Esquire articles from January 2008

Esquire archives from January 2008

The sound and the fury.(This Way In)(Editorial)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... "I must agree that Charlize Theron is not only the Sexiest Woman Alive, but one of the most naturally beautiful. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] The November issue ranged from the portentous (the chances of war with Iran) to the demystifying...

And the award goes to ...(This Way In)(Letter to the editor)
January 1, 2008... After five months of hints and selectively obscured images, in November we revealed 2007's Sexiest Woman Alive: Charlize Theron. Finally. You finally found her. Congratulations. KEN MARTIN Spring Lake Park, Minn. After...

... Who?(This Way In)(Letter to the editor)
January 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] This just shows how out of touch your magazine is with the real world. I have never heard of Charlize Theron. JEFF NELSON Urbandale, Iowa

We don't see anything childish about people who call themselves Mamba and Lady V.(This Way In)(Letter to the editor)
January 1, 2008... Writer at large Mike Sager spent five days with polarizing Los Angeles Lakers guard Kobe Bryant, learning about his passions, training schedule, bad knees, and somewhat controlling wife, Vanessa ("Scito Hoc Super Omnia," November). Reading...

Esquire: slightly improving your chances with women.(This Way In)
January 1, 2008... I was recently on a flight from Amsterdam to Nairobi, when a gorgeous twenty-something Australian woman that I had been conversing with asked ill had anything to write on. As luck would have it, I had just finished reading the November issue...

America's next war.(This Way In)(Letter to the editor)
January 1, 2008... The November issue also included an investigative piece by writer at large John H. Richardson (Briefing). Richardson shared the stories of Flynt Leverett and Hillary Mann, former Middle East policy experts for the Bush administration who claim...

David Charles's next car.(This Way In)(Letter to the editor)
January 1, 2008... For all sorts of reasons, I have decided not to get a motorcycle and to get a second car instead, just for fun. I have narrowed it down to either a new Mini Cooper S or a 1986 Porsche 911. What would you do? DAVID CHARLES Columbia, S....

Luckily, there's enough to go around.(This Way In)(Letter to the editor)
January 1, 2008... In a November article, writer at large Scott Raab revealed a nearly surefire way to a woman's heart: the poetry of William Butler Yeats (Man at His Best). Damn you, Raab. For more than forty years, Yeats's "The Host of the Air" has been my...

The best-groomed man in Pittsburgh.(This Way In)
January 1, 2008... A FEW MONTHS ago we gave you the chance to win the more than $500 worth of products highlighted in the 2007 Grooming Awards (October). All you had to do was tell us about a grooming product that changed your life, and do it with more enthusiasm...

David Granger.(What I've Learned)
January 1, 2008... Editor in chief, 51, New York City [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] > The dumber the man, the louder he talks. > If you drink good tequila and only good tequila, and are disciplined enough not to think, Why, a glass of red wine would taste...

This month's shameless inclusion of praise.(This Way In)(Letter to the editor)
January 1, 2008... In October, we released the second edition of our second magazine: The Big Black Book 2007. It's a (for now) annual style manual meant to help you lead the extraordinary fife you deserve. You can get it at blackbook.esquire.com. Just when...

Elsewhere in the bin.(This Way In)(Letter to the editor)
January 1, 2008... The Angry German is the best part of your magazine. As an expatriate (albeit Austrian) in the U. S. myself, I couldn't agree with him more. Can't wait to hear what he has to say about Americans' excessive use of personal checks. ANJA SIMMS...

Women our reader love.(This Way In)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... Including the girl from the Guiding Light, that woman on CNN, and that woman who used to be on CNN Lindsey McKeon is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Shea has a sweetness and gentelity that always comes across. [ILLUSTRATION...

Julie Newmar.(What I've Learned)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] When the actress who played the original Catwoman in the 1960s TV series Batman offered to write her own What I've Learned, we were thrilled to oblige her. She was even kind enough to tell us which passages to bold....

The vocabulary: terms and ideas you will encounter in the pages that follow. Great for conversation.(Man at His Best)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... * SNIFTER n: A bowl-shaped glass for liquor (cognac, for instance), often swirled in a circular fashion to both aerate the liquid and concentrate the romance, even though liquor shouldn't be drunk from a snifter at all. (SEE PAGE 29.) ...

The leisure meter: how to allocate your free time this month.(Man at His Best: THE CULTURE)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... DECLARING Nobel-prize winner J.M. Coetzee's experimentally disjointed novel, Diary of a Bad Year, an important piece of fiction even though you found it a bit distracting, because, hey, who's got the Nobel prize, him or you? 10 minutes ...

One fine ham: acting is fine. But Daniel Day-Lewis proves that overacting can be a lot more fun.(Film)(There Will Be Blood)(Movie review)
January 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] For roughly the first 15 minutes of Paul Thomas Anderson's magnificent oil-baron epic There Will Be Blood, Daniel Day-Lewis doesn't speak a single intelligible word. There's a fair bit of grunting, hissing, and...

