Esquire articles from August 2008

Esquire archives from August 2008

Only two more features and he'll be tied with McCain.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
August 1, 2008... In the June issue, contributing editor Charles P Pierce examined Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama through a skeptical lens ("The Cynic and Senator Obama'), questioning the value of the senator's promise to restore America without...

The man behind the memo.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
August 1, 2008... Also in June, writer at large John H. Richardson profiled John Yoo, author of the controversial 2001 memo providing the U.S. with a new legal definition of torture ("Is This Man a Monster?"). I have a tremendous amount of respect for the...

What you wrote about.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Barack Obama John Yoo Your favorite bars Dr. Oz's medicine cabinet The anger of Gore Vidal The greatness of us

We always thought old people were allowed to be grumpy.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
August 1, 2008... Prolific and strongly opinionated eighty-two-year-old writer Gore Vidal shared his views on the stupidity of patriotism, the misplaced pride of John McCain, and how there's no one left worth writing for (What I've Learned, June). It seems...

Ten things Luke Simons doesn't know about women.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... I already knew Kim Cattrall's Ten Things You Don't Know About Women (June). Please have her offer another ten. LUKE SIMONS Fayetteville, Ark. Cattrall was too busy to offer an addendum. Lucky for you, our intern Nicole Tourtelot...

Something to do at Esquire.com.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] READ OUR BLOGS. In case this Internet thing actually catches on, we've decided to hedge our bets. So like Markos Moulitsas and every eleven-year-old with a MacBook, we've started blogging. Here's what we have so far:...

Men and murder.(EDITOR'S LETTER)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... A FEW EDITOR'S LETTERS AGO, on the first anniversary of the April 2007 Virginia Tech shooting, I asked us all to take a moment to recall that loss. Thirty-two lives ended for no reason at all. I went on to lament the inability., or...

One woman we pleased and one we offended.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
August 1, 2008... The June issue included our third collection of the nation's greatest bars ("Esquire's Best Bars in America 2008"). Thanks for your endorsement of drinking alone. I'd like to offer a brief addendum: If you read, stick to literature, not the...

And two guys we swear we've never met before.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
August 1, 2008... I always think the next issue of Esquire can't possibly eclipse the previous. And each month I am forced to reconsider. Thank you for publishing what is perhaps the most important, well-written, and meaningful magazine in the country. Consider...

Back story.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] WHEN GRAD student Steve Kazmierczak killed five students and himself at Northern Illinois University this past February, it immediately struck writer David Vann, who's been pondering the causes of suicide ever since...

Elsewhere in the bin.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
August 1, 2008... "Night Stand" by Daniel Woodrell (June) is the best fiction I've read in a periodical in a long time. At once grotesque, humane, and haunting, it's going to take at least another read to digest. Please, more fiction like this: with balls. (4)...

The overadorned hand.(This Way In: THE SOUND & THE FURY)(Letter to the editor)
August 1, 2008... I need your advice regarding men's jewelry It seems like most items are fine on their own, but when mixed with others, discretion is key Right now I wear a watch, a bracelet, and a wedding band. But I really want a pinkie ring. Are two rings...

Celebrating 75 years, Part III.(This Way In: THE MAKING OF THE COVER)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] The third iconic cover we chose to re-create for our seventy-fifth anniversary was itself a re-creation. Based on Francesco Botticini's fifteenth-century painting of the Christian martyr Saint Sebastian, the April...

A conversation with Stephen Colbert.(Interview)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... His photo shoot took more than nine hours and involved twenty people, some women's makeup, and one container of Jiffy Pop. We asked him all about it over e-mail. ESQUIRE: Were you familiar with the Ali cover (2) before this? STEPHEN...

The vocabulary.(Man at His Best)
August 1, 2008... (Terms and ideas you will encounter in the pages that follow. Great for conversation.) * EXTRARACIAL adj: Marked by an innate coolness that mutes an expected discussion of race. As exemplified by Barack Obama, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Lando...

The only guy who could pull it off: Robert Downey Jr.'s minstrel show in Tropic Thunder.(Film)(Movie review)
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Robert Downey Jr.'s chocolate complexion, kinky short hair, and "hot damn!" cadence in the Vietnam satire Tropic Thunder is blood kin to the shoe-polish-stained cheeks, Brillopad pompadours, and declarative "yessum,...

Unintended consequences.(Man at His Best: The Culture)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... How a bored Indian king got Pierce Brosnan to sing and dance. According to legend, in sixth-century India, King Shihram commands that a game be invented to alleviate his boredom. So a Brahman named Sissa creates chaturanga. [down...

The hall of cultural significance: the six most intriguing performances this month.(Man at His Best: The Culture)(Movie review)(Television program review)
August 1, 2008... ACHIEVEMENT IN ADOLESCENCE [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] The high school subjects of the documentary American Teen. The scariest thing about Hollywood's high school stereotypes is that the classifications are spot-on. American Teen follows...

The complaint: 3-D.(Man at His Best: The Culture)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... STUDIOS PERSIST IN resuscitating this technique, decade after decade, as if all they need to do to dazzle us is figure out a way to make the glasses look less stupid. But there's a good reason why 3-D hasn't caught on, and it has something to...

