of terror unfolding at School No. 1 in Beslan, Russia: "Heavily armed insurgents, some with explosives strapped to their bodies,...

Dedications & acknowledgements.(This Way In: THOSE RESPONSIBLE)
June 1, 2006... To David Wondrich, for his tireless efforts in helping create and assemble this month's "Best Bars in America" (page 107). Dave, we owe you at least three. Also, to those who helped Wondrich in his research: Angus Winchester, not only for...

Funny * joke from a beautiful woman.(Man at His Best)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... As told by ANA DELA REGUERA A wife asks her husband, "Honey, if I died, would you remarry?" "After a considerable period of grieving," he says, "I guess I would. We all need companionship." "If I died and you remarried," the wife...

The awards: the seven most remarkable things in culture this month.(MAN AT HIS BEST)
June 1, 2006... 1 Loneliest Girl From the new book LeRoy Grannis: Surf Photography of the 1960s and 1970s, a collection of 150 classic images by one of the genre's pioneers. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] 2 Best Follow-up Reporter. If most...

Jack Black, thespian: Q: How does a comic actor avoid becoming a punch line? A: Work with talented directors.(The Screen)
June 1, 2006... IF YOU'RE A COMIC ACTOR in the movies--and this goes double if you clawed your way to film stardom from the trenches of TV sketch comedy, which you almost certainly did--here's what you know without a doubt yet cannot bear to contemplate:...

The rules.(The Screen)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... RULE NO. 325: Every man needs a pizza joint that he will vigorously defend as "the best in the world." RULE NO. 382: If you purchase a paper shredder, there's an 85 percent chance that the first thing you shred will be the instructions. RULE...

Better in theory ...(summer camps)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... Bjork. Ripping up a parking ticket. An SNL digital short. The "Casual Encounters" section on Craigslist. "Outsider" art. A WEEKEND AT THE PAINTBALL TOURNEY, JUST YOU AND YOUR COWORKERS, Summer-camp reunions. Steely Dan. Remaining friends....

Q+A: J.J. Abrams.(The Screen)(Interview)
June 1, 2006... SUCCESSFUL television directors usually make the transition to film with small projects. Lost and Alias creator J.J. Abrams instead dove headfirst into the latest Tom Cruise tent pole, M:i:III. This month Abrams tests whether his...

Q&A: Elvis Costello & Allen Toussaint.(Music)(Interview)
June 1, 2006... ALLEN TOUSSAINT IS one of those guys whose genius means everything to the relative few who recognize it. Name a hit to come out of New Orleans since the '50s and he's had his hands in it, from "Working in the Coal Mine" to "Lady Marmalade." His...

The summer playlist: start with these six songs.(music)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... 1) Gnarls Barkley, "Crazy," from St. Elsewhere: Much-leaked collaboration between Danger Mouse and Cee-Lo will be the most catchy come-on of the year. 2) Alexi Murdoch." Orange Sky," Time Without Consequence: Understated British balladry...

Tony, Hawk: the skateboarding legend weighs in on a handful of new tunes.(THE VISITING CRITIC)(Interview)
June 1, 2006... * MINISTRY: "Rio Grande Blood" ESQUIRE'S TAKE: Industrial's legendary sickos wax political. HAWK'S: There's a big arena show we do, and we've used Ministry before for the finale. I've been a big Ministry fan since the band's early...

Reading list: beach books that don't suck.(Capote: A Biography)(Far Tortuga)(Little Children)(The Bogs of Summer)(The Essential Neruda: Selected Poems )(Book review)
June 1, 2006... TOM ROBBINS IS unapologetic: "I would only read the novels that people classify as beach books if I were being held prisoner and the only alternative was the Book of Mormon." (Mormons say the same thing about Stilt Life with Woodpecker.) So we...

Counterpoint: Absurdistan: a vilified character in Gary Shteyngart's new novel takes a swipe at his creator--the author.(Book review)
June 1, 2006... "THIS IS A BOOK ABOUT LOVE," the Russian-American writer Gary Shteyngart promises in his new novel, Absurdistan (Random House, $25). A book about lies would be more like it. On its face, this follow-up to Shteyngart's well-received The...