Lovingly prepared coffee.(The Harangue)(Short story)
January 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Quality is crucial. Let's agree on that right now. That thin stuff they let simmer for hours at the convenience store? Undrinkable. On that front, my friend, we couldn't be more simpatico. See, we have so much in...

A playlist of hope, the New Year, and Pete Doherty: our resolutions' soundtrack.(Music)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... [check] Help the poor and needy. Better idea: Ask the Lord to do it. "Lord, Help the Poor and Needy," Cat Power, Jukebox A compassionate hymn that suggests again that New York hasn't frayed Chan Marshall's Southern roots. If only more...

Advent of the mustache.(Facial hair)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... ALTHOUGH SOCIETY had been flirting with the return of the mustache for years, we'd remained unconvinced. It had become a trifle, a mockable prop--even to those sporting it. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] But sometimes the truth comes at you...

The great escape: William Vollmann, come home!(Books)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATIONS OMITTED] If the macho school of American literature teaches us anything, it's that it's good to get gone. You don't need to go far, but go you must. William Vollmann knows this. He is hip to the seductions of the split. In...

What the hell is wrong with people?! An occasional Esquire investigation.(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] FLAW: People believe in totally ludicrous conspiracy theories. EXPLANATION by Robert A. Goldberg, author of Enemies Within: The Culture of Conspiracy in Modern America If you ever read any conspiracy theories,...

Funny * joke from a beautiful woman.(Man at His Best 1)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... ONE NIGHT, on a camping trip, Sherlock Holmes wakes up Watson and says, "Look at the stars. What do you deduce?" Watson thinks for a minute and says, "Well, I see millions of stars, many of which resemble our sun, which most likely have their...

Cognac.(DRINKING)
January 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Here's the problem with cognac: For $40, you can get as good a bourbon as you would ever want to drink. Shell out $80 and you're in the happy realm of 18-year-old single-malt Scotches. But $100 is where true sipping...

Your date, though curious, doesn't want to sip cognac neat.(JANUARY DILEMMA NO. 1)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... Consultant: David Wondrich, Esquire drinks guy (1) Fill a cocktail shaker with ice and add 2 1/4 oz cognac and 3/4 oz imported white creme de menthe. (Use a decent cognac, like those above, or the very expensive Remy Martin Louis XIII,...

Bakes polenta with sausage.(RECIPES FOR MEN)(Recipe)
January 1, 2008... Luke Palladino, the chef of Ombra and Specchio at the Borgata Hotel in Atlantic City, calls this "pasticciata," which means "a big mess" in Italian and usually refers to dishes in which the ingredients are mixed together and baked in a...

Sex.(Man at His Best 2)
January 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Every time I'm about to have sex with my girlfriend, I sneeze once or twice. Is this some sort of a biological response or what? I had something like that once, but instead of sneezing, I'd assassinate enemies of...

You're not sure whether ice is safe to walk on.(JANUARY DILEMMA NO. 2)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... Consultant: Tim Jones, cofounder of easternslopes.com (1) If there are already four or five people gathered on the ice in one place, then you can be pretty sure you'll be okay. Unless they're all named Jesus. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] ...

Answer Fella: swollen eyes, laughing fits & big feet.(Man at His Best 2)
January 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] ESQUIRE'S ANSWER FELLA believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don't ask questions, fearing they'll look stupid. So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn't know the answer, he'll find out...

A few words on layering.(Man at His Best: STYLE 3)(Buyers guide)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... FOR ALL THE TALK about imminent planetary doom via unprecedented warming trends, it's probably pretty freakin' cold where you live right now. Not necessarily shut-in cold, but cold enough that an overcoat isn't really cutting it. Real warmth,...

The abominable snowmen: keeping warm need not entail looking ridiculous. No one told these guys.(Man at His Best: STYLE 3)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... Chase, C. Spies Like Us Quaid, R. Christmas Vacation Candy, J. Planes, Trains and Automobiles Stormare, P. Fargo Allen, W. Love and Death Daniels, J. Dumb and Dumber [ILLUSTRATIONS...

A few more words on layering: how, when, and where you should double or triple up.(Man at His Best 3)(Buyers guide)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... WORK We're going to guess your workplace is heated. We're also going to guess you're not a high school wrestler trying to cut weight. If we've guessed correctly, lay off the layers during the workweek to minimize sweating. Keep it simple with a...

How layers work: warmth from the inside out.(Man at His Best 3)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... (A) Silk, polypropylene, or another nonabsorbent material draws moisture away from the skin. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] (B) Wool, fleece, or another insulating material traps warm air between layers and transfers moisture from one layer to...

A celebration of utter utility: boiled-wool mittens.(Man at His Best 3)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... YOU PROBABLY traded in your mittens for gloves when you turned ten and never looked back. Good for you. But as any polar explorer with ten fingers can tell you, boiled-wool mittens are among the simplest and most effective ways of shielding...

