Esquire articles from August 2006

Esquire archives from August 2006

Tom Hanks is normal!(Letter to the editor)
August 1, 2006... Tom Hanks really is "the most normal guy in Hollywood." My bride and I were checking into the Bel-Air Hotel on our wedding night when into the lobby sauntered another newlywed couple, Hanks and Rita Wilson. As we were leaving for our suite, Tom...

But not that normal.(Letter to the editor)
August 1, 2006... Accompanying the article was a series of images of Honks engaged in typical suburban-guy activities, including cutting the grass. The images tested at least one reader's ability to suspend disbelief. That mower is totally inadequate for a lawn...

An indescribable horror.(Letter to the editor)
August 1, 2006... The June issue featured writer C.J. Chivers's account of the 2004 siege of a small-town school in Beslan, Russia, by Chechen rebels ("The School"). Among the hostages was Larisa Kudziyeva, who was severely wounded while protecting her children...

Best bars: reader edition (west).(This Way In: THE SOUND AND THE FURY)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... Eighty-four watering holes in our Best Bars in America story, and we still missed some. Here, the best of the overlooked, as recommended by our readers. * Salty Dawg in Homer, Alaska: "A wood-chip floor and wonderful views." * The...

Incensed "reader" of the month.(Letter to the editor)
August 1, 2006... "Esquire's Best Bars in America" has most likely ruined every bar mentioned for the dedicated regulars at these places by recommending them to your readership. I do not read your magazine. I'm not the "sort of man who reads" Esquire, nor are...

The perils of conscience.(Ian Fishback reports on abuse of prisoners)
August 1, 2006... THERE WAS always a delicious synchronicity in John McCain's championing of Ian Fishback last fall. Fishback, as you may recall (and as detailed in "Acts of Conscience," page 102), is the Army captain who blew the whistle on acts of torture he...

Esquire wins.(Esquire Magazine Group Inc. wins 2006 National Magazine Awards)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... We're proud to announce that Esquire was the winner of two 2006 National Magazine Awards, the industry's highest honor. The magazine took home the Alexander Calder-designed Ellie statue in both the categories for which it was nominated: General...

Answer Fella.
August 1, 2006... Writer: "Answer Fella Special Event," page 128 ESQ: Who is Answer Fella? AF: Answer Fella is Answer Fella. Judith Martin, AF's mentor and erstwhile lover, is also known as Miss Manners. Randy Cohen, a moralizing pedant whose column...

We're not saying yes, and we're not saying no.(Letter to the editor)
August 1, 2006... It started in June: a six-part glimpse into a day in the life of this year's Sexiest Woman Alive (check out Part Three: A Trip to the Market, on page 84). Although we won't reveal her identity until November, many readers thought they'd divined...

"Nip" doesn't" count.(Letter to the editor)
August 1, 2006... In "The Endorsement: Not Drinking" ("Esquire's Best Bars in America"), writer J.R. Moehringer issued a challenge: Name the ten body parts that have only three letters in under an hour. I submit to you: eye, ear, leg, arm, toe, lip, jaw,...

Best bars: reader edition (central).(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... * Dockside at the Kingfish in Bay City, Michigan: "Live reggae music, scantily clad waitresses, and a great riverside location." * Belvedere in Houston: "Sexiest staff in the South." * "You can't do a piece on the best bars in America...

Best bars: reader edition (east).(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... * XO Bar in Atlanta: "More than eighty-five choices of cognac." * The Pool Hall in Buckhead, Georgia: "PBR tallboys flow like wine." * Bukowski Tavern in Boston: "The white-trash cheese dip complements any beer selection." * The...

Elsewhere in the bin.(Letter to the editor)
August 1, 2006... It seems a waste of time to bother with the Best Dressed Man in America contest when the winner has already been profiled--Negro League first baseman Buck O'Neil (What I've Learned, May). Melanie Minzes Washington, D. C. While...

Funny * joke from a beautiful woman.(Man at His Best)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... As told by KRISTEN BELL This old lady is feeling kind of lonely, so she says, "You know what? I'm going to pick up some guys." She takes off all her clothes, puts a trench coat on, and walks into a bar. She sees three young guys drinking....