Extremely unwired in L.A.(ThinkPad X60s 170466U)(Sony Vaio TX)
June 1, 2006... Presently I'M IN L.A., directing a television pilot about bunch of couples in different stages of pregnancy and various levels of neurosis. I'm on the set starting at 6:00 A.M., and by the time I get home, after having several martinis,...

The family that surfs together.(Kyocera Wireless Corp.'s Kyocera KRI)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... THE KYOCERA KR1 (5300; kyocera-wireless.com) is a wireless router, but, more important, it is a cellular router. Put your Verizon or Sprint cellular PC card into the slot in the back of the Kyocera and boot it up, and it sends a cellular LAN...

16 things to do before Labor Day.(summer planning)
June 1, 2006... SUMMER SHOULD HAVE a personal beginning, something that has nothing to do with astronomy, astrology, or when the Sumerians decided it was time to put the beans in the ground. Summer begins the first time you ride in a convertible with the top...

In honor of our best-bars issue, we present ... the best bar snack ever.(Food)
June 1, 2006... OKAY, MAY I PLEASE get this off my chest? Screw truffled popcorn. I mean, seriously. I appreciate very much the idea of coming up with bar snacks more interesting than CornNuts, especially if I can be served my own private bowl instead of...

Things we won't be covering in Esquire this month.(Food)
June 1, 2006... Fries 6 Things, the automobile accessory that transforms any cup holder into a french-fry holder. Mario Batali's new book, Morio Tailgates Nascar Style: The Essential Cookbook for Noscar Fans. Bite Footweer's new line of shoes designed...

Franchise opportunity of the month: mozzarella bars.(Food)
June 1, 2006... OBIKA IS NEAPOLITAN SLANG for "here it is"--the "it" in this case being a two-year-old Roman mozzarella bar located near the Pantheon in the lively Piazza di Firenze. Young patrons congregate here at a counter that looks just like a sushi bar,...

Read this, get fitter.(The Better Man)
June 1, 2006... EVERY TIME you pick up a magazine, someone's suggesting you strengthen your upper body with a little rock climbing or maybe improve your balance with some yogilates. The thing is, you've already got your routine--and you like it. So we asked...

The hurried man: buy this, get "fitter".(The Better Man)
June 1, 2006... YOU'VE PROBABLY SEEN a few pictures of yourself that have encouraged you to get to the gym. But there really is no quick fix. Unless you consider the new HP Photosmart R927, an 8.2-megapixel point-and-shoot with a built-in "slimming" feature....

Ask Dr. Oz: free advice from a medical professional.(The Better Man)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... I always wear sunscreen, but I hear you can still get skin cancer even if you avoid getting burned. True? You can grease yourself up all day, but it doesn't necessarily mean you're preventing all the potentially harmful effects of sun...

I just started dating a girl who has lopsided breasts. Seriously, one's at least a cup size bigger. Is this common? And is there anything she can do about it?(Sex)(Column)
June 1, 2006... I know it can be quite jarring to be suddenly confronted with the mutations of the unaltered female ("pre-surges," as they're called), but asymmetry, even to this extent, is technically normal. Any number of things can occur during the five...

In your backyard: when you step out of your back door, you are the lord of all you see--at least on your side of the fence.(Eight Things You Need ...)
June 1, 2006... 1 A decent grill: Any schmuck can drop $5,000 on a stainless grill, but trust us, the Char-Broil dual-fuel grill is all the barbecue you'll ever need. $499; charbroil.com. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] 2 Drunken fun: Bocce is slightly less...

Japanese!@#%, human combustion & why Ugandans love the buffalo bills.(Answer Fella)
June 1, 2006... ESQUIRE'S ANSWER FELLA believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don't ask questions, fearing they'll look stupid. So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn't know the answer, he'll find out who does or who has a...

Stylish obsession of the month: Pure DKNY.(the guide: what to wear and and how to wear it)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... For those of us who attract creases no matter what we wear, fashion decided long ago that a little crumple goes a long way. Textile designers as far back as the eighteenth century sought to give a helping hand by inventing prewrinkled fabrics...

A name you should know: Bally.(Carl F. Bally )(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... When Carl F. Bally set up his Swiss shoemaking concern in Switzerland with the theme of mass production, he considered automation and the promise of high-quality shoes turned out by the thousands to be emblems of progress. That was 150 years...