The crash course: in September, Philip Roth will publish Indignation, his latest novel about Ohio, Newark, sex, war, and guilt. Always guilt. You have a month to prepare.(Books)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... Watch The Jewish Americans. David Grubin's documentary traces American Judaism from New Amsterdam to New York. Helpful for the uninitiated. Review Newark: A History. Kevin Mumford's book pins two new adjectives on Roth's favorite city:...

The devils you care for.(Man at His Best: The Culture)(A Better Angel)(Brief article)(Book review)
August 1, 2008... * The children in Chris Adrian's A Better Angel (FSG, $22) are surrounded by flickering angels, inhabited by legions of ghosts, overtaken by viruses, handicaps, compulsions. Sometimes they speak to the devil. Sometimes he speaks through them....

Archetype of the month: the extremely debauched intellectual.(Books)(Something to Tell You)(Brief article)(Book review)
August 1, 2008... WHAT'S ALWAYS BEEN best about British novelist Hanif Kureishi's work is that he's less interested in making his characters good and more concerned with making them interesting. The narrator of his latest, Something to Tell You (Scribner,...

Holding very steady.(Music)(Stay Positive)(Sound recording review)
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] A couple months ago I had drinks with Tad Kubler, the lead guitarist for the Hold Steady. Kubler told me that in addition to his side gig as a photographer (tadkubler.com), he sometimes does jury-selection...

The angry German: multiculturalism.(Man at His Best)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] (This article is best read aloud in a German accent.) I PLAY SOCCER with a bunch of people, a friendly pickup game. One thing about this crew is that it is a very mixed group of all countries of this world. We...

Soundtrack to this issue.(Cover: This Way Out)(Sound recording review)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... Go back to the cover, begin music, start flipping. This story will cost you $5.94 "One Finger Symphony," Stereolab A taut sixties-style loop and French vocals. Play it at your next party. (This Way In) "Hang On," Dr. Dog ...

Funny joke from a beautiful woman.(Man at His Best)('Journey to the Center of the Earth's' Anita Briem)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... TWO SNOWMEN are standing in a field. One says to the other, "Funny, I smell carrots, too." [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] ABOUT THE JOKESTER: Iceland. Big island up north, not as cold as it sounds. Land of Vikings, glaciers, Bjork, and Anita...

Are things getting a little violent? A thousand words about our culture.(Man at His Best)
August 1, 2008... How big is Cormac McCarthy right now? Never mind Oprah and the Pulitzer and the Oscars--he's so big that a Knoxville preservation society is trying to save his childhood home from neglect. That's the ultimate achievement for a writer--having...

The outlaw.(DRINK)(absinthe)(Buyers guide)
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Imagine if suddenly you could walk into your local Walgreens, plunk down a couple of twenties, and walk out with a gram of pink Peruvian flake. That, or something very much like it, happened last year when two brands...

Minor catastrophe no. 24: you don't know from absinthe.(Man at His Best: The Instruction)(Recipe)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... Consultant: Esquire's drinks correspondent David Wondrich (1) Pour 1 to 1 1/2 oz absinthe into a glass. Place absinthe spoon over the glass. Place sugar cube on the spoon. Slowly trickle 4 to 6 oz water through sugar cube into glass. ...

The new in New Orleans.(FOOD)(Directory)
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Brennan's is back. So is Arnaud's and Galatoire's. You can still get the signature oysters Rockefeller at Antoine's. There's the jazz brunch at Commander's Palace, and the beignets and chicory coffee are steaming hot...

And a few well-soaked words about the old.(DRINK)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... GOING BY A COUPLE of hours spent sipping Sazeracs at Tujague's, Napoleon House, Arnaud's, or any one of the other great old French Quarter oases-about as pleasant a thing as any clothed adult can do-you'd never know there was a Katrina. But...

Mad dash.(The Digital Man)
August 1, 2008... Not GPS's. Didn't we just go through this?" "Only seems that way, Sweetie. And we never tested them in Los Angeles." Yes, the car felt a little crowded with five electronic voices telling us which way to go (they often disagreed), but I...

Minor catastrophe no. 826: you're seasick.(Man at His Best: The Instruction)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... Consultant: Jay Buckey, Dartmouth Medical School professor and former astronaut [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] {1} Eat some ginger. It will help with nausea. But if you have to vomit, don't fight it. You'll feel better immediately. ...

Snails, snowfall fly eyes & one dumb way to die: Esquire's answer fella believes that there are no stupid questions, just stupid people who don't ask questions, fearing they'll look stupid. So ask Answer Fella anything. If he doesn't know the answer, he'll find out who does or who has a guess that sounds right.(Answer Fella)
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Is there a difference between regular snails and the snails eaten In France as escargot, or could I head out to the garden and toss the pesky critters Into my frying pan? Feh. That said-and far be it from AF to...

Why am I attracted to the wrong women?(Sex)
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] You're asking the wrong woman, but I suspect it's because the right women are too caught up in the demands of their environmental blogs or polygamous sects, or whatever it is they do, to pay you much attention. I'm...