The awards: the six most remarkable things in culture this month.
August 1, 2006... 1 Nicest Cans Beers featured in Christopher B. O'Hara's new book, Great American Beer: 50 Brands that Shaped the 20th Century. From left: Olde Frothingslosh, a radio gag from the 1950s turned actual beer; a seasonal "Happy Days" can from...

Head of his class: Ryan Gosling delivers the performance of the year in Half Nelson. (And we know it's only August.).(MAN AT HIS BEST: The Screen)
August 1, 2006... YOU OFTEN HEAR about movies that have supposedly been "saved in the editing," meaning that some enterprising cutter heroically rescued a director's unwatchable dailies with a few deft clicks of the mouse. Much more common, though, are movies...

The rules.
August 1, 2006... RULE NO. 539: A man may own exactly one pair of holiday-themed boxers, RULE NO. 540: That holiday should not be Secretary's Day. RULE NO. 583: The long snapper is the best-named position in football. RULE NO. 800: There are a million...

Q+A: John C. Reilly.(MAN AT HIS BEST: The Screen)(Interview)
August 1, 2006... THE RISK OF CASTING John C. Reilly in supporting roles is that he tends to upstage the leads. Despite this, he remains a popular choice in Hollywood: Boogie Nights, The Hours, Chicago. This month, in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby,...

Q&A: Perry Farrell.(Lollapalooza)(Interview)
August 1, 2006... THE BEST FESTIVAL lineup of the summer? Lollapalooza, hands down. From the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Kanye West, and Wilco to an early look at Jack White's Raconteurs, this three-day music bender from August 4 to 6 in Chicago's Grant Park is worth...

The overzealous declaration.(Sam Roberts best music)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... Sam Roberts is the best live frontman in music. It's almost impossible to see Montreal's Sam Roberts Band live without imagining what it must have been like to witness Springsteen in his '70s glory days. Roberts's new record, Chemical City,...

Two worth your lunch money.(Evil Nine and Johnny Cash works)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... Evil Nine, FobricLive.28. Evil Nine ranks among the few DJ-and-producer teams regular ol' music fans need to know. These innovative Brits specialize in "breakbeat," which is more syncopated and more wildly rhythmic than house or trance,...

The multitaskers.(Sony Ericsson K790 and Sidekick 3 evaluated)
August 1, 2006... I'M ONE OF THE BETTER multitaskers out there, and I'm not very good. Sure, I can say, "Action!" and while Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are acting their hearts out, I can write an e-mail, light a cigar, and check my vibrating phone to see...

Choose your weapon.(MAN AT HIS BEST: The Better Man)
August 1, 2006... MARTIAL ARTS: They're not just for the poorly dubbed anymore. Schools all over the U. S. offer a range of disciplines that will push you well beyond the limits you'll reach climbing stairs to nowhere in a gym. Each has specific physical and...

Quasi-medical beverage of the month: the aloe-vera drink.(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... I DISCOVERED ALOE VERA DRINKS at a golf course in South Korea. The plastic bottle was square, and sea monkeys appeared to be floating in the otherwise clear liquid. Its very foreignness fascinated me, and damned if it wasn't as refreshing and...

Ask Dr. Oz: free advice from a medical professional.(usage of mp3 players)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... How long and loud can I listen to my iPod without damaging my hearing? We don't really know the long-term effects of listening to portable music players, but get used to rarely exposing yourself to more than an hour of noise that's louder...

When I kiss my girlfriend after sex, after she has an orgasm, her mouth tastes different than it did before the orgasm. And not different in a good way. Like, I don't want to even bother. Is this normal?
August 1, 2006... Christ, I hope it's not Postcoital Existential Taste-Bud Malaise Syndrome. Please tell me you're current on your shots. Let's get one thing straight: Roughly 80 percent of what we interpret as taste is really smell, and smell changes along with...

Your problem: my feet are in frightening shape.(pedicure methods)
August 1, 2006... RODNEY'S SOLUTION: The more you do on your feet, the more damage you do to them. So a man whose feet look too pretty obviously isn't using them nearly enough. Still, there's no excuse for having feet that scare your wife, as mine often do. ...