A fragrance for men: Terre D'Hermes.(the guide: the suggestions)
June 1, 2006... Even by fragrance-world standards, the tag line of Hermes's Terre D'Hermes cologne is lofty: "A fragrance for men, between the earth and the sky." That may' sound like smelt-speak to you, but the cologne really does smell of earth and...

How to dress like: Richard Gere in American Gigolo.(the guide: the suggestions)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... Eighties chic cemented itself the moment Richard Gere laid out an array of Armani on his bed in American Gigolo. Fortunately, not all of the era's style virtues have gone the way of Gere's career. A one-button linen jacket (1) still has a...

How to: dress up Friday.(the guide: the tip)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... IF EVER THERE WERE A T ME TO GO AGAINST THE FLOW, ITS NOW. UPGRADE YOUR FRIDAY WARDROBE WITH FINISHING TOUCHES THAT PUT YOU IN A LEAGUE OF YOUR OWN. 1 The cuff links: Silver or white gold will match your other hardware. Keep the design...

The rules of packing: or, the difference between organization and disaster.(the guide: travel)(Table)
June 1, 2006... The Rules of Packing OR, THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ORGANIZATION AND DISASTER FOR SMALL SUITCASES Metolcose ($625) by Zero FOR MEDIUM-SIZED BAGS Halliburton. Leather duffel bag ($2,150) by Gucci. ...

The regulations: airline carry-ons.(the guide: travel)(Table)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... The Regulations: Airline Carry-ons A QUICK GUIDE TO THE RULES AND REGS OF USING THE OVERHEAD COMPARTMENT AIRLINE MAX SIZE MAX WEIGHT American Airlines[R] 45 inches 40 pounds Continental ...

Insolence lost: whatever happened to teenagers?(Chuck Klosterman's America)
June 1, 2006... IT'S DIFFICULT TO FIND PEOPLE who openly love Larry Clark, unless, I suppose, you happen to talk about film criticism at NAMBLA meetings. Clark carries a lot of(ahem) "disquieting baggage," most notably his ardent cinematic interest in young...

The worst Gatorade ever.(Chuck Klosterman's America)(Column)
June 1, 2006... I TRY TO KEEP my feelings in check. This is my policy, and I rarely waver. It is not just that I aspire to stoicism; I actively feel contempt for emotion. Yet sometimes even I cannot remain dispassionate, and this is one of those times. I love...

10 Things you don't know about women.(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... 1. Before you accuse a woman of being bitchy, walk a mile in her shoes. Her pointy-toed, high-heeled, impossibly uncomfortable shoes. 2. One more thing about the shoes: Most of them hurt too much to wear for too long. So, yes, we really do...

An epic backyard climb: a doable expedition that just may be the hardest thing you ever do.(THE Restless MAN: Real Adventures for REGULAR GUYS)
June 1, 2006... The Grand Teton, at 13,770 feet the grandest peak in the whole Grand Teton National Park, is so damn grand, it's practically a brand, an icon of the wildly picturesque mountain West. Early French trappers, looking up awestruck from their be...

Mike Judge is getting screwed (again); he made Office Space drones into heroes and transformed a suburban redneck into the King of the Hill. When will the Hollywood suits learn to trust this guy?(Portrait)
June 1, 2006... MIKE JUDGE IS GETTING on the phone with his boss, and he's wussing out. "Let me call the studio and check," he explains as we walk around suburban Austin, Texas. More than a thousand miles away, some Fox lackey is going to decide whether...

Confessions of an average man: a mid-career retrospective (with snapshots!) narrated by the official man of American men.
June 1, 2006... You know how you see a photograph and can suddenly remember what you did before that moment and what you did afterward for the rest of the day? Even in movies that I haven't thought about in a hundred million years, the ephemeral qualities of...

Da Vinci Code: da facts: five major heresies, of the book, for those who are a little behind.
June 1, 2006... CLAIM: Mary Magdalene was married to Jesus. Level of sacrilegiousness: ***** Level of believability: Roughly the same as the rumor that Keanu Reeves married David Geffen. Evidence for: In da Vinci's Last Supper, the images of Jesus...

Mia Farrow: (Actress, 61, Bridgewater, Connecticut).(What I've Learned)(Biography)
June 1, 2006... * I've not been dainty about experiencing life. I've absolutely plunged in. I should be fatter, really, because I eat so much. * My brother died when I was thirteen and my family just disintegrated. My parents are Irish, and they started...

