Esquire articles from July 2007

Esquire archives from July 2007

Introducing our newest contributing editor: Halle Berry.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
July 1, 2007... After cover subject Halle Berry suggested that most writers get her story wrong, she did something we never expected: She went ahead and wrote it herself ("Halle Berry by Tom Chiarella by Halle Berry," May). Writer at large Tom Chiarella added...

Recreate & enjoy.(This Way In: EDITOR'S LETTER)
July 1, 2007... OVER TWO WEEKS RECENTLY, I saw several of the great triumphs of our government and then, devastatingly, our government's worst failure. My family and I spent a week touring the national parks of southern Utah (Arches, Capitol Reef, Natural...

The state of Middle East demography.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
July 1, 2007... In May, contributing editor Thomas P. M. Barnett addressed the foreign-policy issues our country will face in the coming years--the good news, the bad news, and the news that could go either way (The State of the World). I greatly enjoyed...

Okay, but you're paying.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
July 1, 2007... The May issue also included wisdom from Joan Rivers (What I've Learned). For most of my life, I have considered Joan Rivers to be a typical Hollywood star who wouldn't hold my interest in the real world. And then I read her interview. To my...

The influence of "influence".(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
July 1, 2007... In September 2006, we ran an article by Tom Chiarella on eulogizing ("How to Give a Eulogy") as part of his column, Influence. Almost a year later, we still get letters from readers who have benefited from that story, including this one. My...

Amazingly enough.(THE GREENING OF ESQUIRE)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... AMAZINGLY ENOUGH, not everyone considers every issue of Esquire to be a collector's item. Some people even throw them away. Unlike those people, Esquire loves our planet. Even the useless parts, like the Sea of Okhotsk. So we're joining the...

How to make "The Better Man" even better.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
July 1, 2007... Accompanying the health-related wisdom of The Better Man 2007 (May) was a list of dangerous indulgences ("60 Things Worth Shortening Your Life For"). The idea that all five of our country's most decadent burgers (numbers 34 through 38) can be...

Robert Shawn Bennett's favorite things about the May issue (abridged) ...(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
July 1, 2007... 1. Halle's hips on the cover. 2. The pic of Molly Shannon (Ten Things You Don't Know About Women), which erased my bad memories of Superstar. 3. Tamales (The Restless Man). 4. Joan Rivers, whose interview (What I've Learned) was...

And a few of Bart Epstein's.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
July 1, 2007... 1. The Q&A with Nick Cave (Man at His Best) was a tasty little nugget. Every few months I fall back in love with his album Murder Ballads. 2. The Angry German (Man at His Best). Remember when Seinfeld was hilarious, and it was impossible...

Elsewhere in the bin.(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
July 1, 2007... I was psyched to see you used agave nectar as one of the ingredients in "The World's Healthiest Cocktail: The IV" (The Better Man 2007, May). I've been using it in my morning oatmeal (good breakfast eating, according to Dr. Oz) and in tea, but...

I, California.(FROM ONE OF OUR OWN)(Brief article)(Book review)
July 1, 2007... BEFORE SHE WAS ESQUIRE'S SEX COLUMNIST, Stacey Grenrock Woods was many things, including a tap dancer, a correspondent for Comedy Central's The Daily Show, a recurring character on Fox's Arrested Development, and a rejected Playboy centerfold....

Cliff Watts.(Those Responsible)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... Photographer: The Sexiest Woman Alive, page 66 THE LONG, SLOW reveal of the 2007 Sexiest Woman Alive begins this month with the first of many carefully obscured photographs of the new titleholder by Cliff Watts. In his four years working...

Matthew Belloni.(Those Responsible)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... Writer: "The Man Who Could Kill You Tube," page 71 "THERE ARE A LOT OF GUYS who come out of the woodwork and sue big companies, but this is a guy who has financed litigation up to the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals. He could settle, but he...

Funny * joke from a beautiful woman.(MAN AT HIS BEST: The Front)(Beau Garrett )(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... After dinner, two elderly women retire to the kitchen and leave their husbands to chat. One of the men says, "Last night we went out to a great new restaurant." The other asks, "What's it called?" The first man knits his brow in concentration...