The substitutes.(men tolietries)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... There's really only one guarantee with any vacation: You will forget something. When a trip to the drugstore just isn't reasonable, a man should know how to temporarily plug a hole in his Dopp kit. Here, some of my favorite substitutes, I've...

Pan-fried heaven: there's only one best way to cook shrimp, and this is it.(Fried Shrimp )(Recipe)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... IN ITS OWN WAY, FISH-SHACK COOKING may be harder to pull off than four-star cuisine. There's no way to mask a mediocre meal with dazzling presentation; a dish simply works or it doesn't, and you can tell just by looking at it. With a classic...

Piscosity!(Peru and Chile cultural drink)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... "PISCO IS THE NATIONAL SPIRIT of Peru." "Pisco is the national spirit of Chile." "No, Peru." "No, Chile." "Peru!" "Chile!" The Peruvians and the Chileans have been going on like that for ages. Normally, a struggle over who owns a clear, oddly...

The best Canadian town in America.(Haines, Alaska.)
August 1, 2006... Canadians, who all hate us but are too polite to say, so, have mixed feelings about Haines, Alaska. On the one hand, thousands of them, mostly the ones who live in the nearby Yukon Territory, hajj to Haines several times a year to fish, hike,...

The oil crisis: how doomed are we? According to one top energy expert: very.(Amy Myers Jaffe)(Interview)
August 1, 2006... IN THE OIL WORLD, there are sheiks and barons. CEOs and Bushes. And then there is Amy Myers Jaffe, a straight-talking, nonpartisan oil analyst who counsels all of them. We asked Jaffe, director of the Energy Forum at the James A. Baker III...

Michael Bastian's imperfect elegance.(Stylish Obsession of the Month)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... In his previous incarnation as men's-fashion director at New York's premier men's-wear store, Bergdorf Goodman, fashion designer Michael Bastion was fortunate enough to work with knowledgeable customers and the very best labels. It convinced...

How to wear a blazer, really.(Scott Schuman's ways of wearing blazer)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... THE BEST THING about male style is that, for all the influence of television and advertising, it's the people around us--friends, family, coworkers--who show us how to put clothes together, and how not to. This month, Esquire debuts the work of...

Style rules for summer: seasons change, and so should your wardrobe.(the guide: instruction)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... The jacket It takes a higher plane of tailoring skill to make a jacket that looks as formal as this yet weighs about the same as this magazine. Italian-born designer Domenico Vacca's ultimate summer blazer is constructed out of the same...

The three fabrics you need.(summer clothing)(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... STAYING COOL IN LATE SUMMER is as much about what your clothes are made of as it is about how they look. The best summer fabrics possess loose weaves and irregular surfaces, preventing part of the cloth from touching your body, allowing the...

The "snakes on a plane" problem: the tragedy of the best titled movie in the history of film.(Chuck Klosterman's America)
August 1, 2006... PEOPLE GET CONFUSED BY the term populism, especially when that word is applied to entertainment. People seem to think calling something "populist" means it was purposefully constructed to be stupid, solely to attract the largest possible...

10 things you don't know about women.(Brief article)
August 1, 2006... 1. If you tell us that playing Halo 2 improves the dexterity of your fingers, you'd better be able to prove it. 2. We think Porsches are as overrated and superficial as men who drive SUVs but don't know how to shift them into four-wheel...

The invisible grip: maintaining eye contact feels awkward, even creepy. At first. Then it just feels powerful.(eyes tell everything )
August 1, 2006... WHEN I WAS VERY SMALL, my dad could always tell when I was lying. When I was about six years old, he told me God whispered it to him. Even though the guy never went to church or seemed particularly religious, I had to respect that. He had an in...

The sexiest woman alive: a six-part peek at a day in the life of an icon.(Portia de Rossi)(Interview)
August 1, 2006... Will you find her nuzzling Colin Farrell at the Miami Vice premiere? Or perhaps riding her cherry-red Vespa to a book party in Provincetown? No. It's almost lunchtime, and today you'll find the Sexiest Woman Alive aboard her Schwinn outside a...