Six degrees of snow boots: footwear for all your cold-weather needs.(Man at His Best 3)(Buyers guide)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... 1) ROCKPORT CONCRETE CANYON For a few puddles of sleet or slush, you don't need Nanook of the North seal-kickers. Lightweight, waterproof boots like these Rockports work just as well. Leather boots ($145) by Rockport. [ILLUSTRATION...

The detail: the L. L. Bean sole: where the action happens.(Man at His Best 3)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... THE SOLE OF the Maine hunting shoe is the least visible but most valuable part of the whole operation. It has two things going for it: It's made from thermoplastic rubber, a compound that's soft and sticky and lets you connect with the ground...

Is your see it, is it real? It seems like a trivial question. But the answer gets at the very nature of knowledge. Sort of.(Chuck Klosterman's AMERICA)
January 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] WHENEVER I WRITE this column, I typically open with some kind of semifunny, semirelated anecdote that theoretically relates to whatever the real thesis is intended to be. This is a common technique, used by lots of...

The Gram Parsons project.(Chuck Klosterman's AMERICA)(Sound recording review)(Brief article)
January 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] IT'S NOT UNCOMMON for pop historians to harbor strong feelings about the life of Gram Parsons. There are those who see him chiefly as a genius who introduced Keith Richards to country music, eventually prompting the...

11 Rooms with a view: when a writer trades his cramped one-bedroom for our tricked-out penthouse on Central Park, he's on top of the world. Too bad it's only for the weekend.(Esquire NORTH)
January 1, 2008... FOR THE FIFTH YEAR in a row, Esquire has taken over an incredible home--this one an $8.5 million triplex penthouse apartment overlooking Central Park in New York City--and worked with the world's top designers and luxury brands to transform it...

What I've learned: ten years of wisdom.
January 1, 2008... No introduction to what you're about to read could possibly add anything to the experience of reading it. Every month for the last ten years, Esquire has collected the condensed life lessons, knowledge, and weird insights of people who have...

The continuing adventures of Tim & Johnny: Burton and Depp are known as two of the strangest, quietest geniuses ever to work in movies. Turns out they're not that strange. Or quiet.(What I've Learned: 10TH ANNIVERSARY)(Interview)
January 1, 2008... Johnny Depp Actor, 44, Los Angeles Interviewed on October 25, 2007 * One time a guy told me that he brought his wife to see Pirates of the Caribbean. She had lost her motor skills. I forget what you call it. It's not autism. Jesus, they...

The fighters.(What I've Learned: 10TH ANNIVERSARY)(Interview)
January 1, 2008... Michael J. Fox Actor, 46, New York City Interviewed by Scott Raa, October 5, 2007/Photographs by Steve Pyke * Right now, I'm feeling pretty good. It's just one little thing in my brain. * If I let it affect everything, it's gonna own...

The comedians.(What I've Learned: 10TH ANNIVERSARY)(Interview)
January 1, 2008... Mel Brooks Producer, 81, Los Angeles Interviewed by Cal Fussman, October 18, 2007 * The iron test is: Do you laugh? If you laugh, you know they're gonna laugh. * I had a lot of uncles who thought they were funny. But you know, the...

The renegades.(What I've Learned: 10TH ANNIVERSARY)(Interview)
January 1, 2008... Steve Wynn Hotelier, 65, Las Vegas Interviewed by Cal Fussman, august 31, 2007 / Photograph by Asger Carlsen * What are you really doing? At the core? My answer is--and this is what I've learned--you're basically getting people to trust...

The talent.(What I've Learned: 10TH ANNIVERSARY)
January 1, 2008... Eric Clapton Guitar hero, 62, Los Angeles Interviewed by Cal Fussman, October 9, 2007 [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] > One of the most beneficial things I've ever learned is how to keep my mouth shut. > Up until I became a father, it was...

What I've learned: the first.
January 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Ten years ago, Esquire asked Rod Steiger for a few life lessons. He surprised writer Mike Sager by showing up to the interview with extensive, thoughtful notes. Upon submitting the story, Sager wrote to his editor:...

Bob Dylan: look around you. From movie screens and radio waves to bestseller lists and Billboard charts, Dylan's music and mythology are showing up just about everywhere these days. Same goes for his signature shades and somber sense of style, seen here (and on streets across America) and accompanied by a few words to the wise from the man himself.(STYLE: WHAT I'VE LEARNED)(Buyers guide)
January 1, 2008... MUSICIAN, 66, EVERYWHERE "You don't necessarily have to write to be a poet. Some people work in gas stations and they're poets. I don't call myself a poet, because I don't like the word. I'm a trapeze artist." (1963) [ILLUSTRATION...

John McCain's last war: as it counts down the days to New Hampshire, his campaign is humbler. But the angry candidate is not.(One of Us, Part 2)
January 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] In August 2006, we published the first installment of Chris Jones's intimate portrait of John McCain's long fight for the 2008 Republican presidential nomination. With just weeks before voters go to the polls, Jones...

This way out.
January 1, 2008... Fig. 3: Percentage of People Fooled as Function of Percentage of Time [FIGURE 3 OMITTED]