The leisure meter: how to allocate your free time this month.(MAN AT HIS BEST: THE FRONT)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... Reading The Tin Roof Blowdown, James Lee Burke's engrossing new novel about Louisiana detective Dave Robicheaux's attempts to curtail crime in post-Katrina New Orleans. 4 hours Attending Tales of the Cocktail, a celebration of drinking led...

The Jester and the King: Jim Carrey passes along a role--and just maybe the mantle of American comedy--to Steve Carell.(MAN AT HIS BEST: THE SCREEN)
July 1, 2007... CONGRATULATIONS! You've been randomly selected to receive a pair of free tickets to a special sneak preview for one of two major Hollywood comedies. Your first option is a sequel to a box-office hit of 2003, a zany fantasy starring...

Q&A: Steve Zahn.(MAN AT HIS BEST: THE SCREEN)(Interview)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... THROUGHOUT HIS CAREER, Steve Zahn has demonstrated a dramatic range that spans from slacker to stoner to slacker-stoner. But his portrayal of Duane Martin, an emaciated, dysentery-ravaged American POW fleeing a jungle prison camp in legendary...

The 30-day forecast: the Doyle report: sixty years after they first arrived, and were dissected, and despite the pastings we've regularly given them ever since, they keep coming.(MAN AT HIS BEST: THE SCREEN)
July 1, 2007... LET THEM COME We're watching the skies. Humanoids of varying hues and degrees of obesity ape expected at the Amazing Roswell UFO Festival this month to celebrate America's continuing triumph over Others, with an Alien Parade, Alien Costume...

TV: Tenacious N.Z.(MAN AT HIS BEST: THE SCREEN)(New Zealanders)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... HBO'S NEWEST ATTEMPT at converting stand-up comedy to a half-hour series is everything its last effort, the mercifully canceled Lucky Louie, wasn't: funny. Flight of the Conchords stars Jemaine Clement (near left) and Bret McKenzie,...

The survivor: in a year of surprising second acts, Roky Erickson's is the most unlikely of all.(MAN AT HIS BEST: MUSIC)
July 1, 2007... IT WAS BACK IN 1993. At home in Austin, Roky Erickson had been nudged center stage, arms crossed, mumbling. His hair was matted into an accidental mullet, his teeth rotted to nubs. The voice I was hearing, once capable of both warmth and...

Patton Oswalt.(The Visiting Critic)(Interview)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... MEAT PUPPETS, "On the Rise," from Rise to Your Knees ESQ: A smart piece of psychedelia from the influential band. PO: It's like sitting on Uncle Punk's lap: "Oh, yes. You want to pierce that? You want to burn the White House down? Fine....

Family Tree Nick Drake.(GOOD MUSIC)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... A raw, languid set of previously unreleased home recordings from the British folk singer who found fame only after his death in 1974 at 26. Highlights include "Cocaine Blues," "Been Smokin' Too Long," and Bob Dylan's "Tomorrow Is a Long Time."...

Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga, Spoon.(GOOD MUSIC)
July 1, 2007... Six records in, Spoon somehow finds ten new ways to make three-minute pop songs lush, expansive, and near perfect.

Octopus, A Band of Bees.(GOOD MUSIC)
July 1, 2007... A strange, healthy marriage of funk, reggae, soul, and Brit pop. Trumpets and electric organs meet acoustic guitar and wry humor.

Version, Mark Ronson.(GOOD MUSIC)
July 1, 2007... The DJ/producer/ celebrity throws a Stax-like soul sheen on Radio-head, the Smiths, and Ryan Adams; and coaxes better-than-their-own-records cameos from Lily Allen and Amy Winehouse.

How to rebuild a broken man: try manual labor. Or reading Ron Carlson.(MAN AT HIS BEST: BOOKS)(Five Skies)(Book review)
July 1, 2007... RON CARLSON WRITES about men. Solid, genuine, worn men. Men eclipsed by current culture, men of substance and heft, men we could all stand to spend more time with, lest we forget they exist. The three men in Five Skies (Viking, $24),...

Exposure.(SEVENTEEN-WORD REVIEWS)
July 1, 2007... EXPOSURE (Little, Brown, $24), by Kurt Wenzel: A slightly entertaining, mostly boring satire about greed that's too silly to have any real bite. Pass.

Deer Hunting with Jesus.(SEVENTEEN-WORD REVIEWS)(Dispatches from America's Class War)(Brief article)(Book review)
July 1, 2007... DEER HUNTING WITH JESUS (Crown, $25), by Joe Bageant: Gonzo rip through Virginia that challenges liberals to court the Jesus-loving, Bud-drinking poor. Fat chance. Good read.

Restitution.(SEVENTEEN-WORD REVIEWS)
July 1, 2007... RESTITUTION (Knopf, $24), by Lee Vance: Future film adaptation stars Ben Affleck as crime-solving i-banker and Morgan Freeman as avuncular black guy. Eh.

Competition.(SEVENTEEN-WORD REVIEWS)
July 1, 2007... COMPETITION (Hill and Wang, 926), by James Chase: Described as heir to an earlier science masterpiece, Chaos. But don't believe the hype: It's merely chaotic.

Woody Allen, Chick Magnet: he always had a way with the women. And now, with his first new essay collection in 25 years, you can, too.(MAN AT HIS BEST: BOOKS)(Mere Anarchy)(Brief article)(Book review)
July 1, 2007... TRUE STORY: It was sophomore year, in the cafeteria at Ross S. Sterling High School in Baytown, Texas. It was Tuesday, I remember that. I had a beat-up copy of Getting Even, by Woody Allen, that I'd been flashing around, trying to impress a...

How to wake her: breakfast in bed, by a French chef who knows.(MAN AT HIS BEST: WOMEN)(Recipe)
July 1, 2007... BREAKFAST IS AN EASY THING to take for granted. We throw it together, we eat it quickly. That's why breakfast in bed is so romantic. It requires forethought. We just started serving breakfast at DB Bistro Moderne, in New York, but I make this...

The angry German: American women.(MAN AT HIS BEST: WOMEN)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... (Note: This article is best read aloud a German accent) ONE OF THE BIGGEST REASONS for me to come to the States were the women. The rumor was that you could get great oral sex here, and boy did this prove to be true. However, flirting and...

The bewildered man: severely straight hair.(MAN AT HIS BEST: WOMEN)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... WOW, WOMEN of America, hair. You've really straightened your hair. Couldn't be any straighter. What do you call that? Limp? It's pointy, actually. Like a headdress of chopsticks. No, we don't hate it. It's a little severe maybe, but it works on...

The Louis Vuitton Tambour XL LV Cup Regatta Chronograph.(OBSESSION OF THE MONTH)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... Ten minutes probably won't buy you a whole lot this summer. A few laps in a pool, a hole of golf, six inches of movement in holiday traffic. But for the sailing teams competing in the America's Cup, which wraps up an 11-week competition this...

The (summer style) rules.(MAN AT HIS BEST: THE GUIDE)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... No shirt, no shoes, always a problem. It's 16 percent more difficult to respect a man once you've seen his toes. Shorts: never below the knee and never higher than halfway up your thigh. Unless your name is Debbie. Before buying a pair of white...

How to pull off a summer look *.(THE GUIDE: STYLE)(Buyers guide)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... SEERSUCKER It comes in all kinds of snazzy colors and patterns these days. Ignore them and stick with the classic seersucker stripe--pale blue and off-white--which is classic for a reason. When worn with a white cotton oxford, it's as...

The new (and improved) electric shaver: all the buzz on the best new razors.(THE GUIDE: GROOMING)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... BEST DESIGN Axis recently broke a decades-long, largely unspoken rule that electric shavers had to be as unfortunate looking as possible. The Air ($140; axisshavers. com) is small enough to fit handily in most Dopp kits, and its sleek,...

The summer haircut.(THE VISUAL ARGUMENT)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... FROM LONG ON TOP to short all around, four cuts that keep things simple and cool. THE BUZZ CUT: Zidane, Z. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] THE CREW CUT: Pitt, B. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] THE CAESAR: Newman, P. [ILLUSTRATION...

Anthelios SX sunscreen.(THE ENDORSEMENT)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... Recently approved by the FDA, this French sunscreen blocks not only conventional UVA and UVB rays, but its key ingredient, Mexoryl SX, also targets the shortest wavelengths of UVA, which other sunscreens miss. $29 for 3.4 oz; anthelios.com. ...

Web Eyewear.(A NAME TO KNOW)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... A joint venture between two very stylish Italians (Diego Della Valle of Tod's and Luca di Montezemolo of Ferrari), Web sunglasses update the free-flying style of 1930s aviators using modern ultralight materials and lenses. Sunglasses ($215...

Keep your white sneakers white.(THE EXTRA 10 PERCENT)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... ADD WHITE SNEAKERS to just about any look and knock ten years off your age. Not off-white or dusted-up, color-of-Ted-Kennedy's-teeth white. Just white. STAN SMITHS, Adidas [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] JACK PURCELLS, Converse ...

The $5,000 wardrobe: part 5 (of 10), dress shoes.(THE GUIDE: STYLE)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... IN AN IDEAL WORLD, everyone would have at least two pairs of dress shoes--one black and one brown--but if life backs you into a corner and forces you to choose, go with black. Make that inky black, and to maximize your mileage, make it a pair...

If you own only one camera ... it should be one of these--the next generation of pocket-size point and shoots.(THE GUIDE: THE DIGITAL MAN)
July 1, 2007... NEVER DID I THINK I'd be writing my gadget column from San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua, but Chloe, my 13-year-old, is here with a group of kids from Telluride, Colorado, performing a bilingual play based on a Yiddish folktale. Sweetie (the wife)...

The rules.(THE GUIDE: THE DIGITAL MAN)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... Rule No. 277: Sigourney Weaver should narrate every nature show on television. Rule No. 398: The biggest problem with bed-and-breakfast establishments is that they are generally inhabited by "bed-and-breakfast people." Rule No. 599: The most...

Notes from a southern supper club: the gluttonous traveler.(THE GUIDE: TRAVEL)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... MY FRIENDS UP NORTH hear "supper club" and imagine kitchens packed with women whining over private-school tuition. Picture this: Wadmalaw Island, an unspoiled sea jewel outside of Charleston, South Carolina, an old plantation's...

Cancun, hold the body shots.(THE GUIDE: TRAVEL)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... THE PREVAILING IDEA most people have of Cancun is an overbuilt beach for spring breakers where the restaurants have names like La Casa de las Margaritas. But head south along the broad highway 307 to the "Mayan Riviera" and you'll find the...

How to catch Barry Bonds's 756th home run.(THE GUIDE: TRAVEL)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... HE'S GOING TO BREAK Hank Aaron's record soon. Make peace with it. And a profit. TIMING: Excluding his injury-plagued 2005 campaign, since 1999 Bonds has averaged one home run every 3.55 team games. Weighing improving health against advancing...

Lately, my girlfriend and I have been trying something I can only describe as a mix between the Butterfly and the Wheelbarrow. How do I go about spreading a new sex position? Can I get credit for it?(THE GUIDE: SEX)
July 1, 2007... Do you really think humankind needs a third sexual position? We barely use the ones we've got. (Not that I'm laying blame. I mean, after a long run of Rickshaw, who has the energy to get into the Badger? Sheesh!) But if I don't answer the...

Parkour, without the suicide: practitioners of the French sport may be nuts, but they're very, very flexible.(DR. OZ SPEAKS)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... IF YOU'VE SEEN the chase scene through the Madagascar construction site in Casino Royale, you've seen parkour--a crazy French hybrid of running and martial arts whose practitioners jump over cars, swing through trees, and careen up the sides of...

Surprisingly effective gear of the month: Zapz custom insoles.(THE GUIDE: THE BETTER MAN)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... OF ALL the things you can customize--your suit, your Yahoo! home page, the interior of a new C-Class--the fit of your sneakers is among the most crucial. Your feet are unique, like snowflakes. Callused, abused, sweaty snowflakes that elongate...

The overstimulated girl.(THE GUIDE: THE BETTER MAN)(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... YOUR LOCAL HEALTH-FOOD STORE is a sinkhole of false promises, but among the junk there are gems. It's my job to find them, try them, and report back. DRUG OF THE MONTH: BIOVENE WHAT IS IT? A blend of proteolytic enzymes, bioflavonoids,...

Healthy drinking: ripening with age & the mystery of mosquito attraction.(THE GUIDE: ANSWER FELLA)
July 1, 2007... ESQUIRE'S ANSWER FELLA believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don't ask questions, fearing they'll look stupid. So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn't know the answer, he'll find out who does or who has a...

10 Things you don't know about women.(Brief article)
July 1, 2007... 1. Sorry, but we're actually all not "a little gay." 2. When "we" are pregnant, don't ever tell anyone "we're pregnant," because "we're" not. 3. We loosened the jar first. 4. It's always, always better to go commando than to show...

In search of good advice: wisdom exists in the world, and it's yours for the asking. But it don't come easy.(INFLUENCE)
July 1, 2007... LAST SUMMER IN THE DETROIT AIRPORT, I found myself drunk, in the half-light of evening, staring at this coffee mug with phrases written on one side. It took a moment before I understood what I was looking at: a cup with eleven different pieces...

The sexiest woman alive 2007: part 1: brace yourself. Pace yourself. Over the next four issues, we'll expose the new sexiest woman alive through a slow unveiling that begins right now. At right, you'll find peek no. 1. Let the wild speculation begin * ... who is she?(Lift here for PART 1)(Interview)
July 1, 2007... IN JUST FOUR MONTHS, Esquire will attempt something rare indeed: a smooth and bloodless transition of power. Come November, actress Scarlett Johansson will complete her term as the Sexiest Woman Alive, a position she has held with grace and...

The man who could kill YouTube: Bob Tur is the little guy who is suing one giant (Google) to do what another giant (Viacom) probably never will--shut YouTube down.(MAVERICKS)
July 1, 2007... A SINGLE BOTTLE BROKE THE CALM, shattering in the late-afternoon sun. Then another... and another. A few men walked into Tom's Liquor and walked out quicker than would be possible if they'd paid. A family followed, tossing groceries into the...

Angelina Jolie dies for our sins: a very beautiful woman who sees herself as the underdog becomes very famous. Because of her fame, she suffers. Because of her suffering, she becomes even more famous. Then she becomes virtuous. Very, very virtuous.
July 1, 2007... THIS IS A 9/11 STORY. Granted, it's also a celebrity profile--well, a profile of Angelina Jolie--and so calling it a 9/11 story may sound like a stretch. But that's the point. It's a 9/11 story because it's a celebrity profile--because...

Stephen King: The Gingerbread Girl.(ESQUIRE FICTION)(Novella)
July 1, 2007... 1 Only fast running would do. AFTER THE BABY DIED, Emily took up running. At first it was just down to the end of the driveway, where she would stand bent over with her hands clutching her legs just above the knees, then to the end of...

The Americans have landed: a few years ago, with little fanfare, the United States opened a base in the horn of Africa to capture or kill Al Qaeda fighters fleeing the Middle East into Muslim Africa. By 2012, the Pentagon will have two dozen such forts on the continent. The story of Africa command, the American military's new frontier outpost.(AFRICA COMMAND)
July 1, 2007... THE WORD CAME DOWN SUDDENLY in early January to the fifty or so U.S. troops stationed inside Camp Simba, a Kenyan naval base located on that country's sandy coast: Drop everything and pull everyone back inside the compound wire. Then they were...

Jack & Meg White.(What I've Learned)(Interview)
July 1, 2007... MUSICIANS, 31 AND 32, NASHVILLE AND LOS ANGELES Meg's really afraid of this interview, by the way. That's why she's not talking. Simple is not always better. For Michelangelo, no. For the White Stripes, simple is better. I was an...

I think you're fat: this story is about something called Radical Honesty. It may change your life.(But honestly, we don't really care.)
July 1, 2007... HERE'S THE TRUTH ABOUT WHY I'M WRITING THIS ARTICLE: I want to fulfill my contract with my boss. I want to avoid getting fired. I want all the attractive women I knew in high school and college to read it. I want them to be amazed and impressed...

Seven bold: statements.(style)(Buyers guide)
July 1, 2007... There are worse ways of getting the world's attention than a pinstripe suit and a strong opinion. Luckily for him, British actor Naveen Andrews--a Lost castaway and the star of the upcoming thriller The Brave One--has plenty, of both. Here he...

This way out.
July 1, 2007... Other Magazines Bono Is Guest Editing This Month [ILLUSTRATIONS OMITTED]