Minor catastrophe no. 318: it's too damn hot.(Man at His Best)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... Consultant: Brian Calvert, journalist, Cambodia [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] {1} Drink water to keep hydrated. Wear loose clothes that let the breeze evaporate sweat. Also, no underwear. [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] {2) Get up...

Add a little color.(THE SUGGESTION)(Buyers guide)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... YOU COULD GET AWAY with wearing a white shirt every day, same as you could get away with only eating sandwiches or listening to the White Stripes for the rest of your life. You'd hate Meg's drumming after a while, but you could live with it. Or...

The spring in your step: three rich alternatives to your plain black oxfords.(THE OFFICE COLOR GUIDE)(Buyers guide)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... With a mid-blue solid: With a blue that's slightly lighter than navy, you can go a little bit lighter with the shade of your shoes. Here, the lighter tan has a deep patina in the seams that gives it gravitas. Suit ($495) by Perry Ellis;...

And what to do about black: because no one should look like an undertaker. Except an undertaker.(THE OFFICE COLOR GUIDE)(Buyers guide)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] With a black micropattern: Even a seemingly monochromatic pattern can be helped with a little color. The purple in the tie's dots matches the fine trim of the shirt's stripes and even a hairline shade in the jacket....

The 75 things every man should do.
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] There is no checklist. Nothing on this list is that automatic. Every element here is a matter of the choices you make, the chances you take, the courage you are willing to show. You can trick yourself into thinking...

10 Things you don't know about women.(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] 1. Wedding rings need to be sparkly to remind us not to have sex with other people. 2. Completely shaving your genitals does not make them look bigger. It just makes you look gayer. 3. And if you do shave it...

Why you're reading this: retired generals, food bloggers, music critics, John McCain, you-all of these people have opinions, and most of them are equally valid. Or not.(chuck klosterman's america)
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] I am supposed to have a lot of opinion about things I've barely even thought about before. This is always an enjoyable experience, but I never understand why they are interested in my response. I certainly don't...

German rapper of the month.(chuck klosterman's america)(Paul Wurdig)(Brief article)
August 1, 2008... Sido is a rapier from Berlin. His real name is Paul Wurdig. He sometimes wears a metal mask (much like Madvillain), and his rapping style is akin to a slower version of Eminem or a more aggressive version of Coolio. Sido writes about class...

I am a martyr (and so can you!): a guide to white male victimhood.(Cover story)
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] PHOTOGRAPHS BY ART STREIBER Greetings Nation *. America is facing a crisis. Need proof? Well, if this weren't a crisis, I would never have asked you to read an article this long. Personally, when I pick up...

Seventy-five years of storied history-in one easy page. This month: politics: our political conventions maybe predictable and bland, but some of the writing they have inspired here has been groundbreaking.(Page 75)
August 1, 2008... TERRY SOUTHERN: "GROOVING IN CHI," NOV. 1968 [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] Esquire sent Terry Southern, William Burroughs, and French writer Jean Genet to Chicago to cover the 1968 Democratic convention, where Eugene McCarthy faced...

What it feels like ...
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATIONS OMITTED] THERE ARE TWO SIDES to every story. Like when a pilot flies a small plane into a house--you've got the pilot, of course, but what about the guy eating tacos inside? And for every man who wins a 135-mile race in the...

The tunnel: every man yearns to be free. None more so than the man in prison. And at Kinross prison in Michigan, Hoffman and Murphy had an idea.
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] The smell changed from stale to sweet. That's when he knew they'd made it. For weeks he'd sucked in musts;, dead air. Now he smelled life, walking home from school after a heavy rain, watching half-drowned worms...

Paula Patton thinks conspiratorial forces may be watching her every move. We can't really blame them.(women we love)(Interview)
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATIONS OMITTED] Not only was Paula Patton arriving for her interview in New York after an all-day photo shoot but her publicist called to say it was running late. This is generally the kiss of death, because as hard as it is to...

Intelligent design.(ESQUIRE STYLE FALL PREVIEW)(Buyers guide)
August 1, 2008... For the recent graduates of the RHODE ISLAND SCHOOL OF DESIGN, innovation in the twenty-first century will be driven as much by design as by technology. Here, eleven standouts from the class of '08 dress for the immediate future in fall's best...

Jenna Jameson: actress, 34, Los Angeles.(What I've Learned)
August 1, 2008... * C'mon downstairs. I just got a new couch. We can break it in. * The first thing that comes out of my mouth is always right. * If I have daughters, I wouldn't want them to go into pornography. That's not really a conflict with who I...

Portrait of the school shooter as a young man: we were told that Steven Kazmierczak, who killed five students and then himself at Northern Illinois University in February was a sweet unassuming, overachieving grad student who inexplicably snapped. He was not.(Chronology)
August 1, 2008... [ILLUSTRATION OMITTED] By the end, there is no night or day. No sleep. Just time, waiting. He sits on the end of his bed in a broken-down Travelodge. Smokes a Newport. Stale smell of old cigarettes, of all the lives that have passed...