A van down by the river: the bad news: you live in your car. The good news: living in your car is sweeter than ever!
August 1, 2006... BOSTON HAS A LOT OF MURDERS. A May 11 story in The Boston Globe contained the phrases "Shootings are up 88 percent over last year," "Seven people killed last week," and--not to unduly frighten the populace or anything--"Officials expect a...

One of us: John McCain may be the last man in America who most Americans listen to but has he run out of time to become president?
August 1, 2006... They have stood--up and turned their backs on John McCain, about thirty graduating students and faculty of Manhattan's New School university, the sort of progressive institution that awards a master of fine arts in lighting design. About two...

Acts of conscience: here, at great personal risk, an elite Army interrogator comes forward to reveal his experience at a secret prison in Iraq. And more like him will follow. The story of Human Rights Watch and the search for the truth about the United States military and torture.
August 1, 2006... It is spring. Garlasco has one hand on the wheel, light glinting off his wraparound mirrored sunglasses. He is talking about his wife and kids as he passes through countryside so brimming with green life that it's strange and almost obscene to...

Maria Bello (a woman we love): the big screen's perfect wife and girlfriend tells you what kind of woman she really is....(Hint: "Monogamy is a big fat lie.")
August 1, 2006... The back door opens and in she flits, cell phone to ear, skipping up the two steps from the yard and into the small but sparkling kitchen of her Craftsman bungalow, tucked away like a gingerbread house inside the secret gardens of Venice,...

What it feels like: you are about to experience the heights and depths of the human condition. From the morbid (chopping a man's head off) to the disgusting (eating two pounds of butter) to the erotically aberrant (having two vaginas), we present our sixth-annual feature of amazing first-person tales. Plus: What It Looks Like (Jeff Gordon's driver's license) and, for the first time, What It Sounds Like.
August 1, 2006... ... To Eject from a Plane By Captain Darren "Bam Bam" Wees, 29, Air Force pilot Ejecting from a plane is the most violent thing I can imagine. People have died from it. Limbs have been ripped off and bent backward. I used to be five...

What it sounds like: in a perfect world, magazines would have audio playback. You're getting onomatopoeia. For the sake of modesty, all attempts to re-create these sounds should be made in private.
August 1, 2006... Tasmanian devil Screaming Sounds like: "Almost human, like someone desperately calling out for help. Sort of a wailing you'd hear through a tunnel." (1) Onomatopoeia: Uuuuaaerahh! Oooerruuuhhh! Lightning hitting you Sounds...

Answer Fella: your offensive questions answered!
August 1, 2006... ANSWER FELLA BELIEVES as firmly as any bleeding-heart do-gooder in the Brotherhood of Man. AF also believes in Celebrating Our Differences. But above all, AF believes that no question is too dangerous or silly to ask and try to answer....

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.(Movie review)
August 1, 2006... No.27 SCENES 16 AND 17 FROM THE PILOT SCRIPT FOR... GREEN REVISIONS: 04/05/06 YELLOW REVISIONS: 03/30/06 Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip Pilot Written by Aaron Sorkin Directed by Thomas Schlamme This script is the...

Tom Petty (rock star, 55, Malibu, California).(Interview)
August 1, 2006... * I don't think I've learned anything that I didn't already know. I just didn't recognize it at first. * When I met Elvis, we didn't really have a conversation. I was introduced by my uncle, and he sort of grunted my way. What stays with...

I sure don't mind a change *: singer Chris Cornell has gone from U.S. to France, Soundgarden to Audioslave, rock star to rock star/family man. Its been a change, of pace, of address, of scenery, and, with the help of fall's standout collections, of style.(Fall Style: PREVIEW)(Interview)
August 1, 2006... HE'S SOBER. HE'S REMARRIED. He's living in Paris. Audioslave singer Chris Cornell says he can't think of one aspect of his life he hasn't changed in the last few years. The former Soundgarden frontman has kept up one old habit, though: making...

Recent product recalls.
August 1, 2006... Prefrontal cortex from Jeffrey, Skilling, circa 1999. Manufacturers defect responsible for inability of brain to produce even minute amounts of ethical behavior. All biology textbooks! * They are laced with fables and inaccuracies about...