The sexiest woman alive: a six-part peek at a day in the life of an icon.
June 1, 2006... PART 1: BREAKFAST You will not find the Sexiest Woman Alive at a photo shoot for a lingerie catalog. Or on the cover or a laddie magazine. Or at an adoption center in Somalia. You will find her in a trailer park. More specifically,...

Esquire's best bars in America.
June 1, 2006... You know a great bar when you're in one. If it's a dive, it's a Christ-this-place-is-dive dive. If it's an Irish pub, it's not an "Irish" pub. If it's a cocktail lounge, it's got some Tanqueray Ten and a bottle of rye somewhere. This story is...

Five things no bar should have.(America's Best Bar)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... (1) Natural light. Bars are supposed to be womblike sanctuaries, separate from the blinding bleakness of mainstream society. They should always be poorly lit, and they should not have windows. If I'm drinking at 3:00 P.M., the sun should not...

Great moments in bartending.(America's Best Bars)(Chronology)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... * 1731 London: James Ashley, the first celebrity bartender, opens his tavern, the Sign of the Two Punch Bowls. Age of Reason immediately begins its decline. * 1803 Amherst, New Hampshire: First mention of the cocktail in print. It's...

A physics lesson: the meniscus.(America's Best Bar)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... The meniscus is the curve in the surface of a liquid produced in response to the sides of the container. It is this tension that allows a liquid to actually be higher than the glass that contains it. In the case of a summer martini or winter...

Esquire's favorite bartender: Renato.(Renato Ziraschi)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... THE FIRST TIME WE DRANK with Renato Ziraschi, it was a warm, late-summer evening. A guy walked into the bar. He asked for a glass of water and started talking everyone's ear off. You don't talk anyone's ear of fat New York's San Domenico (240...

What I drink.(America's Best Bar)(Brief article)
June 1, 2006... As Esquire's drinks correspondent, I often hear the question "What'll you have?" Since it all depends on the bar, there's no one way to answer it. The chart in my head is arranged something like this.--D.W. AT A "BAR" BAR: A Bud and a shot...

The best bar in Baghdad.(America's Best Bars)
June 1, 2006... The best bar in Baghdad [L] YOU'RE NOT HAVING: A glass of Mr. Bonjour. We'll call it O'Malley's. I won't tell you its real name. Not that I wouldn't want your company if you happened to be in town. But mentioning its name in print...

The endorsement: not drinking.(America's Best Bars)
June 1, 2006... Whenever I've had a rough week, my buddy Bill will say, "You need to watch me drink a martini." And he's right. We head to one of his haunts, I sip a club soda while he slurps a Chopin, and, sure enough, I start to relax. Bill orders another. I...

Dania Ramirez: possibly the greatest thing to come out of the Dominican Republic since Pedro and Manny. And, you know, easier on the eyes: a woman we love.(Interview)
June 1, 2006... Pronounced as if the a were an ah. Pronounced as if the i were a y. Her name is Dania Ramirez. Not Dani or Danielle or Danica. It's Dania and it's worth remembering. The twenty-six-year-old actress from Santo Domingo, Dominican...

Ahoy, Polloi! The question is, are you man enough to wear one of summer's most luxurious blazers? Answer yes and you'll never feel underdressed.(ESQUIRE STYLE)(Buyers guide)
June 1, 2006... * Double-breasted silk blazer ($1,825) by Ermenegildo Zegna Couture; cotton shirt ($225) by Canali; cotton trousers (590) by Brooks Brothers; silk pocket square ($75) by Robert Talbott; gold Oyster Perpetual Yacht-Master watch ($20,700) by...

The school: on the first day of school in 2004, a Chechen terrorist group struck the Russian town of Beslan. Targeting children, they took more than eleven hundred hostages. The attack represented a horrifying innovation in human brutality. Here, an extraordinary accounting of the experience of terror in the age of terrorism.
June 1, 2006... SEPTEMBER 1 AFTERNOON, THE GYM. Kazbek Misikov at the bomb hanging above his family. It was a simple device, a plastic bucket packed with explosive paste, nails, and small metal balls. It weighed perhaps eight pounds. The existence of this...