Esquire articles from July 2004

Esquire archives from July 2004

Pure linen suits from Jack Victor beat the summer heat.(Style agenda: a special promotion for Esquire readers)(Advertisement)
July 1, 2004... Be cool this season in a hot weather classic, pure Italian linen from JACK VICTOR'S Spring 2004 suit collection. On those really scorching days, linen is a versatile addition to any man's wardrobe. And the natural texture and unique strength of...

Tanqueray gin.(Style agenda: a special promotion for Esquire readers)(Advertisement)
July 1, 2004... Since 1830, the truly distinctive flavor of Tanqueray has made it the choice of discerning gin drinkers worldwide. For a fresh summer twist, try a Tanqueray Madras. Combine 1.5 oz. of Tanqueray Gin and 2 oz. each of cranberry and orange juices....

Gianfranco Ferre boutique New York.(Style agenda: a special promotion for esquire readers)
July 1, 2004... Gianfranco Ferre new U.S. flagship store on New York's Madison Avenue is now open. The store encompasses approximately 3,000 square feet of retail space on two levels. The boutique carries Gianfranco Ferre's ready-to-wear collections for both...

The sound and the fury.(Letter to the Editor)
July 1, 2004... HOLLYWOOD'S MOST STYLISH rebel-cum-loner, Johnny Depp, opened our May issue with pirate stories and reflections on making a career of failing. Inside, Curtis Pesmen outlined ways to get ill shape for summer ("Better Body, Better Man"), and...

Jesus in America.(Letter to the Editor)
July 1, 2004... Also in May, writer at large Tom Junod profiled the most influential presence in America and examined what he means to believers and nonbelievers alike ("Jesus, 2004"). As a follower of Christ, I braced myself upon seeing May's table of...

Bargain buster.(Letter to the Editor)
July 1, 2004... In May's Portfolio, contributing editor Ken Kurson heaped unapologetic praise upon the world's largest and most despised retailer. There is nothing-no act of terror or force of nature-that is so destructive to a neighborhood business...

Funny * joke from a beautiful woman.(Man at His Best)
July 1, 2004... On the chest of a barmaid at Yale, Were tattooed the prices of ale. And on her behind, For the sake of the blind, Was the same information in Braille. As told by About the jokester: Her poetry of choice may be Irish, but Alexa...

The awards: the seven most remarkable things in culture this month.
July 1, 2004... 1 Most Erotic Bug Photo A blowfly laying eggs from Buzz, a new book about insects 2 Best Lefty Lyrics "The cocaine cowboy is going back to war Another strip mall opens on Route 4 Call it love baby on your cyber screen Mother nature...

Bigger and badder: why does Hollywood keep trying to turn crappy, low-rent into TV shows less-crappy big-budget movies?(Movies)
July 1, 2004... NO SOONER HAD PARAMOUNT ANNOUNCED it was resuscitating its long-dormant movie version of The Love Boat (complete with a hip-hop update of the theme song) than I began to dread the prospect of reading about the casting of actors with passing...

The mentality of metalhead.(Movies)
July 1, 2004... METALLICA: SOME KIND OF MONSTER could be the strangest and most disturbing rockumentary since Madonna fellated a water bottle. The members of Metallica set out to document the creation of a new album. They ended up with two hours of couch...

Random knowledge about the plague.(Books)(Brief Article)
July 1, 2004... From Plague: The Mysterious Past and Terrifying * Tobacco was thought to possess protective powers against bubonic plague. Seventeenth-century schoolboys at Eton were forced to smoke, and those who disobeyed were flogged. * Plague was...

Big important book of the month.(Books)(The Lemon Table by Julian Barnes)(Brief Article)
July 1, 2004... A FRENCH LITERARY SYPHILITIC. One messy little love triangle. A doctor's fixation with Flaubert. This is just a brief entry into the multivalent mind of Julian Barnes. In 14 books of stunning range, the brilliant Englishman has become one of...

3 for your shelf.(Books)(Brief Article)(Bibliography)
July 1, 2004... SHORT-STORY WRITER AN D NATIONAL BOOK AWARD NOMINEE Dan Chaon's first novel You Remind Me of Me (Ballantine Books, $25), is a labyrinthine study of the events that bring together two long-lost half brothers.... The delusional narrator of...

Five records to buy instead of Wilco's: while others debate the brilliance of Americana's it band, spend your time--and money--more wisely on one of these five CDs.
July 1, 2004... YOU'RE GOING TO BE hearing a lot about Wilco this month, what with all the critical hullabaloo surrounding its much-anticipated new album, A Ghost Is Born. But you won't find much fawning here. Maybe it's just that I prefer the days when Huey...

The resident rock star: monthly musings from our cultural advisor.
July 1, 2004... PEOPLE ARE CONSUMING music now more than ever. Some are even paying for it. Others have very logically decided to stretch their dollar by spending it on the things they can't copy, like underwear. This has obviously sparked much recent debate...

The indefensible position: men should be banned from the delivery room.(The Opposite Sex)
July 1, 2004... NOWADAYS, if a man isn't there to witness the grunts and groans and contorted facial expressions of his wife's delivery, he's a bastard. He's Ike Turner. He probably should be chemically castrated and wear an electronic anklet. How the hell did...

Brutally honest personals.(The Opposite Sex)
July 1, 2004... >> I'm a 34-year-old university librarian with straight dark hair and dark-brown eyes. My best physical, comparison is Dan Aykroyd on a bad-hair day. I don't drink, I don't smoke, and I'm not very good at parties; the larger the gathering, the...

Sex device of the month: the Orgasmatron.(The Opposite Sex)(Stuart Meloy, anesthesiologist, talk about his patent called Orgasmatron)(Interview)
July 1, 2004... Stuart Meloy claims he has no trouble getting women to climax. The tried-and-true lick-the-alphabet trick? Nope. The Winston-Salem, North Carolina. anesthesiologist implants a pacemakerlike device he patented called an Orgasmatron that tickles...

The rules.(The Opposite Sex)
July 1, 2004... RULE NO. 421: The wackier a doctor's neckties, the less prestigious medical. RULE NO. 542: The presence of a cowbell in a song increases its likability by a minimum of 35 percent RULE NO. 881: Nicknaming your penis with a surname preceded by...

The director's notebooks.(The Digital Man)
July 1, 2004... RECENTLY, I WAS in New York City directing a television pilot for CBS starring the very funny and talented Stanley Tucci. Stanley plays a private investigator, a former cop who got kicked off the force. He's cynical and adorable, a lot like...

What's in your NetFlix queue?(The Digital Man)
July 1, 2004... 1] Carmen Jones: One of my favorite musicals, starring Harry Belafonte. 2] This Sporting Life: One of the most realistic, beautiful, and sad sports movies ever made. 3] Scenes from a Marriage: Saves you from having to ever actually go through...

Theme restaurant of the month: El Vez.(Food & Drink)(Brief Article)
July 1, 2004... IT'S ONE THING to name your new Mexican restaurant after a weird, not particularly convincing Mexican Elvis impersonator who looks a bit like Prince, but is nothing sacred to restaurateur Stephen Starr? The cad has slapped an image of Charo's...

Our very own book.(Food & Drink)(Brief Article)
July 1, 2004... IN ESQUIREEATS (Hearst Books), a brand-new kitchen manual, for men by Esquire's own Francine Maroukian, you'll learn how to crack peppercorns, build a fish taco buy the best bacon, flash-fry home fries, oven-fire a porterhouse, stow-cook lamb...

Annals of drinkitecture: the Gehry cocktail.(Food & Drink)
July 1, 2004... WHEN THE FOLKS here at the Esquire Institute for Advanced Research in Mixology heard that Wyborowa had hired Frank Gehry to design the bottle for its new "single estate" rye vodka, we had a good chuckle. After all, you don't drink the bottle....

White-collar prison, brain replacement & loafers: Esquire's Answer Fella believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don't ask questions, fearing they'll look stupid. So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn't know the answer, he'll find out who does, or who has a guess that sounds right.(Answer Fella)(Letter to the Editor)
July 1, 2004... Are loafers lame? I'm 29, a grad student heading into the field of librarianship. (I know you're thinking, Librarian = not cool. But think museums, scholars, etcetera.) I recently bought my first blazer, and it's a classic blue Ralph Lauren....

The navy suit: four different ways.(The Esquire Guide)
July 1, 2004... This fall, Esquire's take on style is about going the extra 10 percent, making sheer quality the bedrock of your wardrobe and setting yourself apart. For bedrock, you won't find anything more versatile, more worth the investment, than a great...

Real genius: an introduction to the highly advance theory of Advancement, an entirely new way to appreciate Sting, Val Kilmer, C-Murder, and other profound artists.(Chuck Klosterman's America)
July 1, 2004... ONCE IN A WHILE, everything about the world changes at once. This is one of those times. Consider everything you think you know about music. Consider all that you believe to be "good" and all that you believe to be "bad." Consider the...

The most advanced actor in the universe.(Brief Article)
July 1, 2004... >> Whenever I'm asked who my favorite actor is, I inevitably pick somebody who doesn't technically exist anymore. I find myself saying things like "Al Pacino in 1972" or "Paul Newman, back when he played convicts and drunken cowboys." This, of...

Ten things you don't know about women.
July 1, 2004... 1. When we say that we know something is going on, you'd better fess up. We've got a nose for the truth. 2. Bad shoes are a turnoff. Holding on to your "fancy" old cowboy boots will likely be the first step toward the end of a...

Rahm Emanuel: a rising star of the House is a former Clinton wunderkind bent on shaking his flamethrower reputation. Is his next step the Kerry administration?(Man of the Month)
July 1, 2004... SOMETHING'S WRONG INSIDE THE JEWEL grocery store in Chicago, the one over by Portage Park. A U.S. congressman with a hard-ass history has set up a card table and is passing out literature and shaking hands and talking about making ends meet....

How to beat Bush.(Brief Article)
July 1, 2004... >> With a knack for fundraising and experience as President Clinton's political director, Rahm Emanuel knows a thing or two about getting elected to the White House. So after John Kerry emerged as the Democrats' de facto nominee, we asked...

My wife is silent in bed. I hate it. What can I do about it? And what's wrong with her?(Sex)
July 1, 2004... I'm sorry, the agency should've warned you that some of them don't speak English. But whatever the case may be, please understand that women are often too embarrassed to act blatantly sexual. Your wife no doubt grew up hearing the old proverb...

Slinging weight: all your questions answered about kettlebells, an old training regimen that is becoming new again.(Getting Better)
July 1, 2004... * WHAT THE HELL ARE KETTLEBELLS? They're made of cast iron, and they originated in czarist Russia, legend has it, as a means of measuring dry goods. The small ones weigh four kilograms (nine pounds), and they range up to forty kilos. Over time,...

Drug of the month: NADH.(Getting Better)(Brief Article)
July 1, 2004... ITS NAME SOUNDS like something a rocket scientist might say if he were speaking in tongues: Nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide hydrogen. Luckily, on the shelf it goes by an easy-to-remember acronym, NADH. Fans claim it alleviates fatigue, fights...

On charity.(A 30-Second Sermon)(Brief Article)(Interview)
July 1, 2004... PEOPLE OFTEN ASK me how I'd like to be remembered. My answer might surprise you. It goes back to the early eighties, after I'd retired from boxing and was running a gym. I really didn't have a tot of money back then. And all these accountants...

Alone.
July 1, 2004... Faced with death, with peril, with the end. we are alone. Survival is all entirely solitary business, whether we are 240 miles up in space or 230 feet below the surface of the ocean or adrift and abandoned atop the life-giving Gulf Stream or,...

Sub.
July 1, 2004... Thirteen years ago, off the coast of New Jersey, a diver found a sunken World War II U-boat 230 feet down, where no wreck was known to be. Other divers, either very brave or very stupid, began to seek the secret of her identity. But this wreck...

Home: in February 2003, after the explosion of the shuttle Columbia, two American astronauts aboard the International Space Station suddenly found themselves with no ride home. And things got worse from there.
July 1, 2004... THE COFFEE, HE THINKS. THE COFFEE'S A CONCERN. [paragraph] Only one hundred single-serving pouches of instant were allotted for him on Expedition Six, stowed in the galley in a metal drawer with a black net stretched over its mouth to make sure...

Classic survival: excerpts from some of the greatest life-or-death tales ever told.(Excerpt)
July 1, 2004... DUST was coming into my system through my mouth as well as my nostrils, and I was choking, wheezing, and gasping for air. My eyes were filled with dirt and they hurt painfully; but when every little while I found myself completely blind, with...

Lance: seven years ago, he was a dead man. Today, he prepares to win his sixth consecutive Tour de France, something no man has done. If he pulls this off, he will have staked his claim as the greatest athlete of all time. Here, an unprecedented view of Lance Armstrong as he prepares for the impossible.(Cover Story)
July 1, 2004... The Rider These are the legs that have won the Tour de France five times. I took this picture just as Armstrong stepped off the bike after a five-hour ride in the Hollywood Hills, a ride with plenty of climbs. "You'll see the pain," he had...

The five-minute guide to ... surviving everything: 25 ways to bite it, and how to avoid 'em.
July 1, 2004... Quicksand Think of quicksand as a Jell-O-filled swimming pool. Assume a spread-eagle position, which will disperse your body weight and keep you from sinking. Then use a swimming motion to return to solid ground. A plane crash If...

Adrift: one man. One modest raft. One big freakin' ocean. So bring on the waves, the sharks, the tankers--they're nothing compared with the mind-bending solitude.(Excerpt)
July 1, 2004... VERY CAREFUL AND VERY PROFESSIONALLY, that's the way to abandon ship, but even though I have all day, fair weather, a crew to help me, and a ship that doesn't really require abandoning, as soon as we begin to launch the raft, things rapid...

Ten tough bastards.(Explorers.)(Interview)
July 1, 2004... Whether they're hanging from a Himalayan cliff, battling Leeches in the Amazon, or trudging across the Gobi Desert, these twenty-first-century explorers dig deep to expand mankind's limits. To celebrate their heroic spirit, Esquire